Two Worlds

Chapter 1

Life, death, decision...?? It doesn't matter to me anymore. For me, what you make out of your life is all up to you. "Hey Jess, you haven't eaten anything for a while," my brother told me as he hands me a plate of veggies "You've been working non-stop, you need to eat at least something" I shook my head and rejected his offer for the umpteenth time. It was dark outside when I look out of the window beside my bed. How long has it been since I last went out and feel the morning breeze and the heat of the sun on my skin? I took a deep breath and lied back down on the bed, the pain in my chest getting unbearable as time passes.

RING! RING!

I jumped out of my thoughts from the loud ringing of my alarm clock, saying that it's already time for another day at work. It was on the cold morning of December when I start to get up and do my morning routine. It's been 3 years since I decided to leave my country and pursue a career as an international teacher abroad. I loved my job as well as the pressure at work despite having so much work to finish. Being a teacher isn't easy. Only 10% of your time is for yourself just for the sake of preparing the younger generations for the future. But what makes you love this job that no matter where your students go, they would always remember you that once in their life, you were there to help them achieve one step of their life.

My name is Jessica Marquis Theodore, but you can call me Jess. I grew up in a middle-class family and graduated with lower second class honors. I'm a teacher, a healthcare provider, a writer, a researcher, an entrepreneur, anything that you'd like to call me. I've been working hard to make my name known in various fields in order to achieve success. Not just for my family but for myself. I want to become a woman that is worthy of respect. I have high goals in life and I want to achieve all of those at such an early age. I want to bring myself and mom all the honor and respect that she and our family deserves.

"Aren't you coming over for the party?" my colleague asked me and as usual, I rejected the offer. I have so much paper works and research journals and articles that are due time soon. I can't pass the work just for one night fun. Call me a workaholic but this is me. I want to stay on top of all things and that is how I live. I don't have to brag about it in front of other people because my works will speak louder for me. "Have a safe trip, everyone!" I smiled and packed up my stuff for a long day off for the holidays. It's been quite long since I decided to go out for some fun. But that doesn't matter, what I'm focused on is for my success.

I played my idol's music while making myself dinner. There's three more research journals that I have to finish plus I have to prepare lesson plans and course outline for the subjects I'll be assigned to teach for the next semester. It's really hectic but I like it. My idols always inspire me to be successful. Every time I hear their cool voices, I'm fine by own. I was startled from the ringing of my phone while doing my work. "Jess, your aunt gave up on your brother... Everyone does... I don't think I can continue giving him second chances every single time this happens" I could hear the distressed voice of my mom over the phone. Call me an ice queen but I've always been emotional when it comes to the family, especially my mom. She's the only one I have.

"What is it this time?" I sat on one of the kitchen stools while taking a sip of my warm coffee. It's already night but I have to keep myself awake in order to finish my work early so I could have the rest of the holidays free for watching movies and just chilling out until new paper works and deadlines come up. I took a deep breath in order to collect my thoughts and compose myself in order to think rationally so I could avoid uttering words that would hurt my brother's feelings. I don't understand why he acts the way he does but by reading his posts on social media, I could already tell his reasons. It makes me feel frustrated as well but I still try to understand. After all, everyone goes on their own time to achieve full maturity.

My aunt went on her way to help my brother land a job in a company. Unfortunately for some reason, he resigned from that position and gave away the opportunity. Now, he's jobless and another liability. I pinched my temples and though for the best resolution for this problem. "I want all of you to ignore him and stop feeling pity over him. We already gave him enough second chances yet, he keeps on failing our expectations every single time" I also told my mom to tell everyone to stop giving him any financial support so he would understand how it feels like to have nothing. I want him to understand the value of money. Because every time I get the chance to learn about my brother, I hear nothing but give him a second chance because of his emotional needs. He's an adult now and he needs to learn how to have thick skin and actually find a source of living. I want him to understand that we're not always going to stay by his side and spoon-feed him all his life. He needs to grow up and think like a matured individual.

I know I was too harsh for my words but sometimes, people need to hear the brutal truth and face reality that not everything is full of unicorns and rainbows. "I'm done, thank you so much for your patience" I smiled through the phone after calling our research group. I just finished my latest work and sent it to their email so they could proofread everything and forward it to the publishing company. It was hard but as you get the hang of it, you'll find out how fun it actually really is. I looked at the time and found out that I still have 6 hours before midnight. I went to the bathroom to take a quick bath so I could hang out at the night bazaar near my home.