Hanging Fire

Chapter Two: Wallflower

Noa;16

Jinnie’s mother, Malia, always wanted a kitchen that made her feel like she was entering a fairytale greenhouse. Which she equipped with double stained-glass doors that locked. From the very second, I saw her flowers dangling from the ceiling, and how the pattern from her doors bounced off her semitransparent glass walls; like the way water does in a pool house, I have fantasized about my own locked kitchen.

A dream room for eating.

It’s also the only place that Danny can ever successfully barricade him and me away from these things.

My happy place.

“You got to chill out, Noa,” comes Danny’s warning. He’s calm, sitting sprawled straight out on Malia’s kitchen island with his back propped up against the wall, underneath her calendar.

As if I have lifted a veil from my eyes, I see the monster I’ve become. Looking down at the food in my hands, the yellow crumbled papers, and then the small brown boxes tossed upside down, empty.

It’s guilt, I think that pings me hard.

I look ridiculous eating like a damn—Ha! What am I saying?! No, I don’t!

Winking at Danny, I continue to stuff my face, because like I give a rat’s ass! It’s not like I look like I eat a lot.

Take my blood! We’ll probably find out I’m dying. I don’t actually care to know right now, though.

“You’re a beast,” he murmurs with a mixture of shock and intrigue. He forces a tight smile, and a short laugh that could be mistaken for a sigh.

I can tell somethings’ off with Danny. Especially when he peers at me, and then ever so slowly moves his head back straight ahead. He’s looking at the people out there. Watching their silhouettes through the kitchen doors.

“Daniel, you can go play.” I say it in a teasing, stereotypical, snobby-mother tone, but I’m being honest. I have food and I have my phone to keep me entertained.

He turns his head to watch me finish off my last burger.

I stare back.

It’s a staring contest.

He isn’t going to admit it is, unless I blink first, and it means he’s the winner.

Time passes and right as a breeze comes to strike me down as the loser, he pulls away from our stare first, chuckling. There’s no word of our game since he lost, and I already knew there wouldn’t be.

“I’m not going out there until you’ve put yourself in your usual food coma.”

“I don’t put myself into a coma that’s not” — Suddenly I feel like going to sleep. I feel a little woozy even, like I’ve drank.

“Man, imagine what you would have put away if you would have smoked.”

“Oh, thanks, wise one that’s younger than me! I don’t know how I would have traveled any further without your intellectual ways.”

Danny was the one who had asked me not to go talk to Colton. Instead, he brought me here.

“I didn’t think you’d be able to handle eating like that! Are you aware of what you’re doing right now!?”

Danny doesn’t actually care that I’m a ferocious pig.

He just wants me to be healthy.

Which I guess means he does—care, it’s just that he’s not judging about it. I don’t seem to gross him out.

“Fine. I’ll go be a wallflower and watch you go find someone to make out with?

“I would be happy to do that, Miss. Day, please let us sashay in the front room! A couch has your name on it!”

He’s kidding, but he jumps off and grabs me up like we’re about to ballroom dance. It’s not smooth or attractive. All he’s doing is jerking my body around like a rag doll.

“Noa?” He says my name a little breathy, worn from all the erratic dancing.

His hand folds with mine up in the air, his other around my waist, like we’re about to slow dance.

“Yeah, what’s up, Danny?”

“I do want to go out there.” He whispers tightly, as if afraid of my reaction.

“And go!” I pretend to twirl and toss him toward the door. He shuffles backward laughing, but there’s an expression on his face that looks sad still.

Disappointed.

“Bye!” I say waving him off and turn to sit back down at the Hest’s small round table I had been eating at.

Danny lets himself think about something for a grip before he nods, and slams his fist together.

“Yeah, alright cool. Whenever you’re leaving, come find me.”

“I will.”

“I’m serious, Noa.” His warning tone again and I have to roll my eyes.

“I know you are. Just go on, Danny, before everyone is too drunk to remember you actually had fun with them.”

Before I have time to realize Danny hasn’t left, he’s behind me. His big, veiny hands sliding over the top of mine as he leans above me.

“Everyone…” he says raking a thumb over mine, “wants you to have some fun too.”

I lean into his arms because I know for just a moment, I’ll feel what it is he wants me to experience. His wish for me to have fun, and be included.

I watch his fingers slide between mine for a brief second before he pulls back and starts for the doors.

I am struck silent by the weird feeling I’m getting in my stomach.

What is this about?

“Noa, if you change your mind…and you leave, you better come find me first.”

He knows I won’t. I will sit here for a little, then go find Jinnie and tell her goodbye, then do the same with Courtney. I will then avoid Danny before he ruins his night, or ends it early because of me.

That’s not something I want.

I think of the walk home I’ll be taking later and smile, with a cozy feeling in the middle of my chest.

I imagine the muggy air.

Wet, graveling roads.

Petrichor.

The darkness. Which is the only other happy place I have besides Malia’s kitchen, and the one I keep inside my head. I’m always inside my head. It’s why they’re so worried about me enjoying myself.

I start to clean up once I see the door close behind Danny; forcing all the cheeseburger wraps into the nugget boxes for a swifter pick up.

Click.

I hear the door open and shut, but I don’t turn to see him.

“What, you came back for me?”

I spin around, the intention to bat my lashes at him; trying to will all the beauty I have into my two huge saucers.

“Holy s**t!” I throw my hand flat against my chest out of fear. “You’re not, Dan — who I thought you were.” I stutter, looking at a guy who’s just as wide eyed as me. He’s tall and broad, but not all around big. He’s leaner from the waist down. Reminding me of a baseball players shape…that and of Danny. Yet there’s something brighter about this guy. His hair is similar, wild, and wavy, just a little shorter except for it being blonde. A shade or two darker than mine, sandy.

His eyes are blue.

Like mine.

“Sorry, I didn’t know this room was occupied.” He apologizes but makes little to no effort to leave. I feel my cheeks warming.

Did he think I had another guy in here? The idea of this makes me more embarrassed, so the adrenaline builds at my wrists.

Don’t get angry…

Don’t get upset…

“It’s not like that! I was just eating!” With the crumbled papers and boxes still in my hand, I hold them up. Literally double fisting up the trash to show him.

I even shake them at him as if he can’t clear as cheeks see all the evidence!

I want to face palm.

Actually, slap me. Maybe beat my head in with a brush like Courtney does when she’s stressed doing her makeup.

The guy raises a hand, pursing his lips to think of a response, but already I’m too much for him and he’s on a constant shuffle in his head. I just know he’s flipping through every hard drive, and file he’s ever stored up there. Maybe even unlocking a few before he rhetorically asks,

“You ate all—of that!?”

He’s not Danny. He’s not allowed to have that reaction.

“So, the hell what!” I crease my brows inward, squinting at him, adding a locked jaw to get my point across before having to speak it.

He waves his hands in caution.

I don’t have the wrong idea and I know this jock is about to tell me that I do.

“Yeah…” he says biting his teeth together, “that came off dickish.”

That’s not what I thought he’d say…

I gape at him.

Is he serious?

Maybe this is what Jinnie also means about me being a b***h.

I don’t give anyone a chance.

I take a deep breath and blow out a tremendous gust of air, uncaring how dramatic I looked to this guy. He’s a stranger. He watches me and gives me a cockeyed glance. I watch his blues roam my body and then smirk when he’s finished.

“You may leave now.” I say firmly and his eyes shoot to mine.

“Is this your house?”

I can feel the rage in my shoulder blades now. Manifesting themselves into wings of fury, I’m about to leash on this asshole.

“No.” I glower. “I am the best friend of the owner, and this kitchen is my happy place, so I’d like for you to exit the happy place.”

He brightens. A reaction I didn’t expect, leaving me wandering what he’s smiling like the Cheshire Cat for. I watch his eyes go from me to around the room. He’s taking it in now.

“Oh, s**t…this is a kitchen.” I see the fascination in his expression as he turns around to get the full three-sixty.

“No shit.” I motion to the obvious corner of appliances side by side. Again, he looks at me and grins wider.

“I take it you’re not the friendly type.”

“I take it you’re the intrusive type?”

He raises a brow.

“Just friendly.”

It’s then I can’t help but realize the door has time to close.

“Mr. Friendly, why are you alone wandering around in rooms, anyway?”

He rubs a hand over his jaw, and then across the back of his head before he blows all the air out of his body the same way I had earlier.

Is he trying to mock me?

I have to look at the floor.

He’s not mocking you, Noa.

He’s not trying to be mean.

You’re taking this the wrong way.

“I’m sorry.” He says with awareness in his tone that he might have upset me, but I stay silent and let him make his next move. Once he says his peace and leaves, I’m out of here, anyway. I’m stuffed and have an appointment for a fat ass nap, so all I want is to wrap this meeting up.

“Look, I wasn’t like snooping around.” He explains.

“Creepy.”

“I wasn’t—I was trying to find just a quiet room to breathe in for a second.”

I can’t help but look behind him at the door. It’s loud. The music is set up so well that you can feel it thumping under your feet. My ears ring as I focus in on all the people. It’s still pretty packed, although it’s well after one in the morning. Last year, everyone was passed out by twelve. Look at them priming their pumps.

“That’s something that I can actually understand.” I finally say, shutting my eyes. It’s easier to calm down.

“Yeah? Is that why you stayed here in your happy place for the entire party?”

“I didn’t stay the entire party.”

“I didn’t see you.”

“There are like a kagillion people here! You missed me. I was probably with Court or Jinnie. Maybe Danny.”

“Is Danny your boyfriend?”

I blush, the back of my neck steaming.

“No. He’s my best friend, though.”

The stranger nods like he’s taking some mental notes for a pop quiz.

“We’ll. I don’t believe you. That you were actually out there.” He jests, causing my bottom jaw to hang slack.

“Why is that unbelievable? I’ll have you know I am the best friends to the girls”—

“I would have seen you.” He interrupts, his face a little serious now. He steps closer, and stops until we’re just the kitchen island width apart, sliding his hands into the front of his pockets. “I would have definitely noticed you.”

“Wow, you’re after the creep reward tonight, huh?”

He smiles at me big, “I’m after something.”

I get a frigid chill that travels down the back of my arms, into my hips.

“Okay, sir. Nice meeting you, but I was actually getting ready to clean up and get ready to call my ride.”

I’m not about to let this freak know I’m walking home. I turn and grab a towel from Malia’s counter to dust off my crumbs when I see Mr. creepy stranger get closer. Tensing, I look at him from the corner of my eye, wandering what else he wants.

“Your name.”

“My name?”

“It’s what I’m after.”

“Oh.” All the air has been pushed from my body.

Who. The. f**k. Is. This. Guy!?

“Ha, so what is it?”

“Noa.” I give up.

“Noa. That’s” —

“A boys’ name?”

“It suits you.”

I lift my lip in a scowl at him, but I decide I don’t have time nor care what Yellow boy thinks.

“You don’t want mine?”

“What could I want?” I question genuinely.

“My name,” he laughs, and it’s… nice. He has such a contagious grin, that I can’t stop from catching as I feel a smile slip out.

Shit.