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Chapter Fourteen

“So... what do we do?” I questioned, rubbing my hands together. “Do I have to like drink your blood... eat your flesh... um...” I was running out of ideas.

“Touch would be preferable,” Janaé answered. “I mean, all of those work it’s just...”

“Yeah.” I nodded my head.

Janaé smirked a little, throwing a glance at me. “You could even kiss. Or go even farther than that and--”

“Janaé,” Arthur said strongly.

“You don’t have to look so disgusted by it,” I muttered, a little offended by the look on his face.

Arthur cut his eyes towards me for a second but said nothing. “There’s more to it.”

“More to what? The curse?” I questioned.

“No--kind of... It has to deal with taking in some of my glory,” he explained. “There’s a bond created.”

My ears perked at the word. “Yeah?”

“It’ll be slight, because there won’t be a change... but you’ll definitely notice something.” Arthur looked kind of uncomfortable. “Like a dull sense of where I am or my emotions, it’ll be the same for me.”

“It’s sort of like the mark that he put on you, only, a deeper level.”

My brows knitted together. “Mark?”

Janaé cringed a little. “Foot meet mouth. Well! I’m going to go now, no longer needed.” She stood, bidding us farewell before scurrying out of the apartment.

I turned to Arthur. “What mark? Lin--the demon talked about you branding me, too.”

“I did a while back, after you first got attacked,” Arthur said. “I didn’t want you to freak out, so I guess that I never got around to telling you after we became friends.”

“What is it?” I coughed, noting the blood that got on my hand but choosing to not say anything about it. I had to hear this.

He shifted in his seat. “It allows me to know where you are at all times. And I know if you’re in danger, that’s all.”

Wasn’t that, like, some weird protective way of stalking me? I wasn’t really mad about it, though. His intentions were pretty easy to understand. It was strange knowing that he knew where I was at any given moment, but also reassuring. “Is that how you knew I was out on the walk?”

He nodded.

“Then why didn’t you save me earlier, when she took me?”

“It’s complicated. You were in a separate plane of existence that the demon created, and made it so that only she could enter or those with permission. That means that I couldn’t get in immediately--I had to slowly work on chipping away the defenses so that it wouldn’t collapse.”

“Oh.”

He shook his head. “No, I didn’t do it, if that’s what you were thinking. It would’ve taken me... longer. Far longer.”

“How?” I leaned back, suppressing the cough that I felt building up in my throat.

“You’re aware of the power that your scream carries, correct?”

“Yes.” How could I not be?

He responded, “When you screamed, it turned the chance of me entering into a certain future. An immediate one. With that, I was able to get inside and save you.”

“Cool.” I guess.

“It’s not... important now. It’ll be overpowered by the bond.”

I nodded my head. “Let’s do it! What’s the plan?”

“I’m going to touch you,” Arthur said.

At first, my mind went down the more risqué route. Then I realized that it was Arthur, and that was definitely not what he meant.

“Ready?” he asked, walking over to me.

“Yep.”

He touched my forehead for a millisecond. “Done.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it,” he affirmed. “No more curse.”

I had been expecting... more. Like some euphoric high or a crazy, mind-blowing experience. But there was nothing. I felt the exact same. “Did you do it right?” I questioned dubiously.

“Yes,” he answered. “Like I said, I wasn’t giving you a lot.” He paused. “Also, it takes a couple of minutes for it to kick in.”

“Like weed.” It was the first thing that came to my mind. When I was in my sophomore year, I smoked it for the first time and was disappointed that the real effects weren’t immediate. Just a weird lightness in my head at first. I didn’t even have that now.

His jaw set. “I’m going to make some dinner. Do you want some?”

“I’m starving.” Not true. I had next to no appetite. But maybe if I looked at some food I’d get hungry.

Arthur nodded and trekked over to the kitchen. “Do you have anything that you want to eat?”

“Meat.”

“Will do.”

I leaned back on the couch, pressing my hand against my forehead and listening to the sound of Arthur shuffling around in the kitchen. I was perfectly fine at first. Then I started to feel this tingling all over my body.

“Oh my,” I exclaimed, sitting up as the sensation didn’t stop.

“It’ll pass.” Arthur continued doing what he was doing.

He was right. It did pass. Very quickly, honestly. Then I just felt Arthur. He was wrong about it being a dull sense (or maybe he wasn’t, I’d never experienced this before).

It was hard to explain. Like I had known that Arthur was standing over in the kitchen, but now I knew. I also felt this apathy coming from him, along with boredom. He wasn’t really doing anything, so I could understand that.

Arthur looked up then and our eyes met from over the countertop. My heart skipped a beat, and then I heard the sound of glass crashing to the floor.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him. “Are you okay?”

“You love me.”

“W-what?” I stammered.

Arthur repeated, “You love me.”

“Uh.” I didn’t know what to say. How to react. I mean, I liked him, but love was a little... But did I? I had gotten a pretty accurate read on Arthur’s feelings, so he must’ve done the same for me. Did I? My heartbeat started to quicken, cheeks heating.

“Why?” he questioned, tone stinging me. “I don’t understand.”

I smiled tightly, shrugging a little.

“Did I do something?”

“I mean, you’re the first person who’s ever really been nice to me.” I stood up, pushing my hair behind my ears. “You’re the only one who acted like they cared. The only one who wanted better for me.”

He just kept staring at me. Like I was some type of psychotic child. “I still don’t understand.”

“I treasure that! I need that. I want it. All of it. I haven’t felt happiness in so long and you gave that to me. Don’t you get it?”

“No.”

Looking at him looking at me like that started to make me feel really stupid. “Maybe I should go,” I said, already turning to go to the door.

“We’re not done talking.”

I wanted to be done talking. “What? So you can belittle me more?”

“I’m not belittling you.”

I sniffled, trying to keep my composure. “I just...”

“I want you to stop.”

“Stop?” I echoed. “You can’t just turn off emotions like that,” I told him, voice cracking. “I’m not a robot.”

Irritation. Not from me, from Arthur. My feelings for him were annoying. “Oh my God,” I whispered, feeling kind of sick.

“Listen, Cam--”

“--no, you listen! I’m sorry that I’m a person and that I am capable of feeling emotion! And you of all people should know that you can’t just stop loving someone at the snap of a finger!”

“What are you talking about?” The agitation was rising. “Who told you that?”

“Does it matter?”

He shook his head. “No, you’re right, it doesn’t. I can figure it out on my own.” It was pretty obvious. “As I was saying... I see you as a friend. I like you, as a friend.”

I literally couldn’t listen to this, listen to him tell me such a painful thing. This time, I didn’t even announce it, I just set out for the door.

Arthur called after me, but I ignored it. I didn’t have to listen to him crush my feelings and then spit on them. I rushed to my apartment, tears finally rolling down my cheeks as I threw the door open and entered, quickly slamming it shut in case Arthur had followed me (he hadn’t).

I wiped at my face, a vain attempt to try to stop the crying. Then I realized that Arthur probably knew that I was crying right now--and that made me start sobbing even louder. It was so embarrassing. I didn’t want him to know that I was feeling this way right now. That he had such a big impact on my emotions.

I felt so stupid. Like a child. Who fell in love with someone just because they were nice? But I couldn’t help it! I just did. I just loved him. And I hadn’t even realized that I loved him until he said it!

Everything was because of him. I was feeling this way because of him, this pain... I wanted to scream. Not like I normally did, but just to let everything out of my system

I was mad at him for not loving me, at myself for loving him, at Janaé for figuring out how to stop me from dying.

There was so much hurt. I couldn’t deal with it all. I had never loved someone before, never had an actual friend or someone who genuinely wanted to keep me safe. Was there something wrong with me? Why wasn’t I allowed to have this?

I fell onto the couch, covering my face with my hands as I continued to wail. Maybe the tears would be a conduit and release me from liking him so much. I knew that it wouldn’t.

Time was supposed to heal all wounds, that’s what they said. But I felt as if time had stopped and it left me irreparably broken.