Where Wild Things Roam

Insecurities

Darby    

To say that Suzanne is thrilled to see me when I arrive with Lili and Anna in tow would be an understatement. This time, she doesn’t merely bring out mimosas and turn the sign from Open to Closed—she also locks the door.

I genuinely hope she doesn’t break the bank for Jack, though when Lili and Suzanne get started in the lingerie section of the boutique with selections involving minute pieces of leather held together with laces of satin ribbon and tiny chains, even I can’t question whether he’d care.

There’s no denying Anna and Lili are a good match for Jack. His generally easy-going, devil-may-care irresponsibility is tempered by their directness and peculiarly proper social etiquette. Unlike Kasey, who was wholly likeable and still overwhelming, around these two, even I’m enjoying myself. That is until…

“May I join you, ladies?”

Coming from behind, Sean’s polite request startles me. There’s no way Lili and Anna will refuse the way I would, forcing me to either endure his tiresome attempts to engage with me or quickly seek an exit from our lunch at Darla and Joe’s. Of course as Luna, no such option readily presents itself. Sometimes I miss my uncomplicated life in my valley.  

Lili slides to the chair opposite me, opening a space between she and I so that Sean can sit next to me.

“You sit right here by me,” she purrs, winnowing her fingers through the silvery-gold waves of his hair. “You’re such a refreshing contradiction to Jack and Ian’s dark, wintery handsomeness. Burning and bright like a sun god. Tell me your story, sunshine.”

“There’s no story. I’m an open book,” he replies with an exasperating, self-deprecating smirk. The flirt. He’s focused just slightly over Anna’s shoulder, as if watching something at the park, but I know he’s gauging my response in his periphery. I sigh in annoyance, directing my attention where Tessa is entertaining herself and the children with her filthy, slobbery ball.

“Maybe to everyone else, but Anna and I just got here. We barely know anything, sunshine. How long have you been triumvir in the Candlewood pack?”

That draws my attention and not because I care one whit about the response. It’s something in Lili’s voice. I noticed it this morning too, when she was pitilessly arousing the men across the table with no intention of satisfying what she awakened. She flips it on and off like a switch, applying it with consummate skill—only and exactly enough to get what she wants and not enough to trigger any warning in her unwitting victims.

It’s as I study her, focused now to catch her artful application of it, that I realize she’s been charmed. And not recently, if her dexterous employment of her voice is any indicator.

I’m so engrossed in observation, when Darla arrives at our table with menus, she has to address me twice.

“Blended juice of the day for you, Luna? Luna?”

“I’m terribly sorry, Darla. What was that?”

“I’ve concocted a new juice blend. Would you like that with your lunch today?”

“I’m certain it’s wonderful. Yes, please.”

“And for you ladies?”

“Darla, these are actually your triumvir Jack’s mates. This is Anna and this is Lingling, but she prefers Lili.”

Darla’s brows shoot up and her lips pull into a tight O, then her face cracks with a broad grin. “I suppose that’s no surprise with our unconventional Jack. Welcome triumvir mates.” Her eyes narrow looking at Anna. “You seem familiar. I’m sure I’ve see…”

Sean’s intrusion via link shocks me out of my own thoughts, but his question is so on par with what I was just thinking, I don’t even remember to be upset.

“You know you two can just talk.” Anna waves a hand in the air between Sean and me. “We’re meeting Jack for lunch at the packhouse, so you both enjoy your lunch together. It was so nice to meet you, Darla. We’ll be back soon.”

“They are terrific young ladies.” Darla gives a happy sigh, smiling. “We are so fortunate here in Candlewood. I just can’t get over it. I’ll get you two some menus.”

I bite my lip, realizing I’m alone now at the table, and trapped with Sean as my companion.

“They worked that pretty smoothly, didn’t they?” He huffs a laugh, shaking his head at being taken in the same as I was.

“I suppose they did, although what motive they could have for it, I can’t imagine.” There’s no disguise for the accusation in my voice.

“That was not arranged on my part, Darby, but I’m not unhappy it’s happened. You’re the only person I can talk to about Lili’s charm. But I know you don’t trust me, and I’ll understand if you want to go.”

I’m so stunned he called me by my name, Darby, instead of the usual intentionally detached, Luna, that I can’t think of a reply. The glimmer of a smile tugs the corners of his mouth, and he nods his head once as though genuinely grateful.

“So what does it mean that she’s been charmed?”

Sean doesn’t break eye contact. In fact, if it’s possible, he deepens it, almost like a kiss. A low heat emanates from him, and not simply the impression of it from his tanned skin, blonde hair and golden eyes. It a tangible presence, not burning or suffocating like it’s rooted in the desert he came from, just warm and a little close, like a walk through a forest in the height of summer.

“There’s no hazarding a guess. Charms like that are bestowed as gifts sometimes at birth. Or later in life as a protection. Even inherited. If she even knows it was done, I rather doubt you’d get out of her the reason why.”

“You don’t think it’s strange? First a faery Luna and less than a month later, a charmed Triumvir?”

“No stranger than a simultaneously cursed and charmed Triumvir, although I suspect your charm has the dual purpose of protection and identification. Is it directly given? Or inherited like your curse?”

Sean’s face splits into a heart-stopping smile. “You astound me, Darby.” He means it as a compliment.

“I wasn’t born yesterday. You can’t really be surprised I recognize your charm for a charm.”

His smile isn’t diminished, but there’s a subtle shift in the tone of his words. Playful. Alluring. A low rumble that concurrently relaxes and excites. “Aww, come on. Surely I have a little of my own.”

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t given it the least consideration.”

I start violently when he scoots his chair closer and leans on the arm of mine.

“That’s part of the charm, you know. I can feel that you’re lying.” His breath tickles the fine hairs along my neck and shoulder, and a groan puffs out of him in a whisper when I shiver.

“Perhaps you’re right. There does seem a design to the magic converging in Candlewood.”

Sean lingers, only long enough that I know he debated planting a kiss on my neck, then he sits up straight in his chair. “It started with you. So tell me why you need the biggest, fastest, stealthiest, most ferocious alpha as a mate. One with a brother and triumvir with the fastest wolf shift on record and his triumvir mate with a siren lure in her voice. You even have a were dog. And now a second suitor with a magical protection charm. It’s more than just you’re rare as a fae. I’m going to find out what you’re hiding. It’d be so much simpler if you’d just tell me.”

**

Ian    

“This isn’t a topic I think I can be much help with, Alpha,” Dr. Myers says gently, her eyes averted as her gloved hands examine my testicles, the final humiliating step in a medical consultation I naively requested. “My knowledge about conception in faeries is limited at best. Everything feels normal here, so you can sit up. I’ll get these samples to the lab.”

Well, that was awful for my ego.

Dr. Myers pulls the paper-thin hospital gown over my exposed parts and pats my knee and I wonder if this can get any more emasculating.

As she takes her gloves off and washes her hands, I sit upright on the exam table feeling more violated than I ever have in my life. No wonder women hate pelvic exams and mammograms.

“Shifters are easy, really. Finding a mate is enough to ramp up fertility in most species. But there’s essentially no modern medical information on fae beyond recognizing fae phenotypes and fae genotypes from DNA. Even those aren’t based on experience with individuals with the proportion of fae Darby has.” She dries her hands with paper towels, turning the water off with them after. “You said you can smell her heat and that it’ll start again soon.”

“Right.”

“A monthly cycle is similar to humans. Fertility rates in the first month of trying to conceive are less than fifty percent in humans. They don’t even get above seventy percent until sometime between three and six months of consistent trying.” Dr. Myers takes a seat and jots some notes in my chart. “By comparison, over ninety percent of female weres conceive in the first month after finding their mate. So it might be a fertility issue, with either you or with Darby, but it also might not. I’ll consult some colleagues—see what I can find. But my prescription for you, Alpha, is to relax and enjoy s*x with your mate and let nature sort out the timing of a pregnancy. If there’s still nothing after six months, I can run some more tests.”

“Thanks, Dr. Myers.”

“Of course, Alpha. Anytime.”

After the door closes behind her, I dress. To say I’m not happy about her diagnosis or recommendation is an understatement. And my hands are tied with explaining myself to her further. It’s more than just my personal desire to have children. It’s a big deal that my mate is faery. I can feel it.

As I head back to my office, a new resource hits me. Sean. I’ve developed a real appreciation for his experience in gathering intelligence and I’ll bet it can be mobilized to find me more information about fae much faster than Dr. Myers can. His assistant tells me he just returned from lunch and stepped out momentarily, then directs me to his office to wait.

I plop in a chair and look around—it looks much the same as it did when Ivan was here, but there are some differences in the way Sean organizes and I see he’s slowly molding the room to suit him. On the one hand that’s good. On the other, not so much. It wasn’t part of my plan to have him here more than a few months—he seemed so confident he could find the witch who’d cursed Ivan, I was hoping I’d be rid of him and his fascination with my mate sooner rather than later.

Maybe Dr. Myers is right. I’m adding exponentially to my own stress.

“Ian.” Sean extends a hand to me as he returns to his office, but the expression on his face is a bit strange. “What can I do for you?”

“Research.”

He takes a seat behind his desk. “Into?”

“Fae. I want to know everything you can find about them—medical, old historical, even anecdotal stories.”

There’s definitely something strange in Sean’s expression now. “Something going on, boss?”

As if I’d ever share with him if there was. “No. Just want more information so I can make things here in Candlewood safer and more comfortable for Darby. I’m sure you’re already tapping other sources about the vampire port last night.”

“I am. Among other things.”

“Do me a favor and see what you find.”

**

Sean    

Maybe I caught him in a meeting, I think, listening as my call to Silas rings a third time and debating hanging up. It’ll roll over to voicemail after the fourth ring, so really, no point in—

“Sean? Hey! What’s up?”

“Why do you sound like I’ve interrupted something?”

“You haven’t. I was getting up to get ready for work, but you’ve just given me a reason to crawl back in bed and love on my beautiful Luna.”

“Ungh.” It’s a disgusted groan. “You know it’s as weird knowing you have s*x as it is knowing our parents did.”

Silas bursts out laughing. “Whatever. How many times did I have to stomach it when you were banging some random girl as a teenager? Speaking of which, Edwardo tells me there isn’t a single Candlewood woman sharing your bed. How is that even possible?”

“Why am I not surprised you’re spying on me?” I chuckle and not because it’s funny. There’s no way in hell he’s getting the real answer. “New pack, new leaf, Silas.”

“Whatever. Please tell me you’re not still pursuing that— unhealthy option.”

“I’m pursuing my job, unlike you. I expected you’d already be at work, but I guess having a mate is making you fat and lazy.”

“Don’t knock it, Sean. Besides, nobody wants to talk to me these days. Ivan does all the work around here.”

“So I’ve noticed. I’ve got nine pending contracts for development in Ciudad d’Arena on my desk—condos, shopping center, housing development, a Little Life center. What the hell happened?”

“Ivan,” Silas snorts. “I thought when I agreed to this deal, I’d drawn the short stick—except the part about getting rid of you for a while. He spent about two weeks going through all the Second triumvir paperwork, driving out to different parts of town, talking to people. Then out of the blue he tells me he’s putting in a Tournament Players Club golf course in the worst part of town over the river. Before it was done, he had a tournament booked. Now we’ve got retirees flocking here for the beautiful weather, temperate climate and our fantastic golfing. Across the river, the human part of town is going through a revival, and the task force weres coming back from Candlewood with mates are wanting new housing for their future families.”

“That’s great, Silas.”

“Oh, shit.” I hear the rustle of blankets as he struggles to sit up. “What’s that mean? Are you going to screw this up for me?”

“No. It’s great. This alliance did exactly what I’d hoped it would for Desert and more.”

“Then why do you sound like you’re going to f**k it up?”

“I’m not going to f**k it up,” I deny, but there’s a part of me that doubts myself. “I can’t. The exchange hinges on me finding the witch that cursed Ivan. I still haven’t done that. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to.”

Silas detects the discouragement in my voice immediately. “Why?’

“There’re no resources here. Jack has been ruthless stamping out crime in all the communities in the Candlewood territory. He takes no quarter. There’s nobody dirty—even the vampires are—,” my lip pulls up in disgusted amazement, “—nice to people. I can’t get any leads.”

“I’ll lean on the stoolies here. Someone will have something we can use to connect the dots.”

“Thanks, Silas. I appreciate that. You know, it doesn’t sound like you want me back though.”

“Ivan’s been good for here, Sean. There’s no denying that. But you’re family, and this is your home, and when you’re ready, it’s here for you. It’ll be good to have you back.”

Home.

Three months ago that’s what Desert pack was to me.

Somewhere in the last twelve weeks of insanity— between monthly vamp attacks on the wards, Jack finding his mates, figuring out Lili’s charmed, recognizing the depths of the mysteries around Darby, beginning to sense some about Ian, and planning for the ridiculous triumvir mates ceremony—well, now Candlewood’s become home. And I don’t know how I’d leave it with my mate remaining here, even if I can’t claim her.

“Yeah, so find me some stool pigeons already then. And you better quit sending all the single guys from the task force. Ian’s starting to get pissed that he loses five females a month because they find mates from Desert.”

“Candlewood will recover. Besides, I’ve lost good men to him, including my Second triumvir.”

“Haven’t replaced Edwardo yet?”

“Nope. All the best guys aren’t willing to take the role since now it won’t rotate to Candlewood anymore. They don’t want to be stuck single.”

“That’s rude, Silas.”

My brother laughs. “Easy for you to say! You acquired one of my Second triumvirs. Desert males may be getting mates, but Candlewood is getting all my leadership.”

“Serves you right.” I glance at my watch. “Listen, I have to get to my first meeting in a few. Don’t forget about checking for some leads for me. Love to Kallie.”

“’Love to Kallie’,” he snorts. “Don’t be a d**k, Sean. Find your own mate.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I roll my eyes, annoyed by his not so subtle jab at my situation. As if I can help who Arianrhod gifts as my mate. “Talk to you later.”