Hanging Fire

Chapter Eight: I’ll Start With Your Name

It was clockwork for my father to warn me endlessly of women. It was natural for him to go on wailing about being a good man, then continue on with whatever the hell he wanted. He was a good person, pitiful, but a terrible father none the less.

"You meet anyone?" He'd asked me on my first day of sixth grade, while he sat at the kitchen table. He was eating when I came in and I slumped down into the wooden chair across from him, and pulled my schoolwork from my book bag. I'd been extremely nervous because it was our local school. A year before, my father had always enrolled James and me into a better school. One willing to open enroll us called Whitewater, which was about 20 minutes away from our house.

"No." I responded. "I sat in the back. Everyone there already seems close." Then I opened up one of the new textbooks we'd been assigned.

"That's because they'd gone to the district since pre-school. Don't let it bother ya" My dad had managed a warm, positive smile. I took it for granted. Back then, I'd seen his drinking as a nuisance, but couldn't imagine it getting any worse. Twelve-year-olds know it can. I wasn't stupid. I simply never thought it would lead him to be practically disabled. My father had done everything in the house, he at this point was considered a functioning alcoholic. He worked for a Union making close to thirty dollars an hour and had full benefits. He drove a company truck and even owned his own that he allowed James to drive.

And I was clueless that he was losing it all and that's why I was in my local middle school now. To be fair, I don't think I cared. I was already done with this part of my life and dreamed of being older. Time moved slowly and miserably.

I remembered my mother. I also remembered my sister, and how she cried for me the last day I saw her. My sister having to leave replayed incessantly over in my mind.

I was a very numb, boring child. I disliked everyone; inched away from friendships immediately. It was a good thing too since I wound up changing schools.

After a month of classes, October 3rd, on her thirteenth birthday is when I noticed her.

"Come to our party!" A petite black girl, with bright caramel-colored eyes, and sharp cheekbones, kept singing to everyone in our class until she got to my desk. Her dirty blonde—maybe brunette—friend, I couldn't tell she liked to wear a crotched beret then; came bounding up beside her with hungry looking eyes.

She instantly annoyed me.

"Yeah, come! Well, have cake and a buffet! She loves to eat! So that means she won't be any problem" the way they described it, I wondered if they were throwing this party for their dog. Jinni handed over the yellow invitation in her hands. It was a simple notecard with balloons on the front and words that said, "Let's celebrate!" I flip it to the other side and read:

Noa's thirteenth!

Let's go skating!

And the only probable response I could muster was, "There's three of you?" in a complete, accidental sneer.

"Oh!" the creepy girl said in a half laugh and smiled widely, showing teeth. "Noa's not like Jinnie and I." She says this like a promise that she's worse.

That seemed doubtful.

I look back down at the invitation and read the location is at Skate World.

"I can't say I'm not intrigued by that claim," I tell Jinnie's friend.

"Awesome!" Says Jinnie, smiling and pulling her friend back from me, sensing I want more space.

"Court lets go." She says to her softly, her eyes still on me. The creepy girl named Court backed off.

"Remember, it's after school at five to nine!" Jinnie reminds and I'm left gathering my stuff for the walk home.

It's a shower outside. The rain turning the town into white static.

I looked to see if James might have waited for me to get out of school, since he gets out almost thirty minutes earlier than me.

But no luck, and when I try to call him on the ruddy little flip phone I had, I still got nothing from James.

I braced the rain and started the walk.

I was going to be sick by the time I got home.

It was a mile or two later. A damn good distance to go when a familiar blue Honda pulled up beside me.

"What do you think you're doing!?"

It was James, and he had a face of pure bewilderment.

I held up my phone. "I tried to call you,"—

"And you didn't give me time to call back; what is your problem? I'm not going to make my little brother walk home in a storm!"

I got in the passenger of his car, a smile on my face.

"Dad isn't home from work yet. I got home early," He explained. "Made dinner."

"Let me guess spaghetti?"

He smirked, "It's lobster and T-bones, you bastard."

It wasn't long before we were home when James said, "oh man, you won't believe who I saw when I left to come get you. Look over at the blue house on the street before ours."

I didn't get what James meant until it was there in my face.

A girl from our neighborhood.

She was pale blonde and held the meanest look a girl could have on her. She was pulling out a bike from her garage and when she turned around, her green tee shirt, sheer from rain, showed us double D breasts.

If you only get one slow motion moment in your life, this would be mine.

Because James drove by so slowly past this girl's house, we had time to watch her bound her bike in this storm and face it like it been a sunny day.

James died laughing over it.

"Where you think she's going?" He'd asked somehow between cackles.

It was then that James had passed her by and turned onto our street.

By the time we pulled into our driveway, she'd done turned and was passing by us.

"Girl can move. She seems annoyed." James had concern in his tone, validating my own assuming feelings.

Where was she going in a severe thunderstorm?

Was she okay?

Like instinct, I walked to our garage, pulled out my bike and flew out of there. I peeked behind quick enough to see James' mouth had dropped.

Had I ever done this before? Tail someone on a bike? No.

There were kids at my old school who did this to me. I was never the type to go out my way, but with this girl and her short, white, chopped hair, and big boobs; I needed to be her friend. It was that simple. I wanted to know her name.

Of course, I never caught up to her.

Instead, I went back home, soaked. I headed for the shower. While the water ran to warm, I undressed and just before I stepped in from the corner of my eye...something white peeking from my jeans caught my attention.

A mushy notecard.

Noa's thirteenth birthday!

That girl looked about our age—despite the huge t**s, everything about her screamed she was still a kid. Maybe she'd be there. Or maybe someone who knows her will be there? I wasn't going to find much out about this girl if I didn't go out and meet some people. Jinnie and her creepy friend seem to be popular. I'm sure if anyone knew who this girl was, it would be them and they were the ones to invite me.

Is what I thought, then told, and convinced myself.

After I showered, I dressed in my best outfit. Which was just a gray Abercrombie pullover and some loose skinny jeans. It was 2008, for the record and to my defense—my hair growing, and swooping, I was never getting told I was ugly back then.

I asked James for a ride, who, to my surprise, agreed. As soon as he heard where and why.

I told him skate world...he'd grinned like I was being a devious s**t and then asked, "a girl?" I said "sure." He then got up, swinging his keys beside him.

Inside Skate World, the music was loud, but the people cheering and talking were louder. A fishbowl arena of blades scraping what looked like a basic wooden floor.

It smelled like a dusty basement and sweat.

The only decent smell being their food. Popcorn, pretzels, pizza...

Inside they had a sign-in sheet for the birthday party and had me take a wrist band which would allow me skates when I made it past the front desks.

Once I made it past the initial crowd, I saw them.

A s**t ton of kids from school.

I swallowed my throat and felt my right foot take a step back.

"You made it!"

I shuddered. I didn't have to turn to know who that voice was. Creepy girl.

Court. I'd attempted to remember her name.

Then when I turned around to face her—green is what I saw first.

Dry.

Not soaked and not see through.

I felt my face turn hot. I knew I was blushing, so I scratched the back of my head, avoiding her eyes. I looked at Court.

"Yep. I figured it was best to meet other people who go to our school." I answered honestly, pretty baffled at how easy my plan to find this girl was.

Then I looked at her.

She wasn't paying any attention to me. She had her eyes low, arms crossed. Waiting for Court to be done talking to me so they could move on.

I faltered inside.

"That's what we always say!" Court cheered excitedly. "Jinnie invites everyone because it's our job as head of the class to welcome everyone. We're in cheer too!"

"I feel welcomed." I assure awkwardly. Court passes a look back at the girl in green, whose name I am dying to ask for. She shrugs back at Court; still ignoring my existence.

"Food." The girl in green says, then turns straight around and walks back toward the front where I notice the concession.

Could I go there? Would it be obvious? I'd wondered, desperate to follow her.

"She's a barbarian. Don't mind her, she's birthday girl spoiled."

I look past Court. To look at my Tinker Bell, who's taken a seat on a stool getting her order taken from the attendant.

There's no way Court's close with this girl for her to really know who she is. I doubt she can help me.

"Drink." I said, mimicking her friend, and walked off. I didn't even look back to see her face.

As I strolled up besides ...birthday girl...what the hell was the name on that card!? I'd thought, realizing I couldn't remember. I felt in the pockets of my pants and quickly realized I'd left the invitation at home.

I still didn't know her name.

Still, I continued to walk toward her.

Her face seemed to glow. Her cheeks were high but puffy, rosy. Her nose was short, buttoned. Lips a perfect Cupid's bow, blotched pink.

Then I was behind her, a little off to the side. Admiring her for a second too long, I admit.

Upon closer look at her hair, I notice it stopped a little past her chin. It was thick and had been chopped unevenly. I assumed she's the one who cuts it herself.

Her hair is much more yellow than white, like I initially thought, but still it was the lightest shade of a golden blonde there was.

"Are you having a bad birthday?" I asked her. She lifted her head, perking up, and looked at me curiously.

"Who are you?" She asked, a little annoyed.

"Daniel." I said, finally sitting on the stool next to her.

"Danny. Huh, I like it." She huffed, and I didn't correct her.

Sure. I thought. I'll be Danny. My family calls me it. Why not her?

"Yours?"

Her eyes widen.

"Wow, you're new—new." She looks behind her for a minute, squinting before she looks back and smiles at me.

"You didn't get... told, or roped into coming over here?" She asked with obvious disgust. I knew if I answered wrong, I'd screw this chance up.

"I was very roped. I was roped very har—um, nope. I am not going to go there with you." I laughed nervously. She eyed me, then grinned.

"Roped hard, huh?" She tried clarifying.

I could die. I thought. Why would I say that to her? She could hate me for something like that. It was rude...childish. Too friendly.

"You're going to sit there and watch me stuff my face, Danny boy?" She raised a brow as the concessioner came back with two round trays, with over five red and white stripes food take out boxes on each one.

I watched as he sat them in front of her, calling back her order to be sure he didn't have anything wrong.

She had two small sliders, fries, onion rings, chicken strips, wings, a pizza, pretzels...that didn't include the added sides as she devoured her feast.

"I really should have gotten the cookies." She sighed sadly.

"Oh, what's stopping you? You've barely eaten!" I told her sarcastically.

She turned to me. Her chin was a shining, greasy mess as she grinned; a giggle rumbled in her chest.

"I think you should help me eat this." She offered.

I stared down at her and then at the food and shrugged, "I mean sure, since cookies are a possibility if I do."

We sat and ate, and mostly in silence, but that hadn't made this awkward. At least not for me, and I didn't sense that she might have been feeling that way either. The moment the thought even creeped into my head it vanished because she said,

"Let's leave, Danny."

"Leave?"

She grabs my wrist and pulls me off my seat to the front doors. Before I know it, we're behind the building and she's kicking back and lets out a breath.

"What do you think of me?" She asked.

And as I'm looking at her, all I can think to say is — "You got big boobs."

She froze, her mouth slightly apart, before she laughed. A scoff turned to a laugh. It was hard to read how she was taking what I said.

I...was not taking what I said good either. It honestly slipped out.

"So, what!? That's not me!" She crossed her arms as if hiding her chest but seemed to think about this and dropped her arms. She doesn't look at me, she looks up at the sky. The wind blew her hair back, and I realized her face was pretty.

"I'm sorry...I don't know why I blurted that out."

She shook her head and hand at me. Dismissing me.

"You're cool. It's just embarrassing to have these. I don't match these things. If I could give half to Jinnie and the other to Courtney, I would."

"I think they look great on you," I say stupidly.

She rolled her eyes.

"Usually, I'd threaten to stab a fork through your thigh's artery for saying that."

That's when I laugh.

"What's so funny?" She stares at me.

"Your friends. They said you weren't like them."

"I'm not. I only know them because of us living near each other since we were kids."

"Really?" This took me by surprise. I have lived in Somerset my entire life...and I'd never seen her. Not until James pointed her out.

Not until we started going to public school.

Had we really been so sheltered?

"I live on Stone Throw."

Her face crumples a little with familiarity.

"In my neighborhood?"

I nod.

"Oh, so you've saw me before?"

"No. Today was the first time I've ever saw you." I told her the truth, and she eyed me with disbelief. Then smirked.

"Why haven't any of us ever seen you around?"

"I went to Whitewater Academy. My brother, James, and me. He's older, so he's in the high school."

"I got a brother. Mikey. High school too."

"So, when you say grew up in the same neighborhood...that means Jinnie and Court," I said her name with disdain, "live nearby?"

"They're my best friends, I guess. Jinnie lives on the first street, Court's on the second and I'm on the third."

"I guess I'm the fourth?"

Her pupils dilated, and her lips shot up in a curious little, pursed, quiver.

"Are you trying to be our friend?"

"Just yours!" I said all too quickly.

"You want to be my friend?" She asked. "Why?"

I searched her eyes. There was something similar in her to me. I could feel it when I looked at her. When I looked at her, I couldn't shake the feeling like she was my mirror image. A counterpart. A rib.

It was a silly thought then.

I want you.

I didn't even know what that meant. I only thought I did.

"I want to be your friend." I said, "but I think I'll start with getting your name. I sort of forgot it on the invitation." I admitted to her, and she once again laughed at me, then licked her lips with a blushing, glowing, smile.

"Noa Day Collins, but I don't like Collins...so Noa Day is fine."

I hadn't known it then that she didn't blush or smile for anyone.

Only for me.