Silence And Shadows Collection

Chapter 1-3

He handed me the folded paper displaying my father’s large seal, holding it gingerly by a corner. ‘Signore, if you please. I may be in your employ, but it is your father who remunerates.’

‘Open it and hand it to me.’

‘Pah,’ he said, dropping it into my lap before sitting on a chair beside me, all pretence forgotten. ‘f**k me sideways, but I shall not. Open it yourself you little shit.’

I laughed at his excellent impression of a London accent and snapped the wax. ‘Sell more.’ I held up a finger. ‘Make them pay sooner.’ Another finger. ‘Less household expense.’ A finger. ‘Find a rich wife.’ Finger. ‘A shipment is on its way.’ Thumb. ‘Gianna is dead … Gianna is dead of smallpox.’ I stood, the letter dropping to the floor. ‘Gianna. Not my Gianna.’ I blinked back quick tears. ‘It can’t be true. La mia bella sorella.’ Giuseppe rose to grasp me in his arms, his face already wet.

La mia bella sorella‘I told you, this letter è crudele, eh?’

è crudele* * *

Grief-stricken, I took myself off to the Garter in Blackfriars to find some lively company. It seemed to me a very English way of responding to such a loss. On opening the door into the smoky tavern, I surveyed its dimly lit interior newly decorated in the classical style. Once again, I missed its old incarnation as a bawdy house, though I was never a customer, I had enjoyed the wine and the smiling, buxom girls happy to help me with my English when not occupied elsewhere. That night, I surveyed the men seated at marble-topped tables hoping to locate friends or at least acquaintances.

‘Raphael.’

I turned on my heel.

A large arm waved, attracting my attention. ‘Over here.’

‘Tom.’ I made my way through the throng of pot boys and serving wenches to his table under a night-dark window, but close enough to the fire to feel its heat. I was glad to find him alone, though he had not been so for long judging by the array of tankards in front of the three now empty chairs. Thomas Monkton was Lieutenant of the Yeoman Guardsmen at the palace and the first man to befriend me when I arrived at court past eighteen months since, now. He was dressed in his scarlet uniform, meaning he would be on duty later and, knowing his character, he would not drink more than to quench his thirst beforehand. ‘I’m glad to find you here.’

‘You look mighty dejected. What ails you, lad? Not milady Canford again? She seems a touch more trouble than is warranted, does she not?’

‘It’s my sister, Gianna.’ I bit my lip, blinking back further tears, hoping he would not see it in the gloom. Englishmen seem little impressed with what they judge a weakness.

Thomas leaned closer across the table. ‘Tell me.’

‘Smallpox.’ I shook my head to convey the outcome.

He gripped my wrist for a moment, giving it a reassuring shake. ‘Sorry to hear it, my friend. She’s the one you were closest to in age?’

‘Five years older. Artemisia and Claudia, many years more. Artemisia is soon to become a grandmother.’ I felt tears brim again when I thought of her two young girls left motherless and my mamma’s grief. Poor Mamma. She was always so close to Gianna. They were very much alike, so quietly, sweetly loving. Though Gianna joined in my teasing with her sisters – who were old enough to know better I had long realised – her heart was never really in it. She would kiss away my tears when they had gone about their business. I would write to Mamma tonight. Though not to Papà. Would he even feel her absence?

‘You have my pity. Shall you return to Florence for her funeral?’

‘I doubt my father will permit it. There’s another gem shipment on its way, and he’ll expect me in the workshop to bring him a quick return. I fear my sister’s laying to rest will be of little importance in the face of trade.’

‘You’ll have no difficulties finding buyers, Raphael. I’m told your designs are very fashionable. And they’re Italian too, which is very much in vogue they say. All those noble lads and their so-called chaperones, debauching themselves around your fine cities. No, there’ll be plenty of buyers, I’m sure.’

I frowned at the defiled cities and the prospect of buyers. For that would not be the problem. ‘It’s finding payers that proves difficult, alas.’

‘Can’t say it surprises me, Raph.’ He waylaid a passing serving wench, seizing her around the waist, swinging her in close. His flashing smile and muscled bulk was enough for her to bite-back the vexed retort there ready on her lips, replacing it with a welcoming grin.

‘What can I get for you two handsome sirs?’

‘A jug of Rhenish for my friend here, and a tankard of small beer for me, my lovely.’

She c****d her head. ‘Small beer, sweetheart? You sure?’

He gestured to his uniform, grinning. ‘Indeed. For I must stay sober to keep the King’s peace.’

She laughed, raucous and gap-toothed, throwing her head back with abandon. ‘God love you, Sir. You be the only one at Whitehall who do, I’ll be bound.’

Susannah: Diary: December 1, 1675

Susannah: Diary: December 1, 1675I have found I cannot write every day for often there is nothing to say, or at least nothing I can bring myself to record. Not forward steps. Perhaps even some backwards ones? And I despise myself for it. But today has not been one of those. Today I have been truly happy for the first time in many months.

Sam has returned, thank Jesu, and straightaway came to visit me. I was standing beside the studio window checking my colours when I saw him leave his house to cross the street. My heart soared at the sight of him. He looked wonderful in a lapis blue coat cut in the longer French style, his glossy chestnut hair tied at his neck. He was a candleflame in my darkness. I left my miniature on the sill and clattered down the three flights of stairs to let him in. Then I was in his arms.

He held me away for a moment to plant a kiss upon my forehead. ‘Sukie, forgive me. I’ve abandoned you for far too long.’ He took my arm and led me upstairs and into the first-floor drawing room, where the fire burned fiercely in the marble-porticoed fireplace. All the décor was Catherine’s; nothing of my mother remained. Gilded chairs and couches. Pale floral upholstery. Matching gold-framed wall panelling. Needless to say, I hate it.

When the door was firmly closed behind us, the relief of it left me quite faint. ‘Jesu, Sam. I’ve missed you more than I can say.’ Even though I must keep my voice low, it felt blissful. ‘I think it sent me a little mad, speaking to no one.’ Little? Understated, perhaps? I clutched his hand. ‘But it drove me outside the house at last.’

He pulled me back into his arms. ‘Well, I’m very pleased to hear it. And, how brave of you. I can imagine how difficult it must have been.’

I nodded, sighing. ‘Having no life became too high a price, so I had to.’

‘Sukie, I never expected to be away this long. It all turned out to be so much more complicated than we thought.’

‘I know it wasn’t by choice. Nor is it your fault I’m so disgracefully dependent on you.’ I looked up at him and forced a smile. ‘I hope it was all resolved in the end?’

He nodded. ‘I think the King is content.’

I knew he could tell me little of it. These visits of his to the royal courts of Europe. Painting portrait miniatures proved an excellent cover for the secret discussions with courtiers and diplomats the King required of him. ‘Now I must break my silence, or I fear it will break me.’

He stroked my back. ‘I’m here now, so tell me how I can help?’

‘I shall try to speak to Papa. And the first words I must say are, “forgive me.”’

He grasped my shoulders. ‘You were ill after your mama’s death. Your voice deserted you. It wasn’t your fault.’

‘Sam, I spoke at my grandmother’s and chose to stop again when I returned here. Because I was angry.’ Grandmama and I had needed each other’s comfort, even though it meant abandoning Papa and fleeing with Penny to Hampshire. Had this on top of his grief contributed to Catherine snaring him? It must be so, surely?

‘Christ, you came home to the Villiers.’ He shook his head. ‘You wanted to punish your papa for it – I would have felt the same – so you refused to acknowledge them. I understand all of it.’ He held my face. ‘And I’ll do everything I can to help you have a life again.’

‘I know you will.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Now, come up and see my new work. I’d like your opinion of it.’

‘With pleasure.’

In the studio, he was soon standing before my table holding his chin whilst he scrutinised my miniature for the King.

Finally, he spoke. ‘You really are a sorceress, Susannah. The luminosity. How you do this is beyond me. I saw Castlemaine at court this morning when I brought letters to the King.’ He shook his head. ‘The rest of us try to give the sitter what they hope for … hinting at greater beauty. Fewer years. Yet somehow, it’s always clear it’s been done. You do it and it’s not. How in God’s name do you know just the right amount to leave unchanged for them to not see what has been?’

I chewed my lip as I wrote, for we were no longer alone, of course, ‘I despise that place. I hated being back there–’

, He pulled me tight into his arms. ‘Sukie, my sweet love.’

Penny ran in then, excited to see him as always and especially so after he had been away for so long. We broke apart and he swung her up into his arms, showering her with kisses. ‘How big you’ve grown my poppet and how exceedingly pretty you are.’ He turned to me. ‘She gets more and more like you. No one could ever doubt you’re sisters.’

I closed my eyes for a moment and smiled. ‘Indeed, they could not.’ I wrote. Yet I saw the blue eyes that were not mine and a sweet soul much kinder than my own.

I led him back down to the drawing room and when Penny ran off to fetch her new dolly to show him, I was able to whisper to him again before she returned. How I hate my silence with her. It shames me. ‘The King saw through my trick.’

‘Maybe, for once, your father boasted of your skill to him? Perhaps, to win his patronage for you again?’

‘He wouldn’t. He guards it closely. It’s why my work is so in demand. Sitters must believe I make a true likeness.’ We sat together on the couch beside the window looking down on a bustling Henrietta Street. Carriages jostled. Overladen farmers’ carts headed for the arcades of Covent Garden. Crowds hurried about their business. Ragged boys wove between them at their peril to cross the gloomy street. Cartmen jeered at coachmen and both bellowed at pedestrians, picking their way through the horse dung.