Chloe

Part Two - School/ Chapter 1 - First Day of School

Once I heard school referred to as an institution of learning. Ha! It is an institution for sure, but for learning? No, it was an institution of torture where the students had their own agenda to harass and morph into a mass of teenage angst and the teacher delighted in the manifestations derived from their drama. – Chloe’s diary

Chapter 1

First Day of School

She overslept. The first day of school and she was staring at the clock disbelieving. She had exactly 30 minutes to get a shower, get dressed, and get to the bus stop outside the community.  Edwin wasn’t being helpful either. He kept reaching for her as she was trying to get out of bed. He mumbled something about what the big rush was and she shouted, “I’m LATE! The bus will be here in 30 minutes!” She rushed off to take a millisecond shower. By the time she got out and started fixing the tangle mass of her hair Edwin had gotten up too.

 Hopping on one foot, she slid on the first clothes she could find and ran from the room. Edwin was in the kitchen getting a juice and an apple out of the fridge. He handed her the juice and said sheepishly, “I had great plans to fix you this awesome breakfast, but I guess we both got used to the summer schedule.” 

   “Thanks Edwin, it’s okay, I have to run.” She snatched the juice and apple and turned to run out. He grabbed her arm before she got very far. He gave her a kiss and said, “I can’t believe you were going to leave without saying goodbye. Have a good day and don’t worry. I love you.” 

She looked up at him for a moment, always a little dazed by him, and then said, “I love you, too, but you know that.” He chuckled.

Running to the bus stop, which was located outside the gated community, she nearly fell down twice and arrived just in time for the bus. She didn’t want to imagine the picture she presented, she didn’t have to, she knew. She was gross, disheveled, and tired. Once on the bus, she grabbed an empty seat up front and rested the back of her head against the window.

   The bus was loaded with freshmen and as a senior, she felt like a teacher with a group of toddlers. She tilted her head enough and came in direct contact with the death girl from the grocery store. How could she forget the dull, black hair, black smudged eyes, and bad attitude? The girl squinted her eyes, stuck her pierced tongue out and wiggled it. Gross. It was enough to break eye contact, turn around, and not to show any reaction. Her day had already begun.

  The school was huge. So huge in fact it took her all of first period to find her class. She didn’t want to make her first appearance into the classroom late with desks full of students so she waited until the bell rang before entering into the classroom.

The teacher barely spared her a glance as she handed the teacher her schedule.

“I’m sorry,” Chloe moved a piece of hair out of her face, “I couldn’t find…” but the teacher effectively cut her off with a wave of her hand. 

“I don’t tolerate excuses, and I don’t care where you were. Make sure you are here tomorrow, or I will report you to the office.” The lady didn’t even look up from what looked like a pop quiz. Great, her first class on her first day and she had already made one enemy. She didn’t respond as she backed out the room and headed down the hall.

She was careful to find her second class on time. She was relieved to locate a seat toward the middle. She put her book down on the smooth top and was about to lower her body into the wooden seat. 

“Like that is sooooo not your seat,” a petite blond girl in a cheerleading outfit said while flipping her hair with her hand.

“Oh, I didn’t realize we had reserved seats, I’m sorry,” Chloe removed her book. The girl laughed and plopped herself down. She gaped as she realized she had been played but, not wanting to make a scene, she covertly looked around for another seat. 

She wanted to cry. The only available seat was at the front of the classroom. Great, the worst seat in the class and she just got suckered. 

She was walking to the front of the class when she tripped on apparently air. So like her. She started to fall and had to grab on the first available thing to stop her decent to the floor and utter humiliation.  Unfortunately the first thing she grabbed was a guy in a letter jacket who yelled “What the hell?!”

“I’m so sorry,” she gazed into a decently good-looking guy’s hazel eyes and took an instant dislike. His dark eyes swallowed her whole, as if she was something to eat. It made her sick to her stomach.

 He raised his eyebrows, “It’s okay, sweetheart, you can land on my lap anytime,” then he swatted her butt. What a jerk! All the guys laughed at the unoriginal disgusting joke, but the girls sent her dark looks.

Mortified, she found her seat front and center when the teacher came in. A rough looking woman, or maybe a man in drag, she honestly couldn’t tell. Whatever IT was, she knew that the school certainly didn’t hire on looks. 

The teacher took one look at Chloe and she knew she was in for it. She was called on for everything and since she wasn’t here the year before she felt like a complete i***t. 

Evidently so did the rest of the class if the disgusted looks were any indication. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the teacher hadn’t announced extra homework because obviously “we”, were sadly lacking, mainly herself. The whole class pointedly glared at her as if she was the sole reason for it. The day just kept getting better. 

Chloe walked out of the class with her head down not wanting to see how her fellow classmates send hateful glares her way. She finally found her locker but two people were in a passionate embrace in front of it. A more accurate description was that they looked like they were fornicating fully clothed. 

The girl had a cheerleading outfit like the one who stole her seat. Chloe was tempted to say, “Go team” but she was too disgusted so she skipped her locker and went to third period. It was her art class and for once she felt comfortable. She sat at the end of a long table where no one seemed to mind. A round girl sat next to her who looked as if she was having a worse day than her. In fact she looked close to tears. 

Sympathy welled in Chloe, “Is everything okay?” she asked quietly, careful not to let others filtering in to overhear. 

The girl seemed shocked that someone talked to her and shrugged, “Just a bad day.” 

Chloe smiled, she knew a thing or two about bad days, “Believe me, I can completely relate. School sucks.” The girl nodded her head enthusiastically. 

As the class filled up Chloe was a little shocked to see grocery-store-death-chick come waltzing in. When she spotted Chloe she stopped for a moment and did her usual squinty look. Chloe wanted to ask if she might need glasses but smartly held her tongue. Death girl slithered around a perfectly empty table, made her way to their table and plopped down across the sweet girl. Great, just when she thought things were getting better and she was making a friend.

Their table filled up with an eclectic blend of personalities. A guy with black hair had a wide stripe of gray run straight through his bangs. She thought he might dye it as some desperate attempt to stand out and couldn’t understand why anyone would dye his hair gray - white, blue, pink but gray? It didn’t make sense. They exchanged smiles and she decided, gray hair or not, the guy seemed nice. Another small, serious guy sat at the very end of the table, as if he always sat there and earned the right to do so. 

Total there were three guys and four girls, and she didn’t feel uncomfortable with any of them sans the death chick.  In truth, the death chick really didn’t bother her. Maybe it was a hint of vulnerability vibe emanating from her or the fact she had good ole Uncle Earl at home, but whatever the reason she really couldn’t be hateful toward the girl. She could almost forgive anything for a girl who had Uncle Earl to contend with for her entire life.

 When the bell rang she didn’t want to leave the sanctity of her art class but if she didn’t get to her locker to drop off her school books she was going to have a serious back injury. 

 Hefting her overly heavy bag on her shoulder, she walked carefully down the crowded halls fearing that every step caused permanent damage to her back. However, when she got to her locker the fornicators were at it again. Good grief, this was ridiculous. She shook her head deciding to skip her locker again and head to lunch.

The thought of entering a cafeteria for lunch sent sharp pains to her stomach. She had a slew of terrible experiences in the past, and she wasn’t actually sure if she could enter the cafeteria. The fact that she was starving and she didn’t have enough time to pack her lunch this morning didn’t help her anxieties either.  Damn, but her only choice was to brave it through the social nightmare called lunch.

Her heart pounded and her stomach ached as she walked into the massive cafeteria. People were everywhere and she had nowhere to go. Swallowing down equal parts of panic and claustrophobia, she squeezed past a group of classmates to the ever-growing line extending far beyond the food that lay beyond. She was relieved when the lines moved rapidly, sucking through the door and spitting her out the other end with food in her hand. She collected her tray of food off the metal tubes and tried to navigate to a safe place to sit without dropping it, tripping, or otherwise making a spectacle.

   Typical of any school there were your established lunch table divisions. The most identifiable were the popular kids. They were congregated into one area easily identified by a virtual sea of school colors. 

She turned in the opposite direction, far, far away from them. She imagined that her anti-popular chemical would set them off like a pack of wild hyenas if she got too close. She saw the table full of the punk-rock, probably-on-drugs section, the chess club section, and the drama kids. Good grief, is there a normal table here? Finally in a far corner there was a table where only one person sat. 

 They probably had some contagious disease but she rather deal with that than any of these tables she didn’t fit in.

She asked the person if she could sit down and was surprised to learn it was the little round girl in her art class. She smiled, relieved she actually lucked out for once in her life. Placing her tray on the table, she pulled out a chair and sat.

“You actually want to sit with me?” the girl asked unbelieving. 

“Sure, I am Chloe Carter,” she held out her hand for the girl to shake.

“I am Jody Casovich,” she answered shyly, shaking Chloe’s hand tentatively.

“I’m new here, if you haven’t guessed already. This place is…interesting,” Chloe gestured with her hand like her aunt, the realization amused her to no end.

“Yes, it’s horrible, I hate it. I have known these people since the 8th grade but they act like they’ve never seen me before. As if fat is contagious. I’m surprised you want to talk to me. I’m sure you’re used to a more popular crowd wherever you come from,” Jody answered wide-eyed.

Chloe snorted out a, “right,” and thought she was joking. However when Jody didn’t laugh along side her, she cleared her throat and said, “Well, umm, not exactly. I seem to repel people.” She moved some indistinguishable stuff around on her plate, suddenly not hungry anymore.

It was Jody’s turn to snort. Chloe frowned, “Why do you not believe that?”

“Because you’re beautiful and clearly connected.” Jody gestured toward Chloe’s outfit as if that made any sense whatsoever.

Connected? What does she mean connected? So Chloe asked.

“You’re wearing designer clothes, you have perfect hair, your skin is flawless, and for goodness sake you’re carrying a Loui Vuitton back pack! I didn’t even know he made backpacks, I’ve never seen one.” 

Chloe looked down at the clothes Sandra picked out and the gifts her friends gave her. She hadn’t a clue about any of it. They were nice and all but they were just things to wear. They certainly weren’t important. She was about to say so but her cell phone beeped and she reached to see who was texting. Jody gasped. 

“What?”

“My goodness! Where in the world did you get that cell phone?! They have been advertising them like crazy but the release date isn’t until next year! 

Chloe looked at the phone and shrugged, “I don’t know, my boyfriend gave it to me for my first day of school.” She then read the message.

Keep your head up, halfway through.  I’ll be waiting for you at home. I love you.

He seemed to always know what to say and do, tears filled her eyes. Jody was watching her intently, “Something wrong?” 

Chloe sighed, “No, everything’s perfect.” 

 Jody reached over and fingered her sand dollar charm on the end of the phone and said, “Wow that’s cool, is it a real diamond?”

Chloe shrugged and said again, “My boyfriend gave it to me.”

She paused then smiled, “I guess he gave you that necklace too?” She glanced at the gold sand dollar dangling from her neck and nodded the affirmative. 

Jody asked, “What’s the significance of the sand dollar?” Jody was full of questions but for once she didn’t mind. She loved talking about Edwin. 

 “I guess you could say that a sand dollar was the reason why I met him and his friends.”

 Jody tilted her head and said, “Continue.” 

Chloe laughed, “It isn’t really any great mystery or romantic tale. I was walking the beach looking for another sand dollar, I had one in my hand. I wasn’t paying attention when I ran into Edwin’s best friend…literally. The sand dollar that I had found fell and Christoph scared me so badly that I ran back to the cottage without it. Later Christoph, with his friends, came to bring it back to me. Edwin, my boyfriend, was one of his friends.” Chloe touched her necklace, “Since then the sand dollar has been a symbol of our friendship.”

Jody sighed. “Is Christoph single?” 

The question startled a laugh out of Chloe, “Yes, but he isn’t a serious fellow, if you get my drift.”

Jody sighed, “What a shame.”

“If you saw him, you would understand. He reminds me of what I imagine Adonis would have looked like.”

Jody eyes got wide then she laughed. Lunch went by quickly and her reprieve from school ended.

   Fourth period was much the same. The teacher hated her instantly, students pushing her out of the way. After all, what was a class without hostility toward her? She almost wondered if she had a sign that said, “Walk all over me, I don’t care.”

She was disgusted and tired, and she HAD to drop off these thousand pound books before it broke her back, but yet again the fornicating duo was still there. 

It was enough, she had enough! She walked up to her locker and tapped the guy on the shoulder hoping to dislodge the two, but they were too busy sucking their brains out to pay any attention to her. 

Really folks, is this necessary?  She tapped a little harder but nothing. She said loudly “EXCUSE ME” and again nothing. So she pushed the guy on the shoulder a few times. He finally turned around to yell through his glistening moist lips, “What the hell?!” 

The sight of the spit on his lips turned her stomach. Then again maybe she was just surprised he had lips left. 

Speaking calmly, slowly, and as clearly as possible, she asked, “Would you please kindly remove yourself off my locker, I need to put my books up and you seem to be in my way,” and have been all day, she added silently.

   His lovely response was, “Go to hell,” then to turn around and commenced to sucking the cheerleader’s face off. The sad thing was she could tell the guy wasn’t even a good kisser as he practically slobbered all over her. Nice. 

Hindsight told her she probably should have left them and came back with a teacher, but as usual her mouth is short wired to her brain and instead she yelled, “I would love to go to hell and take you there with me, but as you can see I can’t BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY BOOKS!” She hefted her bags up for emphasis. 

He ignored her as he continued his assault on the cheerleader. What an ass and she was pissed. She yelled again, “For God’s sake! Get a room or go somewhere, anywhere but here! No one wants to see y’all screw in the hallway. Just grab your w***e and GO or I’ll shove these books up y’all’s ASSES!!” Using her shoulder, she shoved both of them out of her way making them dislodge and stumble. 

She was shocked by her actions, shocked by the foul language she used. Her hand shook as she stuffed her locker full of her books. She realized she was at her end; she was done with the whole damn school and it was only the first day. 

At the same time she was instantly ashamed of her behavior but it was too late for remorse. And it was too late for her to take back anything.

   It wasn’t long before she realized everything was quiet in the hallway. She looked up from her locker to see everyone looking at her in various stages of shock. 

  She didn’t understand initially, until the formally fornicating cheerleader sidled up next her.

“Do you have any idea who I am?” Her shrilly voice caused Chloe to clamp her teeth in irritation.

“I’m new here, I suppose you’ll inform me,” Chloe answered sarcastically, proud of herself standing up to the girl. 

“I’m the head cheerleader, b***h, and no one, NO ONE talks to ME in that matter and gets away with it.” Then she slapped Chloe’s face.

 She should have been used to that, or maybe because she was used to it, so instead of cowering, she slapped her back. The girl held her cheek while the look of complete astonishment engulfed her features but quickly morphed into a mask of hate.

 “Your life is about to be hell,” the girl spat, turned on her heel and stomped off with the dramatic flair of someone who had been sorely offended. 

So, evidently the fornicating cheerleader was actually the head cheerleader and probably the most popular girl in the school. Chloe shook her head, her good luck knows no bounds. She sighed, shoved the last book in the locker and slammed it. 

 On the bright side, she was profoundly relieved to unload the massive weight out of her backpack, with that thought she bounced off to her next class.

   It took approximately one hour for rumors to explode around the school about the new girl assaulting the head cheerleader. The rumors got bigger and more outlandish until Chloe was perceived as a monster. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the cheerleader was feeding the gossip in order to make her out to be a monster, but unfortunately, she couldn’t retaliate. Who was she going to tell? She didn’t know anyone. She hadn’t been there long enough to form any friends.

The morning had been bad, but the afternoon became progressively worse. The cheerleaders morphed into one big harassing body that enlisted their boyfriends to say horrible things about her. 

If it had been just about the words she could deal with it by ignoring them. She was good at that. Didn’t she just spend her entire Junior year disappearing? But what she didn’t count on were the attacks becoming more physical. She thought she had left that horror back in a dank tiny apartment in Germany.

  She couldn’t walk somewhere without someone shoving, pinching or kicking her. Looking at her arm, she knew she would have bruises all over her body by the end of the day. Going to the office was not an option, and neither talking to the teachers, because she quickly realized they all quickly turned their heads to what they justified as “harmless” flirting.

   When the final bell rang she was so anxious to leave that she nearly fell face first on the bus steps. 

“You’re such a loser,” said the shrilly voice with a wicked laugh she was beginning to associate to the head cheerleader. The obnoxious foul person continued with, “Good God you are riding the bus! That’s PERFECT!” Then she gave her the one finger salute and bounced off to the parking lot probably to get into her red convertible Barbie car specially made for fornicating trashy cheerleaders.

After entering the bus, Chloe sat in the first available seat she could find, leaning against the window stretching her legs far in front of her so no one could sit by her. She tried to close her eyes, but she had that uncomfortable feeling someone was staring at her. She turned to see the grocery-store-death-chick with that stupid squinty-eyed stare.

 “Do you mind? I really don’t need your s**t either,” Chloe said to her. Then turning back around, she closed her eyes for the rest of the trip home.

   When she arrived at her bus stop and walked through the community gates profound relief settled over her. She felt like she had been through hell and back.

The sanctity of the cottage loomed before her along with Edwin’s car. She took off in a sprint, taking the stairs two at a time, until she busted through the front door straight into his arms. He was laughing and she was crying.

“It can’t be that bad!” he said as he caressed the back of her head. 

“Yes, and so much worse,” her words drenched with tears. He carefully led her to the couch.

“Tell me about it,” he said in a low calm voice and she did. The words pouring from her mouth, tears dripping down her cheeks.

 She expected Edwin to be a bit upset but otherwise unmoved, she expected him to tell her that things were going to get better. What she didn’t expect was his complete and total anger. Edwin was livid. He was pacing the living room and muttering curses underneath his breath, which were as much out of character for him as it was for her.

“Damn it, I can’t do a DAMN thing.” He yelled. She folded herself further into the couch not sure how to take his outburst. He paced again, muttering under his breath.

Finally she had enough, “Don’t worry Edwin, I’m good at making myself disappear, they’ll forget about me before long.” 

The statement bothered her because she loathed disappearing again when she had felt alive for the first time in a very long time. She deserved as much as any other person to have her day in high school. 

She got up and gave Edwin a kiss, “I’m going to take a shower to wash off the filth of the day.” He absently nodded.

   After her shower, she walked into the living room following loud voices. She saw Edwin and her aunt out on the deck in what seemed to be an argument. She stopped outside the door straining to hear their conversation.

“You need to tell her now, Edwin.”

“Today is not a good day,” Edwin answered, pacing raking his hand through his already mussed hair.

“You have been saying that forever. This has got to stop. You’re going to hurt her!” Aunt was angry and frantic, her hands waving through the air.

Edwin stopped and turned to look straight at her as if he felt her presence.

“I assume you’re talking about me?” she blurted out, hurt.

They both looked a little ashamed, as they should.

“It’s nothing really,” Edwin said and Aunt gave him a hard look.

“It’s just that I have to go out of the country for a month or so, and we didn’t want to tell you with everything you have going at school.”  A sharp pain hit her stomach and Aunt looked about to explode.

“When?” She barely got out with bile rising to her throat.

“In three weeks.” Three weeks? She repeated in her head. Edwin would be gone from her life and forget about her. She knew he would. Her eyes filled up with tears, and she ran to her room and fell down her bed covering her head with a pillow as sobs hit her repeatedly. It was horrible. She hated feeling out of control. She had spent her life out of control. Won’t it ever get better?

She felt the bed dip with Edwin’s weight. He leaned over and slowly removed the pillow, brushing the hair off her face. 

“Why?” She sobbed.

“My father needs me to accompany him to England.”

“Why!” She knew she was being irrational but she didn’t care.

“I don‘t have a choice,” he answered simply.

“Tell him no.”

“I can’t.”

He stretched out next to her, caressing her face, kissing her neck then rubbing her back, which calmed her down considerably. 

“I don’t think I can bear it,” she cried some more.

“I know how you feel but it’s nothing I have a choice in. In fact I’ve been putting it off for a long time. I just wanted more time with you. I’ve been selfish and now I have to pay for it.”

She pried opened her eyes that she was sure were puffy and red.

“Why now?”

“I hoped school would keep you distracted enough in order not to miss me.” 

She snorted her disbelief; good grief was he an i***t? She needed him now more than ever. He continued, “I’ll make sure things are arranged for you to have it easier at school before I leave.” What the hell does that mean? But she didn’t ask, she was hurting too much and at this point she didn’t care about school or anything but Edwin.

   Edwin still rubbed her back, which he knew she loved, worked down her legs to her feet. It felt so good, that at one point, she stopped crying and let sensations overcome her. 

When he started kissing her, all thought of the day and him leaving went out the window. At least for a few minutes she could forget about it.

   Later that night he got up and brought back some snacks for them to eat in the bed forgoing dinner. She loved him so much she didn’t want to be without him, “Can I go with you?” she asked a bit desperately.

  He scrubbed his face with his hand, “Believe me, if you could, you would.”

She began to cry again. It was a long miserable night, the prefect end to a long miserable day.