The Weight Of Remaining

CHAPTER 15

The walk back to the estate was quiet. Of course Rowan tried to ruin the silence multiple times. For approximately five minutes he kept insisting that surviving the creature had been entirely due to his quick thinking. I was the only one that appreciated his attempt for lightening the mood and eventually even he gave up. We were all too exhausted from the long night.

The city had begun to settle behind us. Guards remained in the streets, helping civilians clear debris and repair what they could before sunrise. The worst of the panic was over. Now came the aftermath. The part nobody talked about. The one where people counted who had made it home.

My shoulder throbbed with every step and I knew it will hurt for a while, but I was pretending not to notice. Unfortunately, Kaiden was pretending to believe me.

All of us walked in tired silence for several minutes. The kind people shared when they had run out of energy for conversation.

The estate gates appeared through the darkness shortly before dawn and they opened as we approached. I was honestly relieved to see them.

Inside, the mansion felt strangely different. The loud voices were gone. There were no card games and laughter. Everything had been replaced by exhaustion. Nobody looked particularly interested in being awake anymore. Rowan even nearly walked into a wall. Twice. The moment we entered the common room, several people immediately headed for the stairs.

“I would like to sleep for a week.” Talia said as she removed her gloves and dropped into the nearest chair.

“Denied,” Elias replied without even looking at her.

Talia groaned.

“See?" Rowan pointed at Elias. "This is why revolutions happen.”

Elias decided to ignore him. His gaze moved across the room, making sure everyone had returned. Only after he seemed satisfied did he speak.

“Get some sleep.” he said with exhaustion in his tone. “We’ll meet after breakfast to discuss what happened tonight.”

A few heads lifted. None of us knew what to expect from the conversation tomorrow. The attack tonight was different, we all knew it. The big monster was nothing like what I've fought before. And judging by everyone's concern, they hadn't either.

“Get some rest.” With that Elias went to his room.

After that people began disappearing upstairs one by one. The team dissolved into exhausted silhouettes and half-finished conversations.

I started walking toward the staircase. My shoulder immediately reminded me it existed.

“You’re limping.” Kaiden's voice sounded behind me.

I froze.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” I said as I turned around to face him.

His gaze dropped briefly to my shoulder and then to my leg. The expression on his face suggested he knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Interesting strategy.”

“What strategy?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Pretending injuries stop existing if you ignore them.”

“Should I be flattered?” I asked. “You keep paying an awful lot of attention to me.”

Kaiden exhaled quietly through his nose. Like someone rapidly losing patience.

“I’d like to keep the number of near-death experiences you have in a single night below three.”

"Don't worry, I'd say I'm pretty hard to kill." I grinned at him.

“Based on tonight’s evidence?” He said with one eyebrow lifted. “I wouldn’t start making that argument.”

“Seriously, I’m fine.”

“Sure.” A faint look of disbelief crossed his face. Then he sighed. The kind of sigh that suggested I was impossible and he had accepted it. “Goodnight, Caelyn.”

“Goodnight.” I said and headed to my room.

For the first time since arriving at the estate, I reached my room without overthinking every decision that had brought me here.

I kicked off my boots and collapsed onto the bed. The mattress felt more comfortable this time. My eyes closed almost immediately. The last thing I remembered before sleep finally claimed me was a strange realization. Two days ago, my only goal was to not be found. Now hiding was no longer an option.

Sleep took me almost instantly. The few hours of sleep I got felt more like I had closed my eyes for just five minutes.

A sharp knock on my door echoed through the room. I groaned and buried my face deeper into the pillow. I already disliked whoever was standing on the other side of the door.

“Caelyn.” Rowan continued knocking with unnecessary enthusiasm.

I considered pretending to be dead.

“Go away.” I groaned.

"I don't think I will" Rowan laughed on the other side of the door. “Come on, It’s time for breakfast.”

“Tell breakfast I died.” I pulled the pillow over my head.

“Already did. We even held a funeral, it was lovely.” Rowan informed me through the door. “Very emotional. Talia cried.”

I sat up with a groan. Every muscle in my body immediately protested. The sleep hadn’t been nearly enough. My shoulder still hurt and my legs felt heavy.

Another knock hit the door.

“Caelyn, If you don’t open the door in the next thirty seconds, I’m coming in.”

I stared at the door, then at the window in my room. For a second I was seriously considering it. Unfortunately, throwing myself out of a second-story window seemed like more effort than getting dressed.

“Okay, okay, I'm coming out!” I shouted as I dragged myself out of bed. Then I got dressed fast and opened the door.

Rowan was leaning against the wall next to my door. His hair was still messy, like he had just gotten out of bed. Other than that he looked entirely too awake for someone who had almost been crushed by a monster six hours ago.

“You’re a terrible person.” I frowned at him.

“I’ve been told.” His grin widened.

“I hate you.” I rubbed my eyes still trying to properly wake up.

“Get in line.” he said as he started walking down the corridor.

By the time we reached the dining room everyone was already there.

“Good morning, sunshines.” Rowan greeted them with admirable energy.

“Lower your voice before I make it a medical emergency.” Talia said after taking another sip from her coffee.

"Charming as always" Rowan winked at her.

A subtle smile appeared on her face as she rolled her eyes at him.

Finn was already eating. He looked exactly the same as he had yesterday. Apparently the lack of sleep didn't bother him.

My gaze drifted around the table. Kaiden was missing. For some reason, that was the first thing I noticed.

“Looking for someone?”

I immediately looked toward Talia. Her grin was deeply suspicious.

“No.” The answer came a little too quickly.

Talia’s expression didn’t change.

I reached for my coffee instead, hoping the conversation would die a swift and painless death. It didn’t.

The grin on her face only widened. Apparently one accidental glance across a room was enough for her to invent an entire story.

Right on cue the door opened and Kaiden stepped inside. His hair was still slightly damp, like he’d already been training. He glanced around the room and his gaze landed on me for half a second. Then as if the universe had decided I hadn’t suffered enough, he took the empty seat beside me.

Across the table, Talia looked entirely too pleased with herself.

I immediately regretted sitting down.

For a few minutes conversation drifted lazily around the table. People talked about patrol routes, repairs, normal things. Normal enough that I almost forgot what had happened last night.

Then the dining room doors opened again. The conversation died immediately as Elias stepped inside.

And all of us started to mentally prepare for the meeting that was about to happen.