Silence And Shadows Collection

Chapter 2-4

.‘Holy God.’ Sam set off down the stairs.

I hurried to follow. Inside the kitchens I heard a shout and arrived in the scullery to find Bess on the table, her skirts up and her bodice down with James between her thighs, one hand engaged there and the other fixed around her throat.

Sam was already moving to shove him away. ‘Off her you filthy scum.’

I went to Bess’s aid immediately but not before I caught a repulsive glimpse of James’s anatomy and rather more of Bess’s before I was able to untangle her skirts and put her gown to rights. How shockingly incongruous it all seemed accompanied by the smell of the stockpot simmering on the fire-shelf.

‘w***e,’ James said, pointing at Bess, making no attempt to fasten his breeches. ‘Not her first time by a very long count.’ He seemed to flaunt himself when he thought my eyes were on him. How pitiful he is.

‘Cover yourself, you piece of shit.’

‘Want it yourself, Sammy? Shame to waste a good stand, no?

Sam punched him in the face, causing him to stagger back against the dresser, clutching his nose to stem the blood whilst crockery cascaded around him, fragmenting tumultuously upon the flagstone floor.

Catherine arrived. ‘What, in the name of all that’s holy, goes on here?’

Sam and James both began to speak at once.

Catherine held up her hand. ‘My son will give his account. This is his household after all and not yours, Samuel Carter.’

Well, to my surprise, it turned out to be a reasonably accurate one only leaving out Bess’s most obvious objection to his attentions. ‘r**e,’ I wrote on my pad and held it up. Catherine’s lip curled.

‘You.’ Catherine pointed at Bess. ‘Fetch the master down from his studio.’

I nodded at her to give my permission, clearly vexing Catherine which was pleasing as it had been my intention.

‘The chit is obviously a harlot. She must be dismissed. I won’t have my son debauched by the likes of that.’

James smirked. ‘She lured me in here asking for my help with a heavy pot, Mama.’

‘My maid will not be dismissed,’ I wrote. ‘Rape.’

‘w****s cannot be r***d you silly girl. And your father will agree with me, I think you’ll find.’

Sam stepped forward. ‘Bess is no p********e. She’s been with Sukie since she was twelve years old. James forced–’

‘Servants can’t be r***d either. They’re always at fault,’ James said, with a grin.

‘I think you should leave, Mr Carter,’ Catherine said. ‘You’re no longer welcome here.’

‘My guest,’ I wrote. I wanted to speak so much. I wanted to defend my friend. I have to find a way out of this oubliette I have made for myself. How loathsome that I only scrawled, ‘He will not leave.’

‘No, Sukie. I shall. I’ll see you later.’

Having little choice, I nodded before following him to the door to see him out. ‘I need to make sure Bess is safe first, then I’ll come to you,’ I whispered as he buttoned his Brandenburg. He kissed me on the cheek and ran down the steps, and watching him walk away, my heart was full of love for him.

I met Papa coming down the stairs with a tearful Bess following behind. When she saw me, she ran past him and into my arms.

‘I’ve been given a very garbled account of James misusing her and Catherine dismissing her. What in God’s name is going on, Susannah?’

I held up my pad and pointed to ‘r**e’ and quickly scrawled, ‘James.’ This was where I should have been able to tell him exactly what had occurred before the other side were able to spout their poison. It is hard to put into words just how much I hated myself at that moment. And Sam had been sent away. Catherine knew exactly what she was doing. He could not speak for us. I wrote, ‘Trust me to always tell you the truth.’ Amusing, no? ‘I saw. Catherine did not. James will lie.’

He nodded. ‘Never fear, Sukie, I’ll have the truth of it.’

Holding Bess’s hand, I followed him into the kitchen parlour where Catherine and James were seated at the table whispering furiously. They stopped, of course, the moment we entered.

‘The girl must go at once.’ Catherine placed her hand on James’s arm. ‘She has debauched my son.’

‘Forced herself on you did she, lad?’

I thought my father had a look of the King just then, with his lowering black brows and beak of a nose.

He pointed at Bess. ‘That slip of a thing had her wicked way with you, yes?’

I grinned, which was not appreciated by the Villiers. Good.

Good.Catherine gave me a withering look. ‘Don’t be absurd, Richard. She enticed him. I won’t have a common harlot working in my house, leading my son astray.’

That ship has long sailed, went through my mind.

‘Are you a w***e, Bess? Did you set a price for my step-son to have you?’

‘I did not, Master. On my life, I did not. He forced me.’

Tears rolled down her face and I put my arm around her again nodding my support, vigorously.

Catherine rose. ‘Explain then her lack of maidenhead?’

Bess turned and buried her face in my bosom. I gentled her just as I would Penny, grateful she was not here to witness such a scene.

‘Pack your box, strumpet, and leave this house at once.’

I saw Papa’s eyes upon me and read sympathy for my Bess there. She had been my maid, and dear companion, for six years after being taken-in by Mama when her seamstress mother became too ill to work. I shook my head, pleading with my eyes. His slight nod filled me with profound relief. ‘Thank you,’ I said, forming the words silently with my lips.

He sighed. ‘Bess is in Susannah’s employ. Only she can dismiss her.’

‘But–’

He held up his hand. ‘Wife, I suggest you instruct your son to keep away from Bess and My daughter will do the same with her maid, though I doubt she’ll need such instruction. The matter is closed. I shall now return to my work.’

It seemed safest to send Bess to her mother in Southwark, where she might stay for a few days. She visited her often now she was entirely bedridden with the same complaint that had lingered all these years, only worsening slowly. We concealed such visits from the rest of the servants, who would have been dismayed to learn of such bounty when they were allowed little respite themselves.

I saw neither Catherine nor James again before leaving to walk the short distance across the street to call on Sam. I was to dine with him again as Penny would remain with her friend for the night. The evening was bitterly cold, and I wore my thickest cloak even for so short a walk.

He let me in himself, relieving me of it, and ushering me upstairs to the fire in his drawing room. ‘You did the right thing sending her to her mother. Yet it will be hard for her to return, I think. How will she live in the same house with him? Won’t she be in a state of constant fear?’

‘James will skulk at court for a while. I just wish he could remain there permanently.’

‘Perhaps one of Buckingham’s wits might give him rooms? He’s part of that set now, I believe.’ He placed his hands on my shoulders and pulled me against him for a few moments. Then we sat together on the couch before the fire. ‘We’ll think of something. Might your father speak to the King … or I could try?’

I shook my head, desperate as always to find a way to end my silence. Then I could discuss it with Papa myself. ‘I don’t know what to do, Sam.’ It was a conversation had too often. ‘If I admit what I’ve done so many people will be hurt. How will Papa feel when he finds out? How can I claim to love him and have treated him in such a way? If only I’d recognised what a mindless trap I’d set for myself.’

‘It wasn’t your fault, Sukie. At first it was real. It was the Villiers invading your life that made you use it as you did.’

‘You’re far too kind to me. But I chose it. Nothing was forced on me.’ We dissect it all again, whenever we spend time together. How tedious it must be for him. To say the same things to me over and over again. Trying to help, I know. Jesu. And it seems such madness to me now.

‘What about Penny. How will she ever make sense of it?’

‘I think she’ll just be glad to find her sister has a voice.’

‘Well, I think a lot of people including the King, perhaps – who is not fond of cowards … or, indeed, liars – will think I have made fools of them.’ Sam has no idea just how much of a liar I am, nor is he ever going to know. ‘I truly deserve to feel so trapped and full of self-loathing because of it. I feigned this to hurt. I wanted to hurt Papa when I was so angry with him and now I’m stuck not being able to comfort him when I think him unhappy with Catherine.’ How quickly my anger had retreated, seeing the bleakness in his gaze when he looked at her. I had spent so little time with them together. I wondered how long ago he had fallen out of love.

‘I remember when you couldn’t speak to me, Sukie. You tried so hard. You were desperate. It was real to start with. Never try to convince yourself otherwise.’

I grasped his hand. ‘Well, we keep talking of it and I keep promising action, but nothing changes. So, I shall speak to Papa tomorrow. No more delays. I can’t live with myself if I do not. I even considered suggesting it a miracle, but only if I had the slightest hope he’d believe it.’ I tried to laugh but could summon no mirth. ‘All I can do is ask his forgiveness.’

‘You shall have it and his understanding, too, I’m sure. He loves you very much.’ He glanced at the clock on the mantle and stood. ‘Now, let us dine. Pascal has prepared his seafood fricassee you’re so fond of. And this time he’s made sufficient for two only, or so he claims.’

I smiled. ‘I shall be delighted.’ Though the admiral rarely stayed in the house himself, his chef was always there to cook for Sam. I often think he lives something of a charmed life.

By the time I returned home across the deserted road, shimmering white with frost, everywhere was in darkness save for the full moon setting our path aglitter, with no need for Connor’s linkman duties because of it. Sam took my arm and walked with me again. Our talk had lasted well past midnight. There was a night candle left for me in the hall and I found the fire still well alight in my chamber.

Before I finish this entry, there is one last thing I must note before I sleep. I have not told Sam of my ride home with Raphael Rossi. I think it is possible that I am beginning to change my opinion of him, not only because Sam thinks well of him but because I found I enjoyed his company. He talked so enthusiastically about his work for the duchess and the details of how he went about it fascinated me. I really feel I would like to watch him one day. Maybe the duchess is right when she said we have things in common?