Youngblood

Chapter 11

Melina

            I was lying in bed reading a magazine.  I was reading an interview of Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s marriage. I didn’t notice Thaddeus walk into the room.  Who the hell cheats on Beyoncé?  I thought turning the page.  That’s when he snatched the magazine out my hands.

 “Really?”  I said as he kissed me.  “Hello baby.”  He pulled me under him intensifying my annoyance.  “Thaddeus, I’m not in the mood.”  He pulled my night gown up and pulled my panties off.  “I’ll get you in the mood.”  He said smiling at me as he disappeared in between my legs. 

After all these years of marriage he could not satisfy me at all, let alone turn me on.  He never listened to my body.  He only did what worked for his other women in the past.  Therefore, I cheated on him.  This was also how I fell in love with Randy. He was the man who made Melina Johnson.

 I missed him so much.  He made me feel like I was the only other person on earth with him.  The only reason I stayed with Thaddeus was to cover up my relationship with Randy.  I knew people wouldn’t understand us being together.  Hell, I had just turned fourteen when I met him and ended up pregnant shortly after.

 I met him and Thaddeus around the same time and wasn’t really feeling Thaddeus.  From the start his only role was to protect the love of my life. I guess when you treat someone so badly it makes them love you even more. 

When I became pregnant with Malik, the first person I told was his father, Randy.  He told me no matter what he got me, and I got him.  The world will never understand us, so I needed to make it look like our child was Thaddeus’s.  So, I helped him keep us a secret.

He told me what to do and how to do it and that resulted with me sleeping with Thaddeus for the first time. 

As far as he was concerned, I became pregnant shortly after that. He believes whole heartily Malik is his and I let him believe so.  In our entire relationship, which has expanded over the last ten years, I have only slept with him maybe ten times and every time I absolutely hated it.  Each time is worse than the last. Over the years, I grew sexually frustrated to the point I just totally zoned out during s*x with him. 

I wish I hadn’t gotten mad at Malik’s first birthday at Randy.  I feel like I killed him. I wanted him to come to Malik’s birthday party and he said, “No.”  I told him if he didn’t come to his son’s birthday party, he and I would no longer be together.  He told me he and I were over and not to call or speak to him again and he left to go handle some business.  Neither one of us knew my dad, Marvin was home and heard us arguing.

My dad came to me and asked me what was going on with us and I told him everything.  This was one of the conversations I regretted.  About a month later Randy was dead.  I tried not to show my heartache over the years.  Everyone who knew about me and Randy were dead.  I just wanted him back. 

            Yes, Thaddeus was a good man.  He took care of not only me and my son but my brothers too. I loved him but he was not Randy.  That fight Randy and I had was the only one we had ever had.  He seemed to do everything right.  I didn’t have to fight with him about money.  If I asked, he gave it to me.  But most of the time I didn’t have to ask he just gave it to me.  And the s*x was so incredible.  We had s*x everyday multiple times. 

            After a while I caught myself staring up at the ceiling.  I looked beside me at Thaddeus who was asleep. 

Thank God!  I thought jumping up.  I walked over to my recliner by the window and sat down.  I stared out the window at the swaying dark trees as I thought about the love of my life.  I closed my eyes and remembered how good his hands felt on my body.  The thought of him touching me sent chills everywhere. 

            I clearly remembered the intensity of his kisses which made me shiver with lust.  I felt his ghostly presence take over my body.  I had no control over my body anymore.  I sat there in my lustful trance as my fingers found their moist grave.  My legs flung on the arms of the chair allowing my fingers to dig deeper in my ecstasy.  Remembering how he kissed me made me shiver and rock my hips harder against my fingers.  My other hand engraved into the arm of the chair with my legs as all of my frustrations burst against my fingers.  I sat there for a while too weak to move. 

After a while I finally got up and took a shower.  I then returned to my bed with my sleeping husband.  I lay next to him dreaming about the love of my life that was taken way too soon.