The CEO's Secret Baby

#7 - I Don't Need Him

Elaine

"And?" Jade asked once Claire was out of earshot—or so I assumed.

My conversation with my daughter had been hard. For the first time ever. She'd been her bright, bubbly self, while I couldn't help but think of what I was doing to her. Whether she'd hate me in the future like I did my mother.

I internally sighed, pasting on a smile for my best friend.

"And... Ash Pines is such a beautiful place. You'd love it." I stared out of my cabin's window, the sight of a stream flowing close by making me smile. I couldn't wait to get out there with my camera, to get lost in all the sounds and sights the woods surrounding the high end retreat had to offer. Let it help me forget— if only for a moment.

"I actually meant the other thing." My best friend bit the inside of her cheek, wincing. "Did you see him?"

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, I did." I mumbled, knowing it was nowhere near enough of an answer for Jade. But I didn't want to get into anything Grayson. Because then I would have to face the ache in my chest I'd been barely ignoring. I'd have to remember that he called me El.

I'd have to remember the mock of regret that had been written on his face while he did it.

And he'd remembered that I preferred tea to coffee. He'd remembered exactly how I took it.

I did not want to think about him. About his P.A. Melanie's assumptions, either.

Although—as always—here was the thing: actively trying not to think of someone, made you do the exact opposite. I waved away the annoyance that came with that.

I could do this.

I had learned to exist with an everyday reminder of him. Nothing would change just because I had to work with him.

Well—apart from the unearthed ache deep in my chest I thought I had buried.

The one still as fresh as the day it had first been lodged there.

"And?" she prodded.

"And nothing." I sighed, walking over to the window. Sitting on the edge, I stared in the distance. I'd do the job, make my best friend's dreams come true, then things would go back to the way they'd been. I'd just have to re-bury everything all over again.

"Oh God, I'm such a selfish and terrible friend," Jade lamented, snapping me from my consuming thoughts.

Her hands flew to her face, hiding from me.

We both knew that wasn't true, so I was quick to put her out of her misery.

"No you're not."

"How can you say that?" she groaned. "I just sent you...there, and now you are zoning out on me like before—"

I was?

"God, how could I be so selfish?" She let out a long, deep sigh, and I knew she was really regretting this. "I didn't think—"

"I'm glad you did." I blurted, not wanting her going down that road. She'd already sacrificed so much for me, and had expressly forbidden me from mentioning any of it. Ever.

"What?" She peeked at me, her nose scrunching up, her sharp, skeptical self rearing its head. "Are you saying you're jumping for joy to be there?"

"Well, no—"

"Uh—huh." She agreed, but I quickly cut her off.

"I'm saying, I'm glad to do something for you for a change," I said honestly. Facing Grayson was a high price to pay, but I was willing to go that high for Jade.

Her eyes softened. "You know you don't have to repay me for anything."

"I do." But I still wanted to repay her.

"And you are really the best there is," she mumbled, sighing. "That's why I didn't think."

The best there is.

I knew she was referring to my photography skills. I also knew she wouldn't hesitate to extend that to me as a person, a friend—but a tiny voice inside said otherwise.

I wasn't the best.

Not when I was keeping so much from my daughter.

"I don't know if I can keep her from him... from them." I confessed, suddenly feeling tired.

"Them?" Jade frowned.

"Her family. She's got a family, Jade." I felt the guilt weigh down heavier thinking of Asher, Scarlet and Sasha—Claire's family. Her grand parents. Grayson was her father. I would have given everything to have known mine. Even if he was flawed.

"I'm such a hypocrite, Jay." My eyes stung. "How am I different from my mother?"

"She left you without looking back, while you've loved and fought for that little girl her entire life. That's how." My best friend's eyes blazed, easing something in me. "And I know you'll do just that as long as you live. Nope, definitely not your mother's daughter." She snorted at the idea, as though it were absolutely ridiculous.

I chuckled. "What would I do without you?"

At that Jade grinned. "You need to meet someone," she exclaimed, making me shoot her an incredulous look.

"Right. Because dating is exactly what I need right now."

Unbothered, she only grinned. "You never know. Stranger things have happened."

I blinked at her. "You know I'll be too busy working. Besides, I'm not exposing Claire to anyone."

"Not exactly a 'no'," she pointed out, still grinning.

She had a point. I could have said no. Why didn't I?

"Stop overthinking. You are at a resort full of clients, who, I'm sure, will be up for a little mingling, a little fun and some dirty shots to keep as mementos—"

"Ew. I'm not that kind of artist." I paused, eyes wide. "Oh. My. God. Is that why you sent me here? To get laid?"

"Of course, not. You know how much I need this—"

"Yeah, so I don't get why you'd want me to screw it up by hooking up with a client."

"You of all people know how to multi task. I'm sure you can hook up without breaking your camera or ... this contract just fine. And P.S.—Frost Renew's clients are not your clients. They're fair game. And..." Jade shot me a serious expression. "You can be sure you won't be exposing anyone to Claire...unless you want to."

I hated how that seemed to include Grayson. Jade had promised to castrate him, but after seeing her with Claire, I doubted she'd ever do that to her goddaughter's father.

"Forget that you are a mum for a bit—and live."

"I've been living," I squeaked.

"Yeah, I can see that." Jade scrunched her nose, lifting my favorite cargo pants.

Wait. Why where those back in Kenswell?

"You didn't pack my lucky pants?"

"You mean your boring work gear that's an excuse for never dressing up? Uh...no." she grinned mischievously.

I leveled her with a hard stare. "What did you do?" Dread filled me as I dove for the duffel bag and emptied it's contents. Dresses. So many dresses. And underwear. Dark, bright, lacy, sexy—definitely not what I would have picked. "Did you buy these? I can't work in these," I sneered, lifting a tiny thong. I could already feel it digging into my back side the moment I squatted for a shot. "I have a lunch date coming—what am I supposed to wear?"

"A date? Already?" Jade smiled, impressed.

"Work lunch." I glared. This was so her. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted you to pack my bag."

"Oh, please," she rolled her eyes. "You'll be thanking me when that gorgeous man asks you out to dinner."

"There is no gorgeous man," I argued, exasperated. "I don't want a man," I added, when she merely smirked at me.

"He could be at your door right now." She wiggled her eyebrows. And as if she was in cahoots with the universe, there was an actual knock on my door.

What the—

"Someone's at the door." I scrunched up my nose.

"Fate," Jade exclaimed, shooting to her feet. "Don't cut me off. I want to see who the universe served you."

And that was my cue to do exactly that. I ended the call, scoffing as I remembered that my best friend didn't even believe in fate.

Reaching for the door handle, I paused.

What if there was really a man on the other side of this door?

What if it was Grayson?

He hadn't found out where I was staying already, had he?

I shook my head at the obvious. Of course he had. This was his retreat after all. But what would he be doing here?

I pulled the door open, ready to... I didn't know, turn down any offers or demands he'd come with?

"Dante?" I blinked at the beast of a man on my cabin's porch. Yeah, there was a man in front of my door.

"Long time, Miss Murdoch." He nodded at me.

I scrunched up my nose. "You know I hate it—hated it when you called me that."

"Sorry, Miss Elaine." He straightened even when he didn't need to.

"Elaine," I huffed, even though I knew that Dante would never address me so casually. But he would gladly take a bullet for me. I scowled at that thought, at what his presence meant.

"I don't need his protection." I hissed at the man, but as before, the buff body guard only nodded in understanding. That didn't mean he would disregard his boss' orders.

Argh.

I slammed the door shut halfway, then opened it again. "Tell him I don't need him."