Her secret mate

Was it realy news?

If I had not been sitting right now, I would have collapsed on the floor. The rush of all the emotions was so big that it felt like a huge wave that was washing me away.

My fingers sank into the soft cover under me as I tried my best not to lose control completely.

I am not sure for how long he was calling out for me, but I only heard him when his fingers wrapped around my face.

"Val... baby, please come back to me..."

He whispered over and over as I tried my best to pull myself back to the current moment, to make myself breath properly, but my lungs refused to work, and my mind was resisting,

"Come on Val, I know that you can do it. Just follow my voice."

After a few more moments and a bit more coaxing from Darcy, I finally opened my eyes and saw him staring at me. The calmness in his voice was a complete deception, because I found him staring at me with so much worry in his eyes that I was surprised that he was not shaking me awake.

"Here you go, deep breaths..."

His thumbs were softly massaging my cheeks as I tried to ground myself to the current moment, to his presence next to me.

As I took a few deeper breaths and blinked a few times, he visibly relaxed.

Seeing him like this, so caring... it felt so wrong... everything was so wrong.

Carefully, I lifted my hands and stopped him by pulling his hands away from my face. Instantly he understood that I wanted space, so he moved back and sank on the bed, leaving a big empty space between us.

Silence settled between us again as I tried to sort my thoughts out, but nothing was making any sense.

"So... so you know now?"

He said in a calm tone, without looking at me. At some point, he laid down with his feet on the floor. He was not looking at me, but staring at the ceiling.

"What?"

I whispered back at him, my voice barely loud enough to hear. It looked like the next question was a heavy burden to him.

"The truth... the truth that we are not mates?"

When he whispered that question I could almost feel his words hanging in the room.

I could not force a verbal answer out of my lungs, so I just nodded, not even sure if he could see it or not.

Silence settled between us and my mind kept racing, trying to understand how the hell we ended up here... in this situation.

"How... how long did you know?"

My words, just like his, lingered in the air between. He took his time answering and at one point I even started to doubt that he even heard me, but then he took a deep breath and answered me.

"Probably around my eighteenth birthday... at first I was not sure what was going on, but I thought maybe it would only work once you also turned eighteen..."

He did not say it, but I felt a but lingering at the end and a realization hit me.

"But you met someone and... and you knew that I am not the one."

His answer was only a nod.

At that moment, I felt like my whole world stopped moving.

"When... when did it happen?"

My eyes were closed as pain... pain that I had no right to feel filled my chest.

"A week after my birthday, remember I had to return home for a day."

His voice sounded closer than before, so I knew that he was no longer lying down, but I could not open my eyes to look at him... not yet, everything was too fresh.

"And did... and what happened?"

"Nothing."

My eyes opened instantly and I stared at him confused.

"What do you mean nothing?"

"I mean nothing. I saw her, I felt the pull and done nothing about it."

A part of me wanted to call him a liar, because that was close to impossible... but he had no reason to hurt me.

"Why... why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it's not important."

Shocked at his words, I jumped out of bed.

"What do you mean it's not important? You found a freaking mate, while still being in a relationship with me... while not five minutes ago, proposed to me?"

I was the one pacing the room now. It felt like I was about to explode from all this.

"Because it doesn't matter. My commitment to you did not change, nothing changed."

His words made me freeze as I turned to him sharply, ready to... to scream at him... ready to hit him, because he was not making any sort of sense.

"How can you say that? It means nothing? You found your mate, the perfect person for you... the person that is ment for you, and it is not me... and you say that it doesn't change anything... that it doesn't matter? What the hell, Darcy?"

My words finally hit something, because he got up and stood right in front of me.

"Val, it doesn't matter, because it doesn't change anything, because it can't change anything."

I wanted nothing more than to believe his words, but I myself knew that it was not true... I know how affected I am about Colin.

"Nothing can change, because there is too much at stake in our marriage. There has been too much work... too much invested in our union. So no, nothing can change this, not mates, not us changing out minds... we are stuck."

The colum coldness in his voice sent bad sort of shiver down my back and I felt a bad feeling forming somewhere deep in my chest.

"And... and what does your destined mate think of that?"

I whispered, suddenly very unsure of what the hell had happened.

"She doesn't matter."

"What?"

"She doesn't matter, because she is no longer with us."