Right Man, Worst Brother

I Have To Move On

Maya

~_~

Bree’s words linger in my head longer than I expect it to, even after she settles in next to Liam on the couch, wrapping herself around him like they've known each other for years.

“You're in love with Liam but he barely notices you. I guess looks aren't everything.”

It plays over and over in my head, like a song that never stops and has begun to lose its beat.

I force myself to breathe, to smile like nothing’s wrong, but my fingers tighten around the soda can in my hand.

Across the room, Ray watches me carefully. I know that look—it’s the same one he gives me whenever he sees through my bullshit.

"So," Bree says suddenly, tilting her head at me. "Liam tells me you guys have been friends forever. That’s cute."

I swallow the bitterness in my throat and nod. "Yeah. Since we were kids."

"That explains why you’re always around." Her tone is light, but there's a hint of sarcasm in it.

I keep my expression neutral. “Yeah, Liam can’t live without me.”

He smiles sweetly, then finally responds. “She’s my favorite Blanche, Ray has become boring.”

She hums, then shifts her attention back to Liam, running her fingers through his hair. "I love how soft your hair is."

Liam smirks, clearly eating up the attention. "Good genes."

Ray makes a disgusted noise. "Jesus, can you two not?"

Bree just laughs. "What? Afraid of a little PDA?"

"Afraid of throwing up," Ray mutters, taking a sip of his drink.

Liam rolls his eyes but doesn’t stop her. He never does.

And it makes me want to gag, he hates being touched and he hates everything she's doing right now but somehow he's letting it play.

I stare at the TV, pretending to watch whatever is on but I can’t focus. I'm not sure why this hurt more, this wasn't my first rodeo nor was it the first time I witnessed Liam be intimate with a girl.

Bree makes it hurt more–she is aware of my feeling for him and she's making sure I see why it will never work.

Bree isn’t even his type.

She’s loud, flashy, obnoxious and overbearing. But that doesn’t matter because she’s new and exciting. Just another girl he's earger to break. She’s a fresh distraction, a different pair of hands stroking his ego and maybe his c**k.

I watch as she trails her fingers along his jaw, tilting his face toward her. "You’re so handsome, you know that?"

Bitch everyone knows he's handsome. I thought to myself, several compliments to render and this airhead chose the most generic of them all.

Liam grins lazily. "I hear that a lot."

I roll my eyes at his answer, yes it hurt to see him with someone but this was sad to watch. They didn't have any chemistry, nothing asides physical attraction and the fact that the wanted to rub genitals with each other.

She giggles. "Cocky much?"

"You love it," he teases, shifting so his arm is around her waist, pulling her closer.

My stomach twists as she leans into him, her lips brushing his ear. He says something back, something low enough that I can’t hear it, and she laughs, pressing a hand to his chest.

Shit.

I hate this.

I hate how easily he does this, how effortlessly he falls into flirtation with girls he barely knows while I sit here pretending I don’t feel like a knife is being driven into my chest.

I hate that I’m still holding onto something that never existed in the first place. I hate that despite knowing they aren't going to last the night it still f*****g makes me mad.

I grip my soda tighter, focusing on the condensation on the can, the cold seeping into my palm. Anything to distract myself.

Ray is still watching me.

I can feel his gaze, heavy and knowing.

I don’t look at him. I can’t.

Instead, I clear my throat, forcing a smile. "I should go."

Liam barely glances at me. "What? Why?"

I shrug, keeping my tone easy. "I have work in the morning and a game to stream tonight."

"Since when do you care about being responsible?" he jokes.

I force a laugh. "Since I realized the bills need to be paid for"

Liam frowns like he’s about to argue, but Bree leans in, running her fingers along his collarbone, stealing his attention. "Let her go. More alone time for us. We just need to figure how to kick Ray out too."

I don’t wait for his response.

Ray stands up. "I’ll walk you out."

I don’t protest. We step outside together, the night air cool against my skin.

Ray shoves his hands into his pockets, glancing at me. "You okay?"

I nod. "Of course."

He doesn’t believe me.

We walk in silence for a minute before he finally sighs. "Maya, you can’t keep doing this to yourself."

"Doing what?" I ask, feigning ignorance.

He gives me a look. "You know what."

I swallow hard, my throat tight. "I don’t—"

"Maya." His voice is softer now, but firm. "He’s never going to see you that way."

I already know that. I’ve always known that. But hearing it out loud makes it feel so much worse.

I shake my head, pasting on my usual smile. "You worry too much."

Ray exhales, clearly frustrated, but he doesn’t push.

"Text me when you get home," he mutters instead.

I nod, turning away before he can see me break and confirm everything I've been denying.

~_~_~_~

I barely make it to my apartment before the weight of everything slams into me.

Bree was right.

I’m in love with Liam. And it’s pathetic.

I collapse onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I need to move on.

I have to learn to move on.

But how do you let go of something you’ve spent your entire life holding onto?

How do you let go of something you've never even had access to?

I don’t have an answer.

I really am pathetic.

So instead, I do the only thing I can—shove my feelings down and stream my games online.

I stare sweetly at my chair and smiled to myself. When life gives you heartbreak, kill some people on games.