The Widow and the Gamers

Is this just a Dream? Part II

“Uh, well, I didn’t realize it was the first of its kind for one. For two, I got the idea because of the commission. The person wanted an 18+ story with your friend, which made me realize there weren’t many stories with you. I thought it was weird, especially because I found quite a few with Liam, which I could not believe. I have had some things happen that have made me lonely beyond reason. I don't want to get into that. Mostly because I don’t think you want to know that anyway. I had a dream one night about you and wrote it. That is probably the worst thing I have had to say so far. Everything in the story was in my dream.”

“Wow. It came to you in a dream? If I hadn’t heard you say that, I wouldn’t have believed you. I would like to know one thing though. What made you so lonely that you had to write about someone you have never even talked to? We have all had our low points, but this feels different.”

“I don’t mind telling you, but it’s a tear-jerker. ”

“Was it divorce? A breakup? Or did someone close to you die?”

Feeling my throat tighten, I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “Why are you so curious? Not that I can talk, but this seems abnormal for a stranger to want to know so much about someone.”

“It also sounds like you could use a person to talk to. Am I wrong?”

“I have people I can talk to if I need it. I choose not to talk to them. Talking never helps at all, and some things you can’t talk about. No one knows exactly what I do. They just know I write for a living. I can’t tell anyone that I write people's fantasies. I choose not to talk. I hate talking really, I wanted to talk on the phone with you because it was easier than going back and forth on email for a week when we can just talk for an hour.”

“You don’t like talking? You have said a lot for someone who doesn’t like to talk.”

“I realize that and I don’t know why I am talking so damn much. I hate talking. I find it mundane and useless most of the time. I only talk to people that I care about normally so a few family members and a couple of friends. Oh, and my kids of course.”

“That is interesting. Talk to me, maybe a new person can help. What happened that hurt you so badly?”

“I…I am a widow. I have been for about nine months now.”

He let out a breath. “That is heavy. I can see why you were holding it back. That would make someone extremely lonely. I’m sorry you went through that. On top of that, you have kids?”

“Yes.” I replied softly. “A 14-year-old and an 11-year-old.”

“I can’t imagine. Are you ok? I can hear you crying.”

Feeling my cheek, I realized I was crying, “I didn’t know I was. I’m sorry, I don’t cry ever. I don’t know why I am.” The more I talked, the harder I cried. It was like letting a damn go “I’m sorry” I whispered into the phone.

“Don’t be sorry. Sometimes people who are not connected to the thoughts in your mind, are the best to talk to.”

“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I am losing my mind in front of a stranger.”

“Hi, my name is Antony, what’s yours?”

The tears were slowing and I laughed slightly. “Hi Antony, my name is Vanessa, I go by V.”

“Now we are not strangers. Where do you live? It sounds like America from your voice.”

“I am American. I live in Maine on the coast. What about you? I haven’t heard it on a video.”

“California. Opposite sides of the U.S.”

“Yeah, we are. Any more questions for me, Antony?”

“Yes, I do have more questions. You made your story so in-depth, was that intentional, or did inspiration just hit and this is what transpired?”

“You talk as if you understand the process of writing. Not in a way like you read a lot, but more as if you write. It was unintentional by the way, I have times when I can write for hours at a time. “

“I like to write. I hope to have a book published someday.”

“Not what I expected from a gamer, I didn’t expect much if I’m being honest. I don’t like gamers at all. That's another thing that makes this whole situation so weird.”

“Don’t like gamers? Seems a little mean if you ask me.”

“I haven’t met many that are good people. Most that I have hung out with or tried to be friends with are horrifying.”

“I can see why you wouldn’t want to be near gamers if that is your experience. Why don’t you come to California next time my friends fly in? Maybe all of us can change your mind.”

“When is that happening? I would need to make sure someone could take care of the kids and dogs.”

“A week from Saturday. Can you manage?”

I thought for a moment, “Yeah, I think I can.”

“OK, I’ll get a hold of you soon then. Talk to you later.”

“Yeah, talk to you later.” The phone call ended and I couldn’t help but stand there staring at the phone for a while. Did that whole conversation happen? Shaking my head, I noticed it was almost time for the kids to be home. Putting the phone away, I started getting ready for their arrival.