Namesakes

Chapter 1-2

So you already know that what I really love is, music, and composing music for the piano, organ and, especially, the harp. I know it’s weird and unusual, but I just love it. I only get to play it at one of the local churches, but nobody in my family or at school knows about it, and I want to keep it that way. (Sure we have a piano at home but it goes out of tune so quickly and it’s really just a vertical piece of trash and it seems like there’s always someone else in the room. I hate that!)

Can you imagine how much the kids at school would laugh at me if they knew I played the harp? And how ashamed my dear old Dad would be? His idea of classical music is a march by Sousa or The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Heck, he still hasn’t forgiven me for getting rubella when he and I were going to go on a week-long fishing trip with his friends.

On top of it all, where I went wasn’t even the church Mom goes to. Anyhow, this guy Frederick is teaching me. I wouldn’t mind if he taught me a few other things too if you catch my drift, my drift being a really good reason to not join the army, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, notwithstanding. I’m not even ready to tell or not tell my parents. Maybe not even myself. But Frederick…let me freak out here a minute! He’s a God; well no, he’s only a human, but he’s the most handsome human I have ever seen. When he puts his arm around me to show me something on the harp, I just want to go all girly and faint or sigh, or to be honest, bite him and taste him. I focus in on the golden hair on his forearm and the back of his hand and just totally get lost. Music? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m listening. Oh wait, I’m not listening, I’m thinking about the deep sea blue of his eyes, and the way his long eyelashes lie on his cheeks, and how when he’s showing me something or placing my hands right and his body is so close to me and I can feel his heartbeat through our shirts. Remember, he’s sort of technically an adult and I’m almost there but not quite, plus he’s all responsible and ethical and s**t and phooey. He’s only a few years older than me. And hot.

I’m pretty sure he likes me too, but what if he’s only being friendly? I asked him once if he had a girlfriend, and he had said no. Then he blushed and patted my hand and then yanked his hand back as if he’d been burned. I smiled so hard I almost choked. I knew exactly what he was thinking, that I was underage and he didn’t want to get in trouble or take advantage of me. I think I fell in love with him right then. I mean not just ‘ohmygod he’s so hot’ like I’d already been thinking, but realizing he was tender and willing to be responsible, too. Oh hell, I don’t know what I mean! But it was deep, you know? And important, in a long-lasting relationship kind of way, the way that I wanted desperately to find.