Yours to claim forever

Before the teenage dream

Well, I told you that in Mexico things are a little bit different. Well, the educational environment is very different. Here there are a lot of differences on it. Private schools are common, but more common is that private schools are also ruled by nuns or catholic priests. My school was traditionally a school of nuns. It turns out that boys were only allowed first in kindergarden and, a few years later, in elementary school. So I lived when boys started to attend to this school and they were minority. So, boys were clearly dominant when they could, so, even if they were like four or five of them on each classroom, they dominated it. 

But after all, years had passed and I was tired of that environment. People there where highly catholic and they didn't accept you if you were from a divorced family, or if you were born to a single mom. So, it's natural to think that they got problems with that. My mother tried to not divorce formally, but my behaviour reflected that something wasn't ok. So, I had to took therapy and a stupid medicine that made me loose the spark of life. They decided to drug me, to keep me there. it wasn't literally like that, but it was how i felt. 

As far as I know, teachers in large groups in this kind of schools didin't want to deal with kids with behavior troubles, and it was common to send you with a private doctor to prescribe your kid very expensive drugs to keep them from being a trouble at school. They called this behavioral disorder TDAH. But aparently it was fashion to schools use that resource to keep students's tuition. It was an horror to mothers to have expelled kids, or at least was the worst of my mother's fears. I don't blame her fully... after all, they told her it was the best way, and it was the only way to deal with my disorder. 

I was barely 7 years old when i took on that pill for the first time. I remember it like it was yesterday. My mom took a new plastic bottle that were not like the other medicines. it was diferent. so he handed me a pill, and a glass of water and all the day went through very fast. I put atention, of course but i didn't went with my only friend, Esther, and stayed at the classroom. 

That's why I didn't have problems with losing who was supposedly my best friend, I started to behave diferent since the first pill I swollen. So I had the struggle of being legally drugged, and when I was older enough I asked my dad to stop giving my mom money to buy that pill. It was expensive, and made me feel anxious, and sad, and I was growing and didn't have my feet on the ground exactly. I didn't made efforts to make friends and often I was alone and angry. 

In that moment I didn't know that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms, because only one bottle of broken pills it wasn't enough to end the "treatment". Of course we didn't get professional guidance to quit that pill. And the school teacher knew when the change came. And everybody in that school made everything possible to make me get expelled. 

it was like the scene on Mulan Movie when Mushu says "Dishonor, Dishonor on your cow". In that moment, kids being expelled were bad, and carried with them the shame of it. I finished my education at house, or something like that. Our system doesn't had "home Schooling" but they had the Institute for adult education, and it didin't really matter your age, always your could take exams and get your diploma. it Was better that way, my mom found a private teacher who helped kids and teenagers of all ages to finish their elementary and middle studies, he put his life in make those kids to enter to college and being productive it was called Nacho's School. He cared for the pointed kids, and I was one of them. He put his niece to make me studdy and a girl six years older than me could do it. She changed my mind in two years, she made stop feeling like a victim, and take the bull by the horns. 

After all, Nacho and his niece, Chris Marie, made me better at studying by myself, my mom thought that the administration change on the nuns school was a sign to me to return. I didn't say much about it. I didn't have a lot of friends there. Nobody cared for me when i left. I never saw no one... and didn't want to expect. The last year I was that nun's school, I often had chattered with three short girls, but that was all. 

So, when I came back they were the only ones who accepted me back. You'll see, it doesn't matter if the queen's bees's groups were my friends before the pills I had to took, I was an outsider and nobody wanted to work with me because the last year I was with them I had a very bad moods and I was a hell of a person. I am not proud of it, and I couldn't helped it. I never had the awareness of what was happening to my body because of that f*****g pill, I was a Child and on that moment I didn't have internet access like we have these days. 

So, six years came up like water... I made some friends but I was part of the segregated people who didn't mix with the others because they were treated like they had Sarna. Of course, when I came back after coexisting with kids 2 or 5 years more than me make me a more serious person. at my twelve years old, I was very different from them, so I often had trouble with my classmates for not being like them. I learned to have humor sense, but I was still on a bubble that I didn't knwow that existed.