Tomorrow Lost

Four: Blue in the Night

I had forgot the sensation of laying on a mattress. A real mattress. The one they had at the facility was hard and stiff and definitely not meant for an actual person to sleep on. After years of sleeping on it, I had grown used to the discomfort. In fact, I really had completely forgotten that mattresses weren’t supposed to feel like that.

This one… this one was wonderful.

My body sunk into it. It didn’t feel like a rock.

Wonderful.

I rolled over, pulling the covers over me--covers! The thin fabric scratched against my bare legs but I didn’t mind in the slightest.

We had been in the car for what seemed like forever, but Myra finally pulled aside during the night—or early morning—and brought us to a motel. It was dingy. And the woman running it was not a Stranger, but she seemed to know Myra. Yet, there was some silent tacit understanding that this place was safe. She must have been a rebel. At first I thought she was under Reed’s mind control, but her eyes were clear and she spoke normally.

We split up into two rooms. Myra and Thomas got their own. Ricki and Reed were with me, and they felt like guards. But, Reed had gone over to their room to discuss and hadn’t come back since. Ricki said he’d be back soon before she disappeared into the bathroom.

“Get out of the bed, you’re f*****g dirty,” a disgruntled voice spoke.

I peaked my head out from under the sheets, seeing Ricki standing at the front of the bed with her arms crossed over her chest. She had changed from her earlier outfit and was wearing comfortable sleepwear.

“Take a shower.”

“Oh.” I sat up, the mattress creaking with my sudden movement. “Sorry.”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you know how to work a shower?”

I stayed silent. Right. I would have to bathe on my own. I was used to being stripped naked in front of everyone and washed down with a hose because no one dared to get close to me. It felt like a car wash. But, I still knew how to take a shower. Some things just didn’t leave me. “Yeah.”

Ricki looked at me oddly. “Well, just scream if you need help,” she told me finally with a toothy grin. “I put some new clothes in there for you.”

“Okay.” I climbed out of the bed and swiftly headed over to the bathroom which was directly across from the bed. I closed the door behind me, resting my back against the wood.

The bathroom… looked like a bathroom. In the facility, I had something similar to a toilet in the corner of my room. It made me feel like a cat that needed a litter box. But in this one, there was the standard: a shower-tub combination, toilet, sink and mirror.

I moved forward until I stood in front of the mirror, staring back at my reflection. I hadn’t seen myself in, well, over a decade. There were the images in reflections on shiny objects or glass, but they were never clear, so I didn’t know what I looked like anymore.

The girl in the mirror wasn’t what I had been expecting. I wasn’t convinced that she was me. I reached up and touched her cheek, which was pale and gaunt. Her eyes were a bluish gray, but there was no vigor in them that would indicate she was even alive. The dark and deep bruises underneath her eyelids made her appear even more deathly. From the pallor of her skin, it was clear that she was malnourished, too. If it weren’t for the weak rise and fall of her chest, I would have been sure I was staring at a corpse.

I lifted my hand, running it over the rough, platinum blonde hair that was sprouting from her--my head. When I was a child, it had been long and silky, swinging down at my hips. Now, it was beginning to grow back out of its buzz cut and was at an awkward length. I’d be due for a trim by now, usually.

I stripped myself of clothes, just staring back at the person that looked at me. She was thin, mostly comprised of skin and bone. There was some muscle and fat on her body, but it wasn’t enough to give any semblance of good health. She was dirty, too. There was a layer of dirt, blood, and whatever else on her skin and there had been more on the clothes I removed. Was this truly me? I had known that I was thin, but seeing it portrayed to me back in this way was… a lot.

My fingers slid down to the small jewel that protrude from my chest, resting in the space between my collarbone and breasts. Mine was black and shiny like oil. When light hit it, shades of red could be seen. I rubbed the tip of my finger against the hard and smooth surface. Despite the warmth from the rest of my body, this area was cold. I remember a technician had braved themselves and tried to touch it and wound up having their fingers frozen. Frostbite, I think. And even though I could feel the chill, it was not enough to harm me like that. From some of the knowledge I received from Reed, I now knew that this was a defensive mechanism. It didn’t matter how it manifested, but if anyone tried to touch a Stranger’s gem, there would be dangerous repercussions.

“Are you okay in there?” A knock came at the door. “Do you need help?”

My hands fell down to my side. “No… sorry, I zoned out. I’m fine.”

“All right.”

I moved to twist the temperature knobs inside of the shower. The showerhead sputtered a few times before spurting out a steady stream of icy water. I didn’t bother to wait for the temperature to warm and stepped inside of the slippery tub. Bracing my arms on the wall, I sat there as the warming water rained down on me, working away at all of the grime.

It didn’t take me long to realize that I was crying. That seemed to be the common factor for today. I really was not a crybaby. Even when I had first been brought to the facility, I had not cried. Even when Skylar fell, no tears did.

Yet, today—here I was, bawling in the shower.

Maybe it was just the culmination of everything. And it was all falling down on me. Laura, life in the facility, the incident, the rebels… everything.

I covered my mouth, holding back the sounds that threatened to escape me. I didn’t want Ricki knocking on the door again.

It was strange to think this was my reality. And it wasn’t just some illusion. All of this was really happening to me. I threw my head back, the now steaming hot water scalding my face. I began to scrub at my body, feeling the layers of dirtiness loosen and fall off. The skin underneath turned pink and raw as I continued to scrub, ignoring the dull pangs of pain.

The tears were blurring my vision.

Why was I so dirty? There was a thick coating of filth on me that just wouldn’t go away.

I remembered how the white ash drifted down. I had held out my hand to catch some, thinking it was snow. To my surprise, it didn’t melt from the warmth of my palm. I had turned around a few times, wondering where everyone else was at in that white, ash-covered wonderland… better yet, hellscape. I kept turning and turning in panic circles before I fainted once again. When I woke up, everything had changed. I could never go back to the world before the fall.

I fell down to the shower floor, bundling myself up tightly and allowing the tears to continue making their way down my face. I wanted to tell everyone that I was sorry. Sorry that I killed them. Sorry that I didn’t even remember doing it. I didn’t know how it happened, but it didn’t matter because that wouldn’t change anything. Mrs. Weiss’ garden was gone.

And nothing could ever be the same.

I dressed in the clothing Ricki had set aside for me in the bathroom. The underwear was still rolled in its packing with tags attached and when I put it on the bra fit awkwardly, but it wasn’t horrible. There was a pair of sweatpants and a sweater that I also donned. I was quite tall so the sweatpants ended an inch above my ankles, and my body was too skinny so they couldn’t fit properly and kept falling; I tightened them the best that I could. As for the sweater, it engulfed my entire body and felt awfully heavy.

But when I saw myself in the mirror I was satisfied because the mass of baggy fabric completely masked my figure. If it weren’t for my face, I’d almost look normal. And, because of the heat of the shower, some color had returned to my face. I pinched my thin cheeks and let out a tight breath of air.

My eyes were red and swollen from crying, but with the overall state of my face, I didn’t believe that it was too noticeable.

After what must have been a long time, I exited the bathroom.

Reed had returned and was sitting on the edge bed with Ricki. Their foreheads were pressed against each other, and their eyes were closed. I would have mistaken their actions for intimacy if it weren’t for the strange humming and crackling in the air. The lights in the bedroom continued to flicker on and off.

My body felt very odd, like someone had inflated my joins with air, and I almost collapsed to the ground. Without willing it to, my mental field suddenly expanded and overwhelming sensory data began to flow into my mind. Sharp pain assaulted me, but the expansion didn’t stop.

I let out a cry of pain and fell to the floor while clutching my head. I tried to restrain my powers, but it wasn’t working. It just kept growing and growing.

Within a few seconds, my field had encompassed easily over a dozen miles. And it showed no signs of stopping soon. I sensed that the boundary of Reed’s was coming up soon, and I wondered if I was going to surpass even that. I truly hoped not.

The town we had stopped in was not very populated, but there were still a couple hundred people living here. And now, every single thought and intention they had was blasting loudly in my mind. I curled up on the ground, mouth moving like a fish out of water.

James had forgotten to buy the eggs so now I couldn’t cook dinner.

Alyssa couldn’t have had s*x already--she was only fifteen!

And where were my glasses?

Who put that there!

Why is Mark still talking right now?

Great, now I have to go back downstairs.

Is this dress appropriate to wear to dinner?

Who the f**k was playing music that loudly?

Would this type of stain come out?

Did my period seriously start already?

Where was Brady? He was supposed to call by now.

God, I have to go to the bathroom so badly…

How do you clear this level?

Thoughts that weren’t mind flooded my mind. Most of them weren’t coherent, breaking off into different topics or abruptly ending. All I knew that was filtering them felt impossible and the feeling that my brain was ready to burst was growing more and more intense.

My mouth twisted open in a silent scream as the pain reached its maximum. Black spots swarmed my vision, soon dominating all that I could see. Voices began whispering into my ear, coupling with the torrent of thoughts. I didn’t understand what they were saying, but I felt as if I should have. It was something important.

One voice, far louder and powerful than the rest, roared into my ears. It was full of rage and grief. The words it spoke didn’t sound like any recognizable language, but yet, I understood clearly.

Everything burst.

Cold. The world felt very cold. The type of chill that permeated all the way down to your bones. Faced with this chill, vicious shivers ripped through my body, and my teeth clattered.

Despite the freezing temperature, I came to notice three things:

The pain was gone.

I was no longer in the hotel room.

And I was moving.

I darted upwards when I realized these things. My vision was blurry, slowly adjusting to all the shapes before me. I turned my head to the side, feeling bones in my body cracking along with the action.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty’s up,” Ricki’s voice entered my ears.

I blinked my eyes a few times and waited for the fuzziness to go away. “What’s going on? Where are we?” I spoke, my voice ringing loudly in my ears. I raised my hand to touch my head. It was very light. It was an odd sensation because I normally felt some type of pain. It was rare that I was devoid of it.

“We’re on the way to the base,” Ricki answered. “We’ll be there in another hour.”

“Oh.” I blinked a few more times. I glanced around, seeing that we were back in the van, and I had been tossed into the backseat. Everyone’s eyes were on me, and Reed’s gaze was especially penetrating.

Thea.

I fell back onto the seat, feeling far more comfortable when I was laying down. Hello, I answered Reed.

Are you feeling all right?

“I’m fine,” I responded aloud, sensing it was the question on everyone’s mind. “I feel good, actually.”

Ricki stared at me--she didn’t believe me. I shifted my eyes over to Reed and knew that he didn’t believe me either. No one did.

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. What was going on now? Even though I wasn’t trying to, I could feel their emotions being conveyed to me. It wasn’t strong, but I could vaguely sense it. This was new. It didn’t cause me any pain either like it usually did when I received multiple inputs. I felt… normal.

Even Reed, who had been completely unreadable before wasn’t the exception to this. I was even able to feel how far his mental field extended without using my own.

Reed.

Yes?

Something’s changed with me.

He was silent for a moment. Why do you say that?

My mental powers are more potent than before. I can… sense things. Everything feels very clear, too. I don’t know. It’s all different.

You’re empathic?

Uh, I guess so.

I see. Don’t worry about it. It must mean that your powers are growing. That’s good news.

Okay…

I curled up in the backseat, only focusing on the shaking of the car. The rest of the ride was mostly filled with silence. Boredom soon took over me. I was used to sitting alone for hours, though, so I had slowly changed my position so that I was staring out the window.

Watching the scenery pass by was still far more entertaining than the white room. Snow had started falling again, painting the world in its color. I smiled a little, resting my forehead against the cold window.

As a child, I had loved the wintertime. I liked how it was both cold and warm. And hot chocolate. Sweaters, blankets, scarves… all of that. I hadn’t experienced anything like that in a long time, obviously. But the memories were nice. Better than the rest.

The car rolled to a stop.

“We’re here,” Myra announced.

I c****d my head to the side and stared out the window. Here…? There was nothing except trees. We were parked next to the edge of the forest. Everyone began climbing out of the car anyway, none of them seeming confused by any of this.

“Get out of the car,” Ricki commanded impatiently. “Before someone sees us.”

“Oh. Right.”

Once we were gathered outside of the car, Thomas made an odd gesture with his hands. An invisible force slammed down, crushing the the vehicle flatly like a soda can. Thomas moved his hands again, and the car was flattened horizontally as well. In a matter of a couple seconds, the once large van had been condensed into a metal cube.

“You’re telekinetic?” I asked, watching as said cube began to drift over towards us and into Thomas’ hand.

“No.”

He turned around, and we all headed into the forest. I took this to mean that he had no intention of telling me what his ability was, which was fine, because I didn’t care that much.

I couldn’t recall the last time that I had been inside of the forest, but I found that it was rather beautiful. It was sunset, so, as we walked, the sun peeked through the foliage and mottled the ground with dark spots and golden pools of light. There was a layer of snow on the ground, too, making the light sparkle.

My neck didn’t stop moving as I kept turning my head back and forth to take in all of my surroundings. The air here was fresh and crisp so everyone lungful felt refreshing. I decided that I liked this place very much. As I was admiring the scenery, I wound up running into Reed’s back because I didn’t notice that they had stopped moving.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“It’s fine.”

Reed stepped to the side and allowed me to take the spot next to him. When I did so, I saw that Myra had crouched to the ground and was uncovering something hidden under the snow and dirt. Her movements were swift, so it didn’t take long for the metal to be revealed.

I watched with growing interest as she placed her hand down to the left side of the metal plate, and it began to slide open, revealing a dark abyss. My eyes grew wide. A secret entrance?

Waves of contentedness and happiness washed over me. I glanced at the others, knowing that these feelings belonged to them.

“Welcome to our Sanctuary,” Myra said a bit breathlessly. “There’s a ladder, step carefully.” Without another word, she jumped down into the darkness.

Thomas and Ricki followed suit and also disappeared.

If there was supposedly a ladder… why were none of them using it?

I frowned then looked at Reed, who smiled encouragingly at me. “You go ahead first, I’ll be right behind you.”

Moving over to the entrance, I was able to see the vague silhouette of the ladder as some light reflected off of it. With a strange feeling in my heart, I began to climb down it. Due to the temperature, it was very cold to the touch and my grip didn’t seem very steady. As I descended, there were tickles of anxiety because I didn’t know how far down I was even going.

But Reed was only a few rungs away from me, so I didn’t find myself feeling too discombobulated. And, after what felt like a considerably long time, my foot finally hit solid flooring.

I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped away from the ladder and took in my new surroundings… We had gone down to a long, skinny hallway with only some sparse lighting throughout. Since we were underground, the walls and everything else were made from dirt and rock. It looked similar to a mine shaft, actually.

Myra and the others were gathered at the bottom of the ladder, too, obviously waiting on Reed and me to arrive. Knowing that I had moved a bit slow, a bit of embarrassment flamed up.

“Let’s go.” Myra simply nodded at me and kept it moving. She began to explain, “Sanctuary is our headquarters. Only our most trusted members are allowed in.”

Hearing her emphasis made me feel awkward. Was she trying to call me out? I didn’t ask to be taken here. I paused then read her emotions, not sensing anything negative coming from her.

“We have plenty of other bases, but Sanctuary can be considered the most secure. And, like I said, not many of the others are allowed in. Nor do they know of its location.”

“Right,” I agreed, not knowing what else I was supposed to do.

“Everyone has their own sense of pride and loyalty here, Thea. Pull any of the s**t that you tried in the car and there will be problems.” She didn’t turn to face me, but her tone grew more serious. “If you put anyone’s life in danger like that again, I will use any means necessary to take care of you. Get it?”

I clenched my fists tightly. I felt that her necessary means would not be very fun for me. And it wasn’t like I wanted anyone to get hurt! I just… I just wanted… I wasn’t sure what I wanted. This realization left me numb. What was it that I wanted?

“Get it?” Myra repeated, stronger this time.

My attention was pulled back to the matter at hand. “Got it. And… I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to jeopardize anyone.”

“Actions speak louder than words,” was all Myra said in response.

A light touch brushed against my shoulder. Through the corner of my eye, I saw that the hand belonged to Reed.

It’ll be all right.

I think she doesn’t like me.

If she didn’t like you, Myra would have killed you already.

I swallowed at this. She just kills someone if she doesn’t like them?

Better them than her. Don’t worry about it. She’s gotten less… murder-y lately.

My eyes focused in on the tall, strong figure of the woman walking in front of all of us. Maybe… maybe I was a little bit scared of her. This was because I knew that she was not lying and was, in fact, very serious.

I licked my dry lips nervously, coming to understand that I was treading on thin ice with Myra. She wanted me to aid the rebel cause. But, if I did more harm than good, why would she keep me around?

My short nails scratched at my palms as we continued our way down the dimly lit corridor. Myra didn’t speak anymore after that, either, so the usual silence had descended upon on all of us again.

Out of curiosity, I asked, “Why is this pathway so long?”

“If someone ever infiltrates, it gives us enough time to react. Even if they run, it’ll take them a few minutes to get to the main center. Plus, it creates a bottleneck. There’s only one entrance, and it doubles as an exit. If they come in, they’re trapped,” Thomas answered. “It’s simple but effective.”

“Oh… have you ever had a break-in?”

He sniggered. “No. There aren’t many that’d be ballsy enough to raid this place even if they knew its location.”

“Why’s that?”

Ricki responded before Thomas could, “They’d get their ass beat. All the members here are part of the core. The lowest level Stranger here would be at level eight. And one level eight can do enough damage.”

“Level eight?” I echoed.

“Danger ratings. The government issued them a while back. You were in confinement by then, though,” Ricki said. “Scale of one to ten. One being the lowest and ten being the highest.”

“Oh… what level are you guys, then?”

A toothy smirk formed on her face. “We’re all level ten.” She laughed. “The rankings aren’t entirely incorrect but they certainly aren’t correct, either. The humans don’t understand our powers and they never will.”

I couldn’t help but to agree with her statement. How could they understand us when we barely understood ourselves? It was our own bodies that remained to be the greatest mysteries. Strangers were born naturally stronger than humans, faster, better senses--not to mention our superpowers. No one knew why or how it happened; it just did. And, frankly, nothing could change the fact.

But, since the humans were scared of us, they desperately tried to make sense of our existences. They tried to classify us, label us, the whole nine yards. And they were still afraid.

I twisted my lips and gazed down at the ground.

Suddenly, the sound of hurried footsteps entered my ears. Along with that, the elated emotions of the approaching person were conveyed clearly to me. I blinked a few times as a white figure dashed towards us, then tackled Myra.

“Myra, you’re safe!” a lovely and sweet voice cried out. “I was so worried.”

To my even greater surprise, Myra returned the hug to the person that had jumped on her. “Yes, we’re back safely, Mallory.” Unlike usually, when she spoke, her tone was full of warmth and affection.

The girl detached herself from Myra and stepped to the side, allowing me to see her. She was thirteen, maybe even twelve. Her hair was blonde, curly, and went down all the way to her hips. She was rather petite, too, standing a good head shorter than everyone else. Mallory was dressed in a white gown that went down to her knees (Wasn’t she cold?) and looked like a sprite from a fairytale. “Is this her?” Her eyes, which were the purest shade of green I had even seen, focused in on mine. There was some strange energy emitted by her eyes also and it made me feel a bit fuzzy but revitalized.

“Yes--”

“Wow!” Mallory darted forward, her hands outstretched as if she wanted to grab hold of mine.

Anxiety seized me and I took a step back just as Reed moved to the side and intercepted Mallory.

“Don’t touch her,” he chastised Mallory lightly. “Haven’t we told you about that?”

The young girl pouted her red lips. “Sorry…” Mallory looked at me once more then let out a sigh. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Er, it’s fine.” She was staring at me like a wounded puppy, so I didn’t want to drag this ordeal out. It wasn’t a big deal in the first place. I had just been shocked when she tried to grab me. Though, I did wonder why Reed had quickly stopped her and scolded her. “I’m Thea.”

She smiled prettily. “Nice to meet you, Thea!”

I nodded my head politely at her, attempting to return her smile.

Mallory giggled at me and then skipped back over to Myra, interlacing their fingers together. A faint, green glow began to emit from their hands. I didn’t know what it was, but a dull sense of apprehension spread through my body the longer that I stared at it. I felt my mind growing light. I shifted my eyes away immediately, noting to myself that Mallory was more dangerous than she seemed.

After twenty or so minutes of walking, we finally exited the seemingly endless tunnel. It had opened up into a domed ceiling clearing that was shaped in a circle. There were other tunnels along the perimeter of the area which indicated that there was even more. But, what drew my surprise wasn’t that. It was the sheer amount of Strangers.

In my entire life, I hadn’t seen more than maybe ten or so Strangers all in the same area. Back when we were younger, it was easier for them to control us, but we were still too much if we gathered in large groupings.

But, here, there was easily at least fifty Strangers milling about. Whether they were entering or leaving through the tunnels or sitting at the benches situated throughout the main area. There were even vendors selling goods that people were gathered around.

A multitude of emotions enveloped me, giving my body a feeling of warmth even though I knew it wasn’t real. It was all peaceful. There were some curious stares directed in our direction; everyone obviously wondering who I was, but nobody seemed particularly aggrieved.

Then, another powerful force of emotion came hurtling at me. It was a large mixture of feelings: regret, guilt, happiness, love, anger, sadness… all at once. Complete catastrophe. I raised my hand to touch my head at this, not liking the tumultuous sensation. I cast my gaze around, trying to discern the source.

There was one person staring at us intently, her hands tightly clenched at her sides. Our eyes met. Hers were rimmed with red, and her lips were trembling.

Her face was one I would know even in death. Almond-shaped eyes the color of honey, a pert, button nose… the mole located right below her left eye. The stray, springy curls that fell in front of her face no matter how hard she tried to push them back. Everything about her, I knew it—or at least, I thought I had… I had spent a while memorizing her features. Back then, she hadn’t been second to anyone in my heart. How could she be? I thought that she was the only one that would ever matter.

Skylar.

The first Stranger I met after the incident.

The one to put me back together then broke me more savagely than before.

That Skylar.

The Skylar that I had watched die with my own eyes.