Forever Entwined

Promises

"What happened?" The physician arrived moments after Cass had stormed out.

"I tripped," Nix lied, her gaze flicking to Millie for support.

"This one is such a klutz," Millie chimed in smoothly, her eyes conveying a silent understanding. She knew the physician's wife had a penchant for gossip, and the last thing the kingdom needed was whispers about the Queen's delicate state.

"Well, Your Majesty, you must take more care. One would expect you'll soon be carrying precious cargo." The physician's attempt at gentle concern landed awkwardly.

"Indeed. And the Queen herself is precious cargo, so let's tend to those legs." Millie's tone was firm, brooking no further speculation.

"Of course." The old man lowered his gaze and set to work, his touch gentle as he cleaned and dressed the minor cuts and scrapes. "I'll return tomorrow afternoon to change the dressings and ensure no infection takes hold."

"Thank the Goddess that old busybody is gone!" Millie huffed, sinking down beside Nix, who had begun to cry. Silent, hot tears streamed down her delicate face. "Nix, darling, Cass is being utterly unreasonable, but I truly believe he'll come around."

"Did...did you know...the whole time?" Nix stammered through heaving sobs.

"Yes," Millie sighed, pulling the younger woman into a comforting embrace. "But I also sensed you felt unable to speak of it. Everyone carries their secrets, Nix."

"I feel so awful for lying!" Nix sobbed into Millie's shoulder, guilt and exhaustion weighing heavily on her. "He's my mate!" she wailed, her voice thick with despair. "I should've talked to him. I could've at least tried."

"Ohh, it will be alright. You are both still finding your way together. These things take time to navigate," Millie assured her, stroking her hair.

"I just..." Nix hiccuped, "It just scares me, the thought of childbirth, of bringing an entirely new life into the world. I don't want to repeat the mistakes of my parents, but I know nothing of being a mother." The torrent of Nix's anxieties poured out until she was utterly spent, finally drifting into a restless sleep in Millie's arms.

The next morning, Nix awoke with a throbbing headache and the familiar weight of guilt in her stomach. She rolled over to find Millie gone, but a tray laden with breakfast and a soothing herbal drink sat beside the bed. She gratefully gulped down the drink but couldn't bring herself to eat.

Hours crawled by as she sat by the window, watching the sun arc across the sky. What could she say? What could she do?

Around supper time, the physician returned to redress her wounds. He spoke gently, probing for answers, but Nix remained locked in her silence, unable to utter a single word.

After he left, she returned to her vigil by the window, watching the moon paint the darkening sky with silver. Suddenly, a familiar warmth settled on her shoulder. The low rumble of his voice, a sound she both longed for and dreaded, pulled her from her thoughts.

Nix turned to face her mate. Cass stood in a simple linen shirt and shorts, the very attire he'd worn the day they met. A wave of bittersweet nostalgia washed over her.

"My love," he sighed, his blue eyes filled with a weary tenderness. "I am sorry I made you feel as if you couldn't speak to me about...certain things."

She turned away, a fresh wave of hurt washing over her. She walked to the bed and slipped beneath the covers, seeking refuge from his gaze and the weight of their unspoken conflict.

"Nixie," His voice, laced with a raw vulnerability, reached her through the fabric. Then, the covers were gently pulled back, and he climbed into bed beside her, joining her in their shared attempt to hide from the judging eyes of their world.

"I love you so much, sometimes I forget you come from a very different place than I do." Cass's gaze was earnest, searching. "Here, at court, the girls grow up with one expectation: finding their mate and bearing children. But they have always known freedom and abundance, the very things you have never had." The small space between them felt vast, a chasm of unspoken fears and misunderstandings.

"I just wanted a choice," Nix whispered, her voice barely audible.

"All you had to do was say that," Cass reached out a hand, his fingers brushing against her arm, a silent plea for connection.

She flinched away, the memory of his anger still sharp. "If, all those weeks ago, I had turned to you and said I don't wish to have children, what would you have said, realistically?" Nix met his gaze, daring him to offer a comforting lie.

"I would have most likely dismissed it as nerves," he admitted, his voice low. "But if you had been more clear, if we had talked about it more openly, I am sure it wouldn't have come to this."

"So then, what is the solution?" She stared up at the sheets, the threat of fresh tears making it impossible to look at him directly.

"I will give you time, within reason, as much time as you need to be ready to mother our children. But, you must understand, the longer this takes, the less the kingdom will think of me. It will make me appear weaker to my enemies, and the gossips will whisper that either you are infertile or I am impotent."

Nix felt the truth of his words like a cold stone in her chest. The political realities of their world were inescapable.

"Okay," she whispered, her voice small. "Will you...will you be able to obtain the tea for me until that time?" The question hung heavy in the air, the unspoken act a stark reminder of their fractured intimacy.

"Yes," he said, his voice thick with a desperate tenderness. "I will give you anything you need or desire." He hesitated, then whispered, his vulnerability laid bare, "But I need to know...do you still love me too?"

"Of course I do," she finally looked at him, her heart aching at the sight of his worried eyes. The dam of her emotions broke, and tears welled up.

She snuggled against him, instantly comforted by his familiar warmth and presence. It had been weeks since he'd been able to visit her chambers, and the memory of his anger from the previous night still stung.

"I just feel like when I'm around you, I'm a dressed-up plaything," she confessed, her chin resting on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "No one asks my opinion or even really speaks to me. But when I'm with Millie, or when you're not at court, I'm involved, and people come to me for help and advice."

"I am so sorry, Nixie. I didn't realize," Cass felt a pang of shame, a sudden awareness of his own blindness. How could he have been so oblivious to her feelings?

"That's the thing, though, Cass," Nix sighed, the weight of her frustration evident in her voice. "I don't want to have to spell it all out for you until the end of time. If I can notice and accept that you're too busy to spend time with me for days, or that I will never be helpful when it comes to planning hydraulics, how is it so hard for you to see that I'm struggling?"

"Well," he murmured, holding her tighter, "I know now. It's not going to happen again. I promise."