Forced

Episode 12

Taehyung didn't know what made him go, but something pulled him to the church at seven the next morning. He hadn't slept, not even for a second. He was too traumatized. Every time Taehyung closed his eyes, he could feel Jungkook's hands enveloping his thighs. He could feel his body against himself. The thought of his sinful hands on him again made his stomach churn. Taehyung didn't usually go to church willingly but he couldn't ignore the morals his mother had drilled into his head any longer. He had witnessed something he shouldn't have. And he had done nothing about it. The events of the past four and a half months had burdened Taehyung's heart and soul. He had nothing else to turn to besides religion. He believed in God, without a doubt, he just questioned him sometimes. The ferocious wind nipped at Taehyung's nose as he trudged up the stone steps warily. No one seemed to be around at the early hour, yet the door was unlocked. He stepped inside as he rubbed the bags under his eyes. He hoped they weren't noticeable. The blonde boy took a seat in the last pew of the empty church. He guessed he could have sat anywhere but being close to the door made him feel like he had some kind of escape route. Every morning for the next few weeks, Taehyung went to the church. His parents didn't really notice his absence and if they did, they didn't care enough to ask him about it. It seemed like his mother was too concerned with his bratty little sister’s arrival home from her fancy boarding school in France, or was it Germany? It was one of those countries. He just didn't care enough to know. Taehyung's brother would be home soon as well. He envied his brother's freedom.

He was no longer stuck with their ludicrous parents. He was jealous of that in a way. If Taehyung didn't have his parents he would be in California, living out his dreams. He would be doing what he wanted to. There was a part of him that was a little bit scared to have his freedom. Taehyung was so used to being controlled that he thought he'd do something crazy if he was suddenly free. Even though he had that bit of doubt in his mind, he was sure that getting away from everyone was exactly what he wanted to do. He didn't think he could handle playing the part he was forced to any longer. Taehyung was a puppet. His strings were pulled by his parents and he had no control. He couldn't be himself, he couldn't be happy, because of the way he was being forced to live. Whether it was what he was going to eat for lunch, or where he was going to live, the decisions in his life have not been up to him. Even the minuscule sections of his life had been invaded. His personality, his thoughts, and his ideas have been shoved inside him and forced to hide. Taehyung wasn't allowed to be himself with his parents and that was the end of it. It wasn't even that he couldn't be himself, they didn't want him to be happy. All he wanted to do was enjoy life but instead he had to suffer through it. Taehyung didn't pray that much at church, he kind of just mulled over the fact that his life was going to be stolen from him once again. When he was seeking help from God, he found no such thing. He felt like he was talking to a wall. Taehyung was asking for help, for guidance, but he was given nothing. He was waiting for something, a sign that everything would be fine. A sign that his sister and brother would make it home okay, his parents would be more accepting, and that he would have the courage to take control of his life. Taehyung was also desperately looking for a way to escape the monster that was Jungkook. Jungkook was coming for him, he'd made that clear enough, but Taehyung didn't know what to do.