FIRST FIGHT AS A MARRIED COUPLE
1491 Words
*EPISODE 18: FIRST FIGHT AS A MARRIED COUPLE*
---
*MONDAY MORNING. 7:14AM. THE SPARK*
It started over coffee.
Kade made it.
Again.
Didn’t burn it.
Progress.
He set my mug down too hard.
Coffee sloshed over the rim.
Onto the counter.
Onto my notes.
Onto the custody paperwork I’d been up until 2am finishing.
“Careful,” I said.
“I am being careful,” he said back.
Too fast.
Too sharp.
Scout lifted his head from his bed by the door.
Ears up.
Sensed it.
I grabbed paper towels.
“These are due today, Kade. I stayed up for them.”
“And I made you coffee,” he said.
“I didn’t ask for coffee.”
The words left before I could catch them.
Silence.
The bad kind.
The kind that makes Scout whine softly.
Kade grabbed his keys.
“Meeting in 20.”
“Okay.”
Door closed.
No kiss.
---
*MONDAY AFTERNOON. THE QUIET*
He didn’t text.
I didn’t text.
I submitted the paperwork.
Approved.
I should’ve felt relieved.
I didn’t.
At 3pm Thomas called.
“Is everything okay? Kade left the meeting early.”
“What?”
“Said he had a headache. Hasn’t answered since.”
My stomach dropped.
---
*MONDAY EVENING. 6:02PM. HE’S HOME*
Kade came in.
Tired.
Shoulders tight.
Scout ran to him.
Kade knelt.
Buried his face in Scout’s fur for one second.
“Dinner?” I asked.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Kade—”
“I said I’m not hungry.”
He went upstairs.
Lila looked at me.
“Did you guys fight?”
“No, baby.”
Leo: “Yes you did.”
---
*MONDAY NIGHT. 9:40PM. THE TALK*
I found him in the office.
Lights off.
Just laptop glow.
“You left early.”
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t text.”
“I know.”
“Kade, talk to me.”
He finally looked at me.
Eyes red.
“Did I do something wrong this morning? With the coffee?”
“What? No.”
“Because you looked at me like I ruined it.”
“I was stressed about the paperwork.”
“And I made it worse.”
His voice cracked.
“I’m trying so hard to be normal. To be good. To be a husband and a dad. And I spilled coffee. And now you’re mad and I don’t know how to fix it.”
Oh.
Oh, Kade.
I crossed the room.
Knelt on the floor next to him.
“Hey. Look at me.”
He did.
“I wasn’t mad about the coffee. I was mad I was late. I took it out on you. That’s on me. I’m sorry.”
He exhaled.
Like he’d been holding it for 14 hours.
“I thought... I thought you regretted it. Us. This.”
“Never,” I whispered.
“Never. The worst morning in the world is still better with you in it.”
He pulled me into his lap.
Right there on the office floor.
Face in my neck.
“I hate fighting with you.”
“Me too.”
“We suck at it.”
“We do.”
Scout whined from the doorway.
Came in.
Laid across both our feet.
_Group hug, idiots._
---
*MONDAY NIGHT. 11:11PM. MAKE-UP*
We didn’t say “I love you” more.
We showed it.
Kade made tea.
Didn’t spill it.
I told him about the approval.
He actually smiled.
In bed, he reached for my hand under the covers.
Laced our fingers.
“Can we have a safe word? For fights?”
“Yeah?”
“Pancakes.”
I laughed into his shoulder.
“Pancakes it is.”
He kissed my forehead.
“Sorry I was an ass.”
“Sorry I was cold.”
“Truce?”
“Truce.”
Scout sighed from his bed and went to sleep.
---
*TUESDAY MORNING. 7:14AM. ROUND 2*
New coffee.
New mug.
New rule: coasters.
Kade handed it to me with both hands.
Like an offering.
“Good morning,” he said.
Soft.
Careful.
“Good morning,” I said back.
And kissed him.
Right there in the kitchen.
Lila: “Ew.”
Leo: “Finally.”
Scout: _thump thump_
*MONDAY NIGHT. 10:30PM. THE HALLWAY*
I couldn’t sleep.
Kade was on his side of the bed.
Staring at the ceiling.
Three feet of space between us.
Felt like three miles.
Scout was at the foot of the bed.
Going back and forth.
Laying by Kade.
Laying by me.
Sighing.
“Kade?” I whispered.
No answer.
I sat up.
“Kade, please.”
He turned.
Face in the dark.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he said.
“Do what?”
“Be mad and still love you. I’ve never... I’ve never had to be mad at someone and not walk out.”
That broke me.
I crawled across the bed.
Sat next to him.
“I don’t know either,” I admitted.
“My parents fought and someone always left. For days.”
“My ex fought and it was to hurt me.”
“So what do we do?”
“We stay,” I said.
“Even when it sucks. We stay and talk it out.”
He reached for my hand.
Squeezed.
“Staying is hard.”
“I know.”
“But I want to.”
We sat there in silence.
Scout jumped up.
Wedged himself between us.
Like: _problem solved._
Kade huffed a laugh.
“Traitor.”
Scout licked his hand.
---
*MONDAY NIGHT. 11:55PM. THE APOLOGY LETTER*
Kade got up.
Went to the office.
I followed 10 minutes later.
Found him writing.
By hand.
On actual paper.
“What’s that?”
“An apology,” he said.
Not looking up.
“For being cold. For shutting down. For making you feel alone in this.”
He slid it to me.
It was messy.
Crossed out words.
But it said:
I’m sorry I let 5 minutes ruin 5 months.
I’m sorry I forgot that you’re on my team.
I’m not good at this yet.
But I’m good at you.
And I’m not going anywhere.
- K
I cried.
Right there.
Into the paper.
Kade pulled me into his lap again.
“Don’t cry.”
“Can’t help it.”
“You’re so good to me.”
“You’re good to me too.”
We stayed like that until 1am.
---
*TUESDAY. 6:00AM. BEFORE THE KIDS WAKE*
Kade was already up.
In the kitchen.
Not making coffee.
Cleaning.
Wiping the counter.
Where he spilled it.
Washing my mug.
The one I like.
He turned when he heard me.
Looked exhausted.
But softer.
“Morning,” he said.
“Morning.”
“I made pancakes.”
I blinked.
“Pancakes?”
“Safe word pancakes,” he said.
Half smile.
“Thought we should reclaim it.”
He plated two.
Mini ones.
Heart shaped.
Badly.
But heart shaped.
“Did you use a cookie cutter?”
“No. I used love and failure.”
I laughed.
First real laugh in 24 hours.
It felt good.
We ate at the counter.
Just us.
No phones.
No tension.
“Thank you,” I said.
“For what?”
“For staying. For the letter. For pancakes.”
He reached over.
Tucked hair behind my ear.
“Thank you for not giving up on me when I was being stupid.”
---
*TUESDAY. 7:30AM. THE KIDS NOTICE*
Lila came down first.
Saw us.
Saw the pancakes.
Saw Kade’s arm around me.
“Are you guys okay now?”
Kade looked at me.
I nodded.
“Yeah, baby. We’re okay.”
“Good,” she said.
“Because Scout was stressed.”
Leo came down next.
Took one look.
“Pancakes?”
“Pancakes,” Kade said.
“Can Scout have one?”
“Mini one,” I said.
“No syrup.”
Scout got his pancake.
Ate it in 2 seconds.
Sat.
Waited for more.
Kade: “That’s it, bud. That’s all you get.”
Family breakfast.
No one burned anything.
No one yelled.
Just eggs, pancakes, and quiet.
After, Kade walked me to the door.
“Meeting today?”
“Yeah.”
“Text me?”
“Every hour,” he said.
And kissed me.
Properly.
Like Monday never happened.
---
*TUESDAY NIGHT. DEBRIEF*
In bed, lights off.
“Can I ask you something?” Kade said.
“Yeah.”
“How do you fight? Like... healthy?”
I thought about it.
“We use words. Not silence.
We say ‘I feel’ not ‘you always’.
And we remember it’s us vs the problem. Not me vs you.”
He nodded into my hair.
“Okay. Us vs the problem.”
“Us vs the problem,” I echoed.
Scout climbed up.
Laid across our legs.
Heavy.
Warm.
“Pack’s good?” Kade whispered.
“Pack’s good,” I said.
- Writer
