Desiree’s POV
I never wanted to feel this way on the night of my own eighteenth birthday, the day my parents, especially my father, insisted should feel like , celebration, stepping into adulthood. But my chest was heavy like something was ending instead of beginning.
Maybe it was. In less than three days I would be on a plane, halfway across the world, starting the scholarship I had prayed, begged, cried, and sacrificed for.
My future was finally happening but not here with my parents.
I was finally leaving my safe space.
And here I was, hiding behind the lemon trees in the back garden like a coward, refusing to face the one person I swore I would never think about tonight.
Ronan Grant.
Have you ever been in a situation of being caught in the middle of a s****l intimacy, moaning out a name you told everyone you hate?
Yes, that was me. That was me last week.
Shamelessly moaning out the boy I had told the world I despised so much.
My brother Matt's best friend, Ronan. My childhood nemesis, secret fantasy, and my teenage irritation.
The boy who always knew how to poke holes in the armor of my already made up mind and the same boy I had moaned out his name last week while doing something that made my cheeks fair with humiliation whenever I remembered it.
He heard me.
He f’cking heard his own name break out of my mouth and walked out like the world hadn't just detonated around me.
His indifference had been torture.
Which was exactly why I planned to avoid him until the party ended and I could disappear upstairs and pretend this day was about my future, not him! And I might as well not meet up with him till years later.
I closed my eyes, exhaling slowly.
Just ten more minutes alone. Ten minutes without….
“Trying to escape your own party, birthday girl?”
A familiar voice slid through the silent garden and I recognised his voice even before I heard his footsteps.
My stomach dropped so fast that I panicked, opening my eyes in shock.
No. No, no, no, he can't be here.
I straightened abruptly, whipping around, already annoyed that just hearing his voice could send every molecule in my body scattering. Every restraint, bursting off.
Ronan walked out from behind a patch of rose bushes, his dominant aura taking the place with his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark jeans, like he hadn't just intruded on my desperate need for solitude.
The garden lights caught on the angles of his cheekbones, his short jet-black hair and his emerald Green eyes. He looked older than the boy I grew up with, sharper, broader, his broad shoulders filling out the fitted black T-shirt he wore. Of course, he always loved black fits.
There should actually be a law against childhood friends growing into men like that. Yikes.
“What do you want?” I snapped when I got back my voice, crossing my arms even though I could hear my chest hammering.
He raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. “Happy eighteenth to you too.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Ronan, I'm not in the mood.”
“You're never in the mood. For me, anyway.”
My jaw clenched at his statement. “Exactly.”
Lies.
He laughed under his breath, stepping a little closer. I could smell him now, woodsy, warm, dark musk cologne.
That familiar scent that once attractively annoyed me because it clung to the hallway after he and Matt came home from practice. Now, you can call me crazy for the word ‘Attractively annoyed.’
I swallowed hard, my hands pinching at each other. I just want him to leave.
Instead, he leaned against the old stone bench like he owned the spot. “You looked like you were running away. Thought you'd want company.”
“Well, I don't.”
“You sure?” He asked softly and I looked away, staring at the lemon tree branches above me, pretending to admire them even though I could feel his gaze like heat against my cheek.
“I'm just getting air,” I muttered. “The house is packed and noisy. And ….I didn't want everyone fussing over me.”
“Matt said you were avoiding him.”
“In his defense, I am currently avoiding everyone.” I blurted defensively, still avoiding his gaze.
He sighed and for a moment, there was silence. The silence I hated so much when he was around with me. Not addressing the matter like it was something' he always saw me do.
Shit! Words were burning inside of me.
He pushed off the bench. “You're leaving in three days.” He started. “I just want to see you before you disappear again. Congratulations on your wins, city girl.”
I made a mistake looking up at his face and our eyes both fell on each other. I watched as he smiled and dusted nothingness dirt from his shirt.
“Bye.”
My jaw clenched, desperation clung at my chest as I watched him turn to leave.
Was he kidding me? He wouldn't address it?
I closed my eyes tightly and did the unthinkable. “Ronan! Don't you dare leave like you didn't see anything last week!” I yelled, my chest rising and falling at the same time.
I bit my lips, slowly opened my eyes to see he had halted to a stop.
Finally, Ronan said, “Is it because of last week? Was that the reason you avoided everyone?”
My entire body stiffened as he talked about it.
“Why are you acting like you didn't see me half naked, moaning your name?” I asked, putting my shame aside because if he doesn't talk about it, my soul would eat me up.
“Oh, moaning my name?” He teased, now turning back to look at me with that familiar annoying smirk plastered on his face.
“W…what do you mean?” I stuttered, avoiding his gaze.
“I heard a lot more than you think,” he murmured, the smirk slipping in.
My cheeks burned so hot that my hand intentionally cupped it, trying to cover up the shameful blush.
“I swear, Ronan, if you say one word…”
“I didn't tell Matt,” he interrupted with a gently bad boy smirk. “Or anyone.”
Gosh! He was playing with my head. This is really getting complicated.
“I don't care about that, “I shot back.
“I see,” he muttered. “You don't care about it, yet you stopped me to have a discussion about it? Fair enough.”
I pinched my nose anxiously.
“Given the fact that you actually moaned out my name profusely like it's normal. I figured out that this wasn't just a one time thing. Someone is using hate to cover attraction, huh?”
I coughed, my eyes turning red as I tried to be defensive. “E… Why do you think it is a norm? Just because of a stupid mistake I bit myself to, every night? I wanted to say Roman! This is the main reason I am having this conversation with you—to clear the air. The thoughts that you carried.”
He chuckled softly, staring at me amusely. “Mistake, huh? Do you know I stood outside your door for a few minutes to know you continuously spilled out my name like water. Should I give you a play?” He teased, one of his sexy smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
My eyes widened at the realization of what he was about to do and before he could say a word, I dashed toward him, placing my hand on his mouth to stop him from saying anything.
His eyes met mine, lingering into my soul as I froze.
The garden became still and in between my world in his, everywhere was silent. Silent that I could only hear the rhythm of our heart beating.
And before I could withdraw, his hand lifted, almost hesitantly, and brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. His fingers too grazed my cheek gently.
The world turned.
“Desiree,” he breathed in a sweet whisper. His hands found their way to my waist, drawing me closer to himself as his gaze dropped to my half parted mouth.
“Just so you know, I feel the same way…” he started but before he could continue, I chipped in, “I… I don't..”
Before the lie could finish forming, his hand cupped the back of my neck, steady and possessive. Then he pulled me into him, his lips crashing against mine like he had been fighting the urge for far too long.
His lips claimed mine hungrily, that stole my breath away, my lips giving way to reciprocation. His hands cupped my jaw, pulling me even more closer as if he was done playing every stupid game and he wanted to feel the whole of my body.
A small unintentional sound came from my lips as I closed my eyes and he swallowed it, deepening the kiss until my knees gave way.
Heat rushed through me, my fingers curling into his shirt, pulling him closer as if our bodies weren't already into each other.
He groaned softly against my mouth and I subconsciously wrapped my hands around his neck, claiming his whole body.
This was a dream… a very bad one.
But this was everything I wanted. Everything my soul yearned for, and I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want any of this to end.
He broke away just long enough to whisper, “You want me, don't you?”
And then this mouth was on mine again, urgent and hungry, and all the air between us disappeared.
I didn't know who moved first, him or me, but somehow we stumbled backward until my back hit the garden floor. The citrus scent burst in the air, sharp and intoxicating, mixing with the warmth of his breath against my neck as his lips traveled lower, sending shivers down my spine.
“Oh please,” I gasped.
His lips trailed down my stomach like I tease and I breathed out in pleasure.
“Say my name again,” he murmured against my throat. His hands moved swiftly finding their way towards my laps.
“Ronan ..”
His body pressed fully against mine, his hands sliding down into my p***y.
And then, for a split second, as he lifted his head, his eyes flashed.
I saw Red.
Deep, glowing, Red.