Chapter 18
Ted slowly drove home to the house he shared with Randy. He felt empty. What he’d wanted and needed had been within his grasp, and he’d blown it. If only I’d waited to have s*x with Kenny until after I resigned from Morrison. If only I’d been up front and told Kenny the truth, if only, if only, if only. Ted’s mind repeated these thoughts interminably.
Ted hadn’t cried. He was too numb. He had no plan now and no one to turn to for advice. He couldn’t tell Charlie, his old college roommate—not Erik either. They didn’t know he was gay. They wouldn’t understand. How could he explain it to them without confessing what he did for a living? Of course his family was out of the question. Everyone else he knew worked for Trace. Ted already knew where they stood on the issue of relations
