I Hear You (Death Prediction Project #1)

Chapter 6:Porter

I stepped outside Ryker’s dorm room, excitement still coursing through my veins. I leaned against the wall trying to catch my breath. I covered my mouth as if the smile on my face could give me away and reveal what happened with Ryker.

After meeting Maya, and him not knowing if he knew her, I thought for a while he was lying and that there used to be something with them but regardless of all that now, he liked me. I wondered what it was like for Ryker to kiss me while listening to my life song, for me most of my life was lived in silence but for him, everyone had their own song and rhythm through life and death until their heart stopped beating, then there was silence.

I knew he heard the songs, but I hadn't asked what they really sounded like. I wonder if he could play some on the piano. It was weird thinking your life could be summed up in one song or beat, but I guess to some people that would be like listening to their favourite song. I’d never really had a favourite song, the music I liked was ever-growing and my favorite song was always changing.

I finally stood up straight and resumed my walk back to my dorm on the third floor, I lay down on my bed smiling up at the ceiling. I liked him regardless of his strange power, or what everyone else, including his own father, thought. People are born different every day, we are all unique, it’s the world that shuns us and makes us weird, and different.

I hoped my parents liked him, I already wanted to bring him home for Thanksgiving or Christmas break for them to meet. It didn’t sound like Ryker left campus much during the holidays so I’m sure he’d enjoy a break from the school and the people here, more so the bullies than anyone else.

I’m wishing I’d stayed in his room longer but we both had homework that wouldn’t do itself. I got up from the bed and sat at the desk in the room with my textbooks, questions, and paper and started. When I finished my homework, it was almost 7:00 pm. I was tempted to go back to Ryker’s room and see him again or sneak out with him again.

I couldn’t wait for the weekend when we’d have two and a half days to ourselves. Other than doing laundry I wanted to spend it with Ryker. Maybe we could have a night out on the town. Stay out until 2:00 am, or something.

I was beaming with too much excitement still to sleep. I’d never had my feelings be returned by a boy before. I had been threatened for even looking at them before. But Ryker understood being an outcast, so regardless of how I felt for him now or in the future, we would always have that understanding of each other.

I eventually fell asleep around eleven watching the moon high in the sky. A little less than half, semi-circular, yellow, white, and gray. Ryker could probably see the same moon only he was a little more in line with it since he was on a higher floor.

I woke up to the rising sun the next morning and my alarm blaring. I rolled over and slammed my hand into the clock, for a second I was worried I’d broken it, but once I inspected it, I found it to be fine. I hopped out of bed, excited to get back up to the seventh floor to see Ryker. I get dressed in black jeans, a gray t-shirt, and my letterman jacket with black runners that had white souls. I fixed my short black hair in the mirror before gathering my things together for classes and putting them by the door.

I had football practice after school today so I wouldn’t be joining Ryker in the music room until after 4:30 pm. I couldn’t wait for tomorrow, it was Friday, and we could leave campus for lunch or dinner and stay out later without worrying about someone ridiculing us over the rules like they would have if it were a school night.

I set my bag by the door and exit, locking it behind me and make my way to the stairs.

“Where you going, homo?” I hear Julian's comment.

“Why do you care? It’s none of your business,” I spit back.

“I bet he’s going to see his boyfriend,” one of the other guys comments after.

“Ryker and Porter sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” another is taunting.

“Stop it,” I state calmly, slightly annoyed.

“So, here’s the deal, you stop being friends with that freak and we won’t tell the school you are boyfriends,” Julian states. “You can even hang out with us.”

“Ryker isn’t a freak. Even if he was, I’d rather be friends with him than you, you guys are d***s,” I reply.

“He hears music coming from people, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but that’s not normal,” Julian states using air quotes, I hate those air quotes, I want to break his fingers so he can’t use them to make those air quotes again.

“You’re the type of people who would tease a deaf or blind kid, he’s different. News flash for you, we are all different. None of us looks, sounds, or likes all of the same things,” I retort.

“Once a fag, always a fag. I tried to save you. You could have enjoyed your high school career. But you want to be friends with the freak so now I’m going to make your life hell,” he replies.

Regardless of what I did, Ryker would still be targeted by them, and I wouldn’t leave him to suffer alone.

“I’ll take my chances with him,” I state turning away and going through the door to the stairs.

I climb the stairs quickly, hoping they aren’t following me. I pause before the door to the seventh floor to catch my breath, I open the door and walk down to Ryker’s room. I pause before his door and stare at the carved “Pied Piper” another shrill reminder of Julian and his bullying.

I knock and it takes several seconds before Ryker opens the door. His brown hair is still messed up from the hours of sleep overnight and he doesn’t have socks or shoes on yet. He lets me in and closes the door behind me.

Once we are alone I instantly want to kiss him again, to fill the void of hatred that has just been lobbed into my atmosphere by Julian and his friends. I don’t want to be too pushy or clingy either though.

“Just give me a minute,” Ryker states as he goes back to the bathroom to fix his hair.

I sit down on his bed examining his room in greater detail. He has a red, blue, and black plaid blanket on his bed and the pillows are dark blue. The frame is made of dark-coloured wood and the floor is oak here as opposed to the carpeted floors we have downstairs. His walls are much more plain colours than the green in my room, too. He has a keyboard in one corner across from the head of his bed, his dresser is behind the door and his desk is next to the window. In between his dresser and keyboard is the entrance to his bathroom which is completely white, with white tile, bath and floor, white countertop, sink, and toilet. The only other colour is silver on the faucet and showerhead.

Ryker exits the bathroom, shutting off the light making the small room dark, and starts looking for his socks and shoes. Once he finds them he comes back over to the bed and sits beside me to put them on.

Today he is wearing a red and black Spiderman shirt, and blue jeans, he must have his contacts in again because his glasses are still nowhere in sight and his black runners again. He ties the runners into bows in an odd way, not the usual “whole rabbit runs around a tree” method. He has a navy-blue sweater with a gray hood over the Spiderman shirt.

He finally turns to me, he must find my silence odd.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Julian and his pals were just being jerks again,” I reply, honestly.

“Did they hurt you?” he questions.

“No, they may be a little less inclined to pick on me because I’m bigger, part of the football team and they know I can outrun them now,” I reply looking down at the floor.

“What did they do?” he asks.

“They were just being assholes. They wanted me to drop you, they said if I did, they’d let me be their friend and hook me up with "a good high school experience," a load of bullshit, really,” I reply. “They kept calling you a freak, you’re not a freak.”

He looks at me sadly. I don’t know if it’s for the fact that he thinks I’m missing out on some great high school party that most of the people who are well-liked or in the middle of the food chain get to go to and have fun at or for the fact that I’m as much a victim as he thinks he is to Julian and his friends.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did it,” he murmurs.

“I would,” I comment. “That’s a d**k move. Being nice to you, saying I want to learn piano and confessing to you that I like you and then dumping you, and for what? Some people who claim to be my friends but don’t actually give two shits about me and will probably forget me after they graduate?”

I reach over and take his hand.

“I have a better chance with you because you actually care about me. Regardless of whether or not it works out in the end, you care now, the only reason they want me to be their friend is to hurt you more,” I finish.

His face brightens and he blushes a bit.

“Let’s go get breakfast,” I say getting up, still holding his hand.

He grips it tightly still on the bed holding me back from moving forward.

“Thank you, Porter,” he whispers, looking at the floor.

I turn back and kneel down in front of him so I can his green eyes shadowed by his body, and the sunlight streaming around his body. I reach up and touch his cheek, and when I do his eyes find mine. He leans forward wrapping his arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. I return it, burying my face in his shoulder and hair.

He smells of shampoo and cologne. He finally releases me and we both stand up. We walk disconnected from each other down the hall, still slightly afraid to confirm to the rest of the school what we actually mean to each other. Neither of us needed the extra fuel in the fire when Julian had already threatened to make our lives hell anyway. We race down the stairs and out the exit toward the cafeteria.

Ryker is smiling. I was glad I could bring a smile to his face in spite of everything. We get our food and sit down in the same place as yesterday, near the back exit in the direction of the boy’s dorm. I spot Maya watching us from her place in the line. She glances around as she grabs her food, looking for Julian probably before coming in our direction.

“Good morning, boys,” she states, brightly.

“Morning,” Ryker replies.

Maya looked a little nervous as if she was going to get caught sitting with us by Julian and have to unintentionally bash us to get out of it and keep her reputation in check. I wondered what her game was at the end of the day. It would be so much easier for her to turn on Ryker and me or ignore us completely but she was making an effort to acknowledge and at least be nice to us.

“Oh, yeah. Ryker. I have football practice after school so I might be late getting to the music room,” I state reminding him.

“It’s fine. I’ll be there when you’re done,” he replies.

“Can I listen to you play while you wait for him?” Maya questions.

I think he knew she'd keep asking if he didn’t let her. In the end, I don’t think she meant any harm by it. Maybe she felt bad about how she treated Ryker in middle school and she thought the only way she could repent or whatever was to be nice to him now.

“I guess so,” Ryker replies, with a shrug. “I think it’s getting too crowded for me in here, I’ll meet you back at my room so we can walk to class, okay?”

“Right, see you,” I reply quickly.

Ryker drops his dishes and tray at the kitchen window and exits the cafeteria.

“He seems a lot happier,” Maya states, looking after him.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“He always used to be quiet, just sit in class, wear his headphones, and do his work. He wouldn’t really talk to anybody, then again, nobody really wanted to talk to him,” she replies sadly.

“Are any of the rumours true?” she asks suddenly.

“Which rumours?” I ask, keeping my eyes on my food.

“That you like each other, that’s he’s gay. Do you think he’s crazy? Do you understand the music thing?” she questions.

“I can’t speak for him, personally,” I start, not wanting to out him if he’s not ready. “I’m gay, he’s cute, sure.”

I felt like Maya wouldn’t out me to Julian, and if she did, Ryker would very quickly turn on her and I guess she’d learn the hard way what the loss of a friend is like.

“What’s your deal?” I question in return. “Why does Julian’s girlfriend want to hang around us?”

“I don’t really like Julian,” she admitted. “He likes me, my friends questioned why I wouldn’t go out with him, they kept telling me he’s tall, hot, a basketball player and track star.”

Those were all physical qualities that should have been assets in addition to liking who he was as a person, which she obviously didn’t like because she stopped him and apologized for him.

“That’s not how relationships are supposed to work. You’re supposed to care about each other. You don’t do it because your friends would do it if they were you,” I state.

“High school doesn’t necessarily work that way if you want to stay in the “In” crowd,” she replies.

“I don’t get it. What’s cool or good about the “In” crowd? You obviously don’t like bullying Ryker, so what do you get out of it?” I question.

She looks ashamed and embarrassed, like I uncovered some huge dark secret she’d buried six feet deep in a grave, thinking she’d hidden it well when in reality I only spotted the dirt hiding under her fingernails and followed the trail back to it.

“It’s not that simple,” she continues.

“It’s not that complicated. You shouldn’t be with him and Ryker doesn’t deserve to be bullied. He’s not crazy, if he was crazy he’d be in an institution getting help, not out in the world. He’s different, we’re all different. None of us are the same exactly. You know all of that, you just choose to ignore it to protect yourself and people like you and Julian are the reason people like me and Ryker suffer alone. Because you’re too big for your britches to do the right thing and be decent,” I respond.

I get up from the table, drop my stuff at the kitchen window and leave the cafeteria, leaving her at the table to think. I walk back to my dorm room to get my bag for class and climb the flights of stairs to Ryker’s room.

Maybe she’ll be ready to apologize to me or Ryker by the end of the day.