That's Us

Child is a blessing

We stopped at the front of the hospital and I can still feel my Aunt's sadness and I didn't have a chance to ask her what happened to the girl. It was a long long time ago but I still can feel the emotions while my aunt was telling me that story.

She turned the engine off and look at me, "I am so grateful to see you, darling." I smiled and hugged her tightly. "Okay go on, sweetie! good luck with your first day okay? Let's go?" She said. And we walk in front of the hospital. I can see from there the other hospital staff, welcoming my Aunt Louise since this is her first day here as well as senior executives. As soon as we reached the front door, the other doctors started to hug my aunt and greeted her with 'welcome to BCH family'. An old doctor wearing a white gown approached my aunt and said, "Is this Jane already?" My Aunt looked at the doctor and smile, "Oh yes! She is going to volunteer here for a couple of months while waiting for her civil service examination." The old doctor walk towards me and said, "We're so glad to see you again, Jane!" then he hugged me. I can not understand why he greeted me as if he knew me, it was confusing, Have I been here before because I can not remember.

My aunt introduced me to the other staff then she introduced me to the nurse that handles the volunteers here in the hospital. "This is Emily, she is assigned to guide all the volunteers here in Boston Children's Hospital." Emily smiled at me and offers her hand for a handshake, I did not hesitate to smile at her too and greet her. "I am Jane, it is nice to meet you," I said with a big smile on my face. "Yeah, I know who you are Jane, my father is a physician here in this hospital as well and I heard a lot about you." then she hugged me.

I was still confused why they know me when this is my first time here in this hospital. "By the way, Jane. Let me tour you to every part of the building." She leads me to the front garden and said, "This is the play area for the kids. Those cancer patients inside, they usually play here as you can see, all you have to do is to guide them and just watch them while they are playing. Or talk to them if they wanted to, comfort them. Simple as that." she said with a smile. She nodded and we continue to explore the hospital. Next, she guided me to the balcony where most of the patients sits with their loved ones. "Here, you can always see here a crying mother, A worried father, a dying child. They usually go here when their loved ones can not fight anymore." She said while looking at the faraway distance. "but anyway, let's go! I will introduce you to our patients. They are all nice, well it's Monday so their parents will be here anytime this afternoon but for now, we need to watch them and talk to them. Do not worry, they are all nice. Although they suffer differently from us, children are blessing." She said. She walked me to the Room of cancer patients where I saw awesome ten kids some of them are wearing hats and some of them are new for sure. It seems like they don't know what is their situation because as soon as we entered the room, five of those kids came running towards Emily to hug her. that was so beautiful. "How are you feeling?" She asked the first boy who looks like an Asian. the boy replied, "I am feeling well, Emily! Look, I had my first chemo yesterday, where were you?" I can see some bruises on his arms as he showed them to Emily. "You are so brave, Benji! Always remember that you can defeat cancer and after that, we will go to Disney land, okay??" She said with teary-eyed. Benji run around while shouting in excitement, "WE ARE GOING TO DISNEY LAND!!! EVERY ONE OF YOU, WE HAVE TO BE STRONG LIKE THOR AND WE WILL GO TO DISNEY LAND!!" every kid in the room clapped in excitement those kids who are running around the room shouted, "Disneyland! Disneyland!" We were laughing in tears when Emily interrupted them, "By the way kids, this is Jane. She is our new friend." everyone is looking at me, and one girl from my side came to me and held my hand and she seems wants to say something so I sat and she whispered slowly to my ear, "Hello! You are beautiful, you look like my mom." I almost melted and I do not know that I will feel attached to these kids as soon as I entered their room. I wiped my tears and said, "Aww, thank you so much! I appreciate it. You are beautiful too!" I said and hugged her. She put her left hand above my head and said, "My name is Alison. I love your hair. I used to have this. I had very long hair..." while pointing at her waist "...But when I came here, I undergo 6 therapies, and my hair started to fall. Mom said, It was okay and it will go back soon when I am fully healed." She said with a big smile on her face. I looked at Emily and she nodded, "Hmmm. Yes, A-Alison, Everything will be fine, okay? It will go back as soon as you stay brave, okay? and when you are done with your therapies, we will make a lot of slimes. Do you like it?" I asked her with excitement. I can see from her reaction her excitement and said, "I would love that, Jane!! I want to finish all my chemotherapy and make slimes with you! Can we cover my whole bathtub with slime?" she said with pleading reaction. "Of course, I will make sure we will be able to do all of that. Is this your bear?" I point out the teddy bear she was holding. "Yes! This is Bee. I named him bee because his color is yellow and I remember it from Winnie the pooh." I smiled at her and responded, "Wow! That's nice. You'll take care of her okay? So do not give up because no one will take care of Bee. you have to be strong and brave." I said with a smile on my face. She runs towards her bed and played with Bee. "Okay, Jane. Introduce yourself." Emily stared at me and looks like supporting me. "Hi, everyone! My name is Jane. I hope you are all doing well. you can call me Jane or whatever you want, whatever you are comfortable with, I am totally fine with that. From now on, you will be seeing me around, playing with you, watching you guys play. Is that okay?" I said while looking at them. Alison caught my attention because she was not listening and just playing with her bear. The Asian kid shouted, "I am so happy to meet you! Will you be here for a long time or just for a short time? Because I want to play with you. Do you like to come with us to Disneyland?" he said innocently. "Yes, sure! I will stay as long as you guys are strong and fighting! I will support you all!" I laughed and they shouted, "Disneyland! Disneyland!" repeatedly.

It's their lunchtime so I had to meet their parents waiting outside, I met every parent but I noticed no one came for Alison so I decided to take Alison's food and took it to her bed. I saw Alison lying on her bed while counting the stars on the ceiling. "Hi, Alison!" She looked at me in shock and immediately get up from bed, "I thought you were my Mom!" She said with disappointed eyes. "Uhm...hmm... Your mom will be here very soon, okay?" I said with a happy voice. She became sad and said, "It's fine, I have not seen my mom for a long time and I am used to it." I feel bad for her so I asked, "Is it okay if I ask why?" I asked her. "Hmmm... Yes. My mom said she will be gone for a couple of weeks because she needs to go on a business trip then she left me here with my baggage..." pointing out on her dresses beside her "...But it has been so long and she's still not here. I guess she forgot about me already." She said with a sad voice. I tapped her back and said, "Since I look like your mom, is it okay for you if I became your mom while she is not here?" I can see the sparkle in her eyes upon hearing what I have said. "Yes!!!" She answered with excitement and then hugged me. "Don't worry I will not leave you, okay?" I said while my tears are falling to my cheeks. I do not know why I feel so attached to Alison, but one thing is for sure, I want to see her overcome this crisis in her life.

As time goes by, I enjoyed volunteering in the hospital, I witnessed a lot of goodbyes, including a good goodbye where the patient overcome cancer. A goodbye that would transfer to another country and the most painful part, a goodbye that we never wanted.

Benji is the jolliest cancer patient in the ward, he's been here for almost a year now. His condition went worse and worse. He is the naughty Asian boy I met on my first day here at Boston Children's Hospital.

I witnessed him lose his weight, lose his hair, got a bloated tummy, but he is always brave. "I w-want to be str-strong. I want to go to Disneyland" while laying in the bed. I got the heaviest feeling of seeing his mom cry each day, the jolly Benji, He is a fighter. He is so brave. But, he lost his battle.

We were on the balcony at that time when Benji passed away, I was with Emily. Emily can not stop crying thinking about Benji, "I do not know why God chose those kids to have that disease. He could give that to those who deserve to suffer! Benji did not deserve that! He deserves a better life!" she was crying so loud and sobbing. "Benji deserves every good thing in this world and he didn't deserve to suffer that way." I hugged Emily and responded, "I know, life is tough. We will never know how long will the person beside us will stay or how long they will live. We always wanted the best for the people we loved. but what could we do? He has his reasons for sure. He took Benji for a reason. He can rest peacefully now. He could enjoy heaven, that would be more fun than Disneyland. We know life sometimes is unfair, we just have to go with the flow and let the wave take us to where we belong. and maybe he just let us borrow Benji for a while. For us to experience, to hear an angel's voice, laugh, and cheer. Maybe he is watching us right now and telling God, 'that's Emily, she is my best friend, she never left.' and he will tell God to bless us more." I responded to Emily and still hugged her. Emily stopped crying and said, "Benji, if you can hear me, please hug me and tell me you are happy wherever you are right now, okay?" Upon saying those words, A cold breeze of wind came and Emily burst into tears. "I-I would m-miss you, Benji! Always remember I care and love you, You are alwaysa good boy, okay?"