Love In The Highcountry

4. Excerpt

Excerpt

Her gaze was so open, so trusting. She believed what she was telling him. He wanted to believe her, wanted to see what she saw, but she was fragile, untouched by the world. An innocent. He didn’t know if he could bring her down into the gritty world he knew existed.

‘The things I’ve seen people do. At first I was horrified. Then it became not so bad. Then … I was doing those things of my free will. To fit in. To become one of them.’

‘You did things you had to do,’ she said evenly. She was so determined to believe the best in him. He needed her to know what he really was. What he’d become.

‘I am one of them. The only difference is that I have a badge.’

Her features hardened. To his surprise, she became angry.

‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You did something you had to do, to stop worse things happening. There’s a line you won’t cross.’

‘The line’s very, very blurry. I almost can’t see it anymore.’

‘What I see is good. What I see is a man who’s spent a long time waging an absurd internal war. Who’s given so much, there isn’t anything left to take. A man who’s given himself totally to a job that saves others.’

‘It’s a dangerous job. A job that will kill you.’ He levelled a bright, unwavering gaze at her.

A shudder stole through her. ‘That’s why you don’t get close to anyone. You’re afraid.’

‘Fear has nothing to do with it. I’m trying to tell you people like me die young.’

‘People like you have a lot to live for. You’ve forgotten to see the good in yourself,’ Eden said.

‘People don’t give a damn about the likes of me. It’s not worth getting hurt over. I’ll only leave you one way or another.’

‘Die or leave. Don’t feel anything because it will save me in the long run. Is that what you’re trying to say? Well, that decision is not yours to make. It’s mine and I know what I choose.’

‘Why do you care so much?’ He cupped her cheek with his palm, staring at her. Her cheeks were flushed pink. Her face resonated passion.

He realized she only looked at him like that because she… cared. About him. He’d never experienced what it was like to have someone mad at him. Not like this. Not in this kind of way. The kind that cared so much that he was safe and protected and well and loved.

He almost sagged as the weight of a mountain lifted from his shoulders. He tilted his head back and filled his lungs with a deep, fresh breath. The first breath that didn’t feel tarnished. He filled his lungs with lightness. With hope.

His lips twitched, pulled into a smile.

‘You think this is funny?’ She went to pull back, but he didn’t let her. He just held her, smiling into her face.

Anger disappeared as her brows pulled together. Her mouth fell open, but she was speechless. She dropped her gaze, but in moments her eyes returned to his. There was hesitation, bewilderment and hope.

Suddenly, the world had ceased to become as desolate as it was moments ago. It had been a long time since he’d felt this good.

‘No. I don’t think this is funny. I think… I think you are … an angel.’

***Adam pressed his lips into the palm of her hand. He pulled her arm closer and trailed his lips over her hand to her wrist. He pressed his mouth to her skin, firmer than before, his tongue swirling to taste her. Delicate goose bumps scattered across her skin and she shivered with the delicious sensation. She was lost to all but the manipulations of his mouth and tongue. A shivery breath worked into her lungs as she watched him kiss her wrist.

She couldn’t move. Was spellbound to all but him and what he was doing to her. Sensations erupted and stoked a burning vortex of need and want. Still, she fought to quench those same driving needs before she succumbed to the temptation of complete abandonment.

She couldn’t take another rejection. If she took that final step, she would open herself up to agony. With the deepest regret, she took her hands from his grasp, placed them in her lap and ignored the pain that entered his eyes. She took a steadying breath, closed her eyes and blinked back the intense heat that burned behind her lids.

‘Adam. I’m sorry. I can’t do this. Not now. I don’t think I can … ever.’