It was always you

Chapter 3.

Nervous.

Furious. 

Sad.

Those were the emotions coursing through Sasha. She could hear faint giggling as the door was opening. Everything was in slow motion for Sasha, she could hear her heart beating faster and as the door opened wider, a slender beauty was in view, her heart shattered, as standing behind whom she presumed was Cassie is none other than Raphael shirtless. As soon as he saw Sasha, his smile broke, panic started setting in, he started looking around as if he was in frantic trying to figure a way out. Sasha locked eyes with Cassie, her smile faltered as well, her eyes went wide, realisation dawned unto her who was standing in at her door. 

“Aren’t I enough?” Sasha directed her question at Raphael, as her tears began slowly falling.

“Sasha, baby… I…” Raphael stuttering 

“How could you? You knew about me, and you dated him anyway. What have I ever done to you?” 

“I love him” Cassie stated blankly

“And I don’t?” Sasha scoffed, Cassie returned with a glare

“Sasha, I’m sorry, baby please forgive me!” he pleaded, as he stepped in front of Cassie

“Answer my question Torres” 

“I… i... i love you both” 

“WHAT?!” Cassie yelled 

“Let me make myself clear here Raphael Torres, the moment you chose to continue seeing her you’ve chosen her. You had no respect for me or our relationship, You are selfish and an asshole. We are done. Don’t bother coming back to our apartment, I will pack your things and I will tell you when you can collect it.” Sasha stated firmly, from the corner of her eyes, she could see Cassie smirking in victory. 

Raphael stepped forward, wiped Sasha’s tears, and whispered “baby please don’t, I love you.”  

“Don’t. We are done.” she then turned to Cassie and spat out bitterly “Happy anniversary. Enjoy him before he cheats on you” with that Sasha left. 

***

Once Sasha got home, all she could think about was how her day went, she started out in love and having a great time, managed to finalise the deal with Mr Hsu, then everything went downhill from there. Sighing, she knows she’s going to be wallowing in misery for a few days, so she decided to text her boss that she will not be able to come in for work tomorrow, then she got into the showers.

After a long hot shower, she took out a tub of ice cream and started flipping channels. She knew what she needed, she knew she needed to watch something that would calm her down and possibly make her forget, she turned to the cooking channels and just stared at the tv for the longest time. Slowly her thoughts started invading her mind again,

Why did he choose to cheat?

Isn’t she enough?

How many times did he cheat on her and with whom? 

Was she not caring enough? 

Was she not beautiful?

Did he prefer a slimmer girl? Compared to a curvy one

Did he ever love her?

Will anyone ever love her?

Will she find anyone who will tolerate her?

Will she find anyone who will care for her?

Does she need to adopt dogs to keep her sanity?

Why won’t can’t anyone love her the way she wanted to be loved?

Silently crying, wishing her thoughts would go away. Her thoughts were becoming more and more harsh, she can feel her insecurity creeping up clouding her every thought. She used to be confident, after Drake she lost all of her confidence, making her insecure about her appearance. 

Drake was her first boyfriend, they met in first year of culinary school and they clicked instantly, he was always sweet and caring, then 2 months into dating, one day he snapped, he was abusive in every way, calling her names, emotionally abusive, and when he hit her, he will always ensure that it wasn’t visible to public, causing her to wear more covered clothing. She once celebrated her curves, she loved how her body was and she knew she was beautiful, but after the constant a***e from Drake, she lost all confidence and was never the same again. She was a victim. 6 months into dating, she landed in the hospital, Drake had r***d her and hit her till she was unrecognizable. Clayton found her in her apartment a day later, and called 911, he stayed with her and nursed her back to health, Clayton convinced Sasha to press charges and now he’s in prison for r**e, battery and attempted murder. 

When Sasha met Raphael, she wasn’t planning on dating, she was still recovering but decided to give him a chance, Clayton was by her side no matter what, so she felt much better. Clayton was always there for her, till 3 years ago when he left, he needed time apart from her, he needed to be by himself, so he took a job in Canada. Her world was crumbling, but she just started dating Raphael, so she leaned on him, by that time Michela was still in Europe, unable to come back due to modelling gigs. 

Sasha and Michela’s friendship was always that way, they don’t need to always be constantly around each other, but they are best friends, nothing could separate their friendship. Michela and Sasha have been friends since they were 3 years old, they were with each other through thick and thin growing up, up till after high school when they both had to separate ways to pursue their own dreams. Michela came out as a lesbian when she was in Europe, being best friends with her, Sasha booked the next available ticket to see her, when Michela’s parents weren’t taking the news so well. Now more than ever, Sasha wanted to be with Michela and Clayton, she needed the support, she didn't know who to turn to for comfort. 

Sasha slowly drifted to sleep, as she thought about her life and her insecurities.

***

The next morning, Sasha woke up with a headache, she looked like a mess and she knew it. She knew she needed to pick herself up and pack up Raphael’s belongings, she didn’t want his stuff around her anymore, she didn’t want to remember him, she wanted to purge him out of her life. Picking herself up, she got ready and started packing up his stuff. She stuffed whatever he owned into trash bags, he didn’t have much, just mainly clothes. Once she was done, she brought his trash bags down and left it with our doorman. He looked at her with pity, if only you knew, she thought to herself. 

Sasha : Your trash is with the doorman. I’ve arranged for the door lock to be changed. Have a great life, let’s never meet again. 

As she sent that, she wondered if she was too harsh on him, she looked down sad, letting a tear escape, she pressed the elevator to her floor. 

“Are you ok Sasha?” 

Startled, she wiped her tears and looked back “Oh hey Adonis” 

“Are you alright? Is there something wrong?” Adonis asked innocently, he is a really nice guy, good looking too, but tad bit vain and narcissistic for Sasha’s liking. 

“He was cheating on me” Sasha blurted, Adonis eyes widened. 

“Man, he really was stupid” he said shaking his head.

Ding - the elevator stopped, it was Sasha’s floor

“Yeah, well we’re done.” Sasha said as she was exiting

“Hey! Sash, you wanna grab a coffee later and talk about it?” Adonis asked concerned

“Actually, I don’t feel like leaving the house, maybe next time?” she sheepishly smiled. Adonis held the elevator doors so that it would remain open and said “How about I come over, and will just sit with you, at least you are not alone?”

Sasha thought about it, she knew it wasn’t half bad of an idea, she needed comfort, so she said “Sure”, he smiled and said “I’ll be at your place in 5 minutes, i just need to get my charger” 

Knock knock. True to his words, Adonis was at her door in exactly 5 minutes, she smiled knowing he cared enough. 

“Come in! It’s unlocked” Sasha yelled, as she was changing out of her shirt, and she heard feet shuffling around she yelled again “I’ll be out in 2 minutes” 

“Hey, wow what a way to greet your guest” said Mateo, Sasha turned blushed as she realised she only had a b*a and shorts on.