Youngblood

Chapter 17

A week later.....

Traci

            I was now home with Tyrel.  My family was here with me visiting and helping me out.  "Where's Rachel?"  Charlene asked as she and Maryah played with her new doll.  "Work."  She didn't need to work. She just chose to.  "I heard she almost drowned."  Momma said.  "I'm really worried about her."  I smiled.  "I'm not anymore.  I know she's going to be okay.  It'll take a little time, but she'll get there."  "It's been three years."  Thomas added.  "I know. Let her grieve."  "Yeah, but, what about this baby?"  Doris asked looking at Maryah.  "She's fine."  I reassured her.  “Maybe she should move back home.”  I looked at Mom.  “Momma she’s fine.  Please don’t try and make her come back home.  That might backfire.  I have faith in her.  She’s going to be okay, her and Maryah.  We need each other.”

 “Traci, we’ve all tried to be there for you.  You won’t tell us what you’ve been through.  The only reason we knew you were in California is because of that ticket that got sent to me.  I know you two have been through a lot because you two cling to each other like you can’t breathe without one another.”  “Mommy, we can’t.  That’s why she needs to stay here.  I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.”  “What happened in California that was so bad, it nearly destroyed my girls?” 

I looked around at everyone as they stared at me.  My eyes stopped on Maryah.  She was sitting in Charlene’s lap, looking at me through her father’s sad eyes.  “She didn’t just loose her father in California.”  I said gesturing towards Maryah.  “She had two brothers she also lost.”  I looked around as every jaw dropped in the room.  Maryah walked out on the porch and sat down.  “Are you telling me she had two babies that died out there?”  Mom asked.  I nodded my head.  It was silent for a moment.  I looked at Maryah as she sat outside staring into space.      

 My poor sweet baby, I thought watching her.  “How old were they?”  Mom managed trying to hold back her tears.  “Five, when they died.”  I answered.  “They were twins?”  Thomas asked. 

I felt my tears forming.  I was trying to hold them back.  I couldn’t speak, or they’d erupt, so I nodded my head. The room was filled with shock and sadness.  I held my son tighter to me to comfort my soul.  “What were their names?”  Charlene asked.

 I tried to speak and couldn’t. “Their names were Robi and Roni.”  Kenny answered stepping into the room.  Everyone focused their attention on him.  “Robi was older by a couple of minutes.  They were identical.”  He pulled out his phone and strolled through it.  I watched him hand the phone over to Mom making everyone crowd around it.  I glanced at the picture.

  It was of Robi, Roni, Rachel, and Mario.  It was taken a couple of days before Robi died, by me.  Rachel and Mario were asleep on the couch.  Robi was kissing Rachel and Roni was laughing at them.  I was going to erase it but, Robi died, then Roni, then Mario.  It was the only picture I had with all four of them, together. I looked at Mom as I watched her tears explode. My tears erupted as well as my Moms.  “They’re so beautiful.”  She managed as she smiled.  I nodded my head unable to speak.  “He’s fine too.”  Charlene said making us laugh.  “They looked so peaceful together.”  Doris added.  “They were so happy.”  I managed trying to stop crying.  “How’d they die?”  Chris asked.  “They were shot.  Robi was shot in the chest, Roni in the neck, Mario in the head.”  I felt Kenny put his arms around me as I tried to calm down.  “Rachel has more pictures. Would you like to see them?”  I asked Momma as she wiped away her tears.  “I’d love to.”   

Cameron

I was wondering the mall.  Ever since Rachel almost drowned, I just felt the need to be closer to her.  I had been watching her all day interact with people as if nothing happened.  When she was by herself, she drifted back into her sadness.  I watched her refold the display table for a moment before walking over to her.

 "Stalking's against the law."  She said making me laugh.  "I thought you were in Puerto Rico, anyways."  "I was, now I’m back."  I said smiling at her. She returned her attention back to the clothes.  "What do you want?" She asked without looking up.  "How are you feeling?"  "Wonderful and you?"  "I'm okay."  "Then why are you here?"  "Wanted to see you?"  "Why?"

            Dam you cold, I thought smiling at her.  "I wanted to hang out with you.  When do you get off?"  "No."  "Why?"  "'Cause, I have a hot date, tonight, with my lover."  She looked up at me.  "Sorry."  She walked away leaving me there disappointed.

            Her lover?  I thought watching her talk to her coworker.  Oh, she must mean Maryah.  I looked at her and smiled as she glanced at me.  “I’ll see you and Maryah later then.”  She shot her middle finger at me making me laugh.

            A few hours later, I had arrived at Kenny's house with Tasha. It looked like a party was going on.  Tasha ran ahead into the house.  As I stepped on the steps, I saw the most beautiful, saddest three-year-old you could ever see.  "You look so sad.  What's wrong?"  I asked kneeling in front of her.  She looked up at me through her enormous, glassy, dark brown, eyes.  "Mommy said don't talk to strangers."  I smiled at her.

She was so Rachel’s daughter.

"Your mommy's right.  My name is Cameron."  I said holding out my hand to her.  She looked at my hand, then me with her mother’s attitude.  "My name is Maryah.  I'm three years old."  She said shaking my hand as I laughed.

“So, we’re not strangers anymore.”  I said sitting next to her.  “What’s wrong?”  “Everybody has a daddy but me.  I want my daddy and brothers here with me.  I try to be good, so God   will give them back.  Am I still being bad?” 

I smiled at her.  "No, you’re not.  He didn't take them because you were bad.  I don't like you thinking that either."  "I don't deserve my daddy and brothers?"  "Of course, you do."  "How come they're not here?" 

I watched the tear fall from her eye.  I looked at the trees in the yard, as they swayed in the wind.  "You see those trees?"  She nodded her head.  "Do you see how the leaves are falling off?"  She nodded her head again.  "There's nothing you or I can do to stop those leaves from falling.  It's doing what it's supposed to do, you can't stop it.  That's how death is.  It was just their time.  There's nothing we could have done to stop it.  Everything happens for a reason.  You just have to deal with stuff as it comes.  Sometimes when I really miss my sister, I talk to her like she's here with me."  "They don't talk back to me."  She said breaking down crying. 

I picked her up and engulfed her in my arms in attempt to rid her of her heart ache.  I didn’t want her to hurt like she was hurting but what could I do?

Traci

            I was ease dropping at the front door and my tears were uncontrollably streaming down my face.  I felt her heartache.  And was so sorry she did not get to meet her brothers or their father.  That was a loss that no matter what we did could never be replaced.

 "That frustrates me too.  Then you know that chill you get down your spine?"  She nodded her head unable to speak.  "That's their way of talking back to you."  "I feel it now."  "See, they're always with you, no matter what." 

I looked at Rachel's charger as it pulled up in the driveway.  Oh s**t, I thought watching her get out the car.  What do I do?  I thought watching her step on the porch.  She glanced at Cameron and Maryah and froze.  Before either one of them noticed her, I pulled her inside.  "Rachel, please don't trip.  Let them be."  "Let them be?"  "Rachel, trust me, let them be.  Calm down."  She looked at Cameron and almost snapped when he kissed her again.  "It's going to be okay, I promise."  He said as she calmed down.  I quickly filled her in as we stood there watching them.

 "Hey, you know what makes me feel better when I'm sad?"  He asked after a while.  "What?"  She asked as he wiped her tears away.  "Ice cream."  We all listened to the ice cream truck in the distance.  Her eyes grew wide, and a huge, beautiful smile crossed her face.  "We'll get the biggest one they got."  "Okay!"  He finished wiping her tears away.

            I smiled as I watched them take each other's hands and jog off the porch.  I watched Maryah laugh and play around with him at the ice cream truck.  "Rachel,” I said smiling at her.  "What?"  "That is real and genuine and beautiful.  Look at that."  I said smiling at them.  I've never seen her happy with someone outside of me and Kenny.

            We stood there watching them in their own little world.

            I looked at Kenny as he looked up from Kelis to Maryah and Cameron as they sat at the patio table eating ice cream and chattering away like two lost friends.  He looked at us and laughed.  I smiled as I waved him away.  He shook his head as he continued to play with our daughter.  “Daddy again!"  Kelis said jumping on his back.  He ran with her and back flipped into the pool. I smiled at them as they laughed at each other.

 I felt so blessed and happy.  The kids were running around and playing in the pool and everyone was having fun.  I looked beside me at Rachel as she watched Maryah and Cameron laugh and play around. All I wanted was her to feel the same happiness I felt.  I know she would also have the guilt of living when her kids did not and the hurt of losing their father always.  I just hoped one day the guilt and hurt would ease down so she could allow herself to feel the happiness and joy of living life with a new love and her surviving child. 

I looked at Cameron as Tasha sat in his lap and hugged him as did Maryah.  “Cam, come swimming with me!”  Tasha said laughing at him and Maryah.  I smiled at them as they finally convinced him to swim with them.  I looked at Rachel who seemed very confused and angry.  Her expression changed when Cameron emerged from the house in his swimming trunks.  He looked at her and smiled.  She stared at his sexy abs for a moment before turning away.

Rachel

            I took a sip from my water bottle as Traci laughed.   “Are you jealous?”  She asked as I looked back at Maryah. She, Cameron, and Tasha ran and jumped into the pool.  “A little bit.”  I admitted watching them have the time of their lives. 

Is this okay?  I wondered as I sat there watching them.  I understand the fact that every girl needs their dad.  I know her dad was dead, and she needed that special attention.  I thought I filled that void for her with Kenny and my brothers.  I know she loved them and understood that they were her Uncle.  They also treated her like she was their daughter. I watched Maryah sitting on Cameron’s stomach as he floated and swam backwards with Kenny and Kelis as they talked. 

I don’t even like him.  I’m just going to go break them up, I thought standing up.  That’s when Mom stepped in front of me. She pulled me into her arms and gave me the biggest hug.  I hugged her back not really knowing what was going on.

 A few minutes later she led me into the house and into my room.  She closed the door and we sat on the bed.  She stared at me long and hard for a moment.  Then, she finally spoke.  “Baby, why didn’t you tell me about Robi and Roni?”

 My heart fell out my mouth.  It surprised me that hearing their names made me begin to cry.  “Mommy, I’m,” My words disappeared behind my sobs.  I couldn’t speak anymore, and it became hard to breathe.  All I could do is sit there crying hysterically.  She hugged me as tight as she could.  I held her as I began to tremble.

 “Baby, I’m so sorry.”  “Mommy, I tried to bring them back with me!”  I shrieked.  “It’s okay, baby.”  “No, it’s not!  I lived and they didn’t!”  I cried even more.  She kissed me and continued to hug me. 

“They were so beautiful.  And that Roni looked like he’d make you die laughing.” I nodded my head as I began to calm down.  Remembering how silly Roni was kind of soothed me.  “He was my clown.  Robi was just quiet and observant.” She smiled at me as she wiped my tears.

 “Mommy, I am so sorry.”  I admitted.  She stared at me for a moment before nodding her head.  “We’re going to get through this baby, somehow someway, we’ll get through this.”  She finished wiping my tears as they began to slow down.  “You have to talk to me baby.  It’s been three years since you’ve been back and I’m just now finding out about your babies.  The psychiatrist knows more about your life than I do.”  “No, he doesn’t.  I go blank talking to him.”  “Rachel, the point is, it’s time to start talking.  Tell me about your life in California.”  I stared at her a moment.  “Mommy, I can’t tell you everything.  I need California to stay in California.”  “Rachel, I’m your mother.  There’s nothing you can’t tell me.”  “Mom, please.”

            I wiped away my remaining tears.  “Did you run away to be with him?”  She asked making me look at her.  “No, I didn’t know him then.  I didn’t meet him until we got to California.  We found each other and fell in love and had two beautiful boys.”  I took a deep breath.

 “Mom, I ran because of Joe.”  “Joe?  The man I called the police on when you came back?”  I nodded my head.  “He’s in prison.  He’s not supposed to get out until next year.”  “I know Mommy.”  God, please make the questions stop, I thought watching her study me.  She nodded her head.  “Okay.”  She said staring at me.  “When you’re ready to talk, I’m here, ready to listen.”  I smiled at her.  “Thank you, Mom.”

Later on, that evening, I was getting Maryah ready for bed.  I had just given her a bath, and she was telling me all about her new friend.  "Can I tell him goodnight?"  She asked as I dried her off.  I smiled at her.  "Baby, I am so happy you have a new friend, but do you remember the things that I told you?  About our family?"  She nodded her head.  "You can't talk about that stuff with anybody."  "Okay."  "Let me hear you promise."  "I promise."  I smiled at her.  "Good girl."  I dressed her, and then out the room she ran.

            I tidied up and followed her to the kitchen where Cameron and Tasha were sitting with my family.  I stopped outside the kitchen when I realized my family was interrogating Cameron. He didn’t seem nervous at all.  He sat there laughing and joking around with them and answering all of their questions.

 "So, you have no kids?"  Doris asked.  He shook his head.  "It’s just me and Tasha, my niece."  "Where's her mom?"  Tameka asked as he looked at Tasha as her face dropped.  "Dead."  "Is your mommy in heaven?"  Everyone’s attention shifted to Maryah who was standing next to Tasha.  She sadly nodded her head.  Maryah looked from Cameron to Tasha then ran to the freezer.  She returned to her with a bucket of ice cream.  I couldn't help but laugh as did Cameron and Traci from the kitchen. 

I love my child so much.  Her new life rule was ice cream was the cure to sadness.  My Maryah.