Once Rejected, Twice Denied.

Chapter Twenty-One

TESSA POV:

I look back into the mirror after having just had a long and steamy soak in the tub. I have bags under my eyes from crying last night in bed and I feel so exhausted. I refuse to let him get to me though. I refuse to let him see how upset this has all made me. Brett already thinks I am weak. I start to put some of the foundation on my face that Ray and Lili helped me get. I am no girl for excessive make-up, but this should help hide my pain. Soft taps hit the door and Taz pops her head in. When I see it is her, I look back to the mirror and carry on.

"Hey, girl."

She sounds tentative and I know it's because of what happened yesterday. The pain of Brett cheating on me carried on for hours after he actually stopped. Taz helped me settle in last night and didn't ask any questions.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

She asks now. I carry on with my stuff.

"I am okay, thanks Taz. A little tired and drained after it all, to be honest."

"Girl, the fact that you can sit here and still find the strength to start your day is very admirable."

I turn to her now and she is smiling at me. I offer her a small one back.

"Great weather outside today, hey?"

Taz looks outside and sees it is raining cats and dogs. The wind is howling too. I sigh and turn back to the mirror. Almost done.

"Tessa, it is okay for you to not be okay. You know that, right? I am here for you."

I drop the sponge now and look at Taz. In the small amount of time we have been here, she has really grown on me. At first I thought she was a little bad-ass and I wouldn't be able to keep up, but she has been there for me through all the moments. Her, Ray and Lili have all been. I finally have people around me who just MIGHT be friends? I frown at this thought and look at Taz sadly.

"I just don't get why he would do this to me. Cheating is the lowest of the low in my opinion. How do I ever come back from something like this?"

Taz takes a moment to think about what I have said and then she sighs and sits on my bed.

"To be honest, when I heard what he did, I wanted to storm over to him and rip his balls off."

There's that bad-ass vibe again. She peeps at me.

"But, then I remembered a time in my life not long ago when I was the girl scorned, hurt and completely afraid to let anybody in. I cheated on a man who offered the world to me and when he found out, it broke him and I have never seen him again."

I look at her with wide eyes now. Her expression is morbid.

"Tessa, nothing can excuse cheating on another. NOTHING."

She shakes her head at me. Truthfully, she looks more devastated by it than I do.

"But then we all handle grief, loss, pain and anger in different ways. f**k, when I cheated on Zane, I didn't even feel anything until I saw the look on his face and watched him leave. It almost broke me, seeing him so betrayed."

"Why did you do it then?"

Taz can't look at me.

"Because I was a coward to fall in love. Hurting and pushing away the one and only thing that could bring me happiness seemed like the best thing to do. Because I didn't feel like I could be good enough for a gentleman like Zane and because he deserved better than me and I knew it. f**k, it's really complicated Tess."

Tess. Nobody has called me that since Aimee...

"I don't know if you have ever had so much emotion consume you that you don't know what to do with it and you just explode and self-destruct? That's what I did and, if I can be honest, after hearing everything Brett has been through, it sounds like this might be him too."

I swivel in my chair now and grab my mascara. My mind feels like ti is running wild with emotions and thoughts. Taz's question is a good one, but I can't really relate.

"When my emotions become too much, I draw into myself."

"An opposite then."

I nod. Sweeping emotions under the carpet and pretending they don't exist is not a good thing either and I know this about myself.

"He hurt me."

I say softly.

"Oh, sweetie, of course he did and you should be hurt. Furious, hurt, betrayed and all else. What he did was SERIOUSLY f****d up. Cheating is never, in any way or form, good."

Taz has moved closer and is straightening out the back of my pony tail.

"All I am saying, is that I think Brett, although privileged in his life, holds a lot more demons inside of him than he makes out. I mean he basically became a recluse after Julia and the rogues. Damon was telling me that he has been threatening and planning an attack on the rogues for the past..."

Another knock on the door sounds, interrupting Taz and my conversation and all the hair on my body stand up.

"It is Brett."

My heart starts to beat faster as Taz looks between the door and me with a worried gaze.

"Well?"

Taz asks. I look at her with panic now.

"Do you want me to tell him to f**k off?"

"No! He would have you for breakfast."

I take a deep breath in now and close my eyes. Confrontation has never been my strong suit and now I need to face an Alpha who has hurt me. What if he rejects me? What if he isn't sorry, then do I reject him? What if...

"Tessa, are you there? Could we talk?"

Another small knock. I look up at Taz and nod.

"Come in."

It sort of squeaks out in a little whisper, but it was clearly enough for Brett to hear as I see the knob turning. His earthy scent and bold aura hits me like a ton of bricks and for a moment, I don't know where to look or what to even do with my hands. My eyes follow him as he takes a few steps in, his whole body strong and brave against a nervous and weary expression on his frowning face. It looks somewhat softer than before and hidden behind his masculine jawline is an aura of exhaustion that matches mine and runs all the way to the chocolate in his eyes.

"Hello, Tessa."

He says softly. His eyes look at Taz now.

"Taz."

She looks between the two of us. The air in the room is raw and static with tension.

"Hey, uhm, I was just going. Tessa, you all good?"

She looks down at me now and I give her a half smile. This makes her nod and then she goes, closing the door behind her and leaving me inside my room with Brett. For a few seconds, we just look at each other and I have never felt more awkward in my life.

"Would you mind if we spoke?"

I shrug my shoulders. How do I speak? How do I actually...

"Tessa, yesterday was a serious f**k up on my part and I never in a million years ever thought I was capable of stooping down so low. I have no idea what got over me, f**k, I was just..."

He runs his large hand through his perfect, dark waves now and looks up at the ceiling in frustration. I can smell the guilt on him and Taz's words are running through my mind, but why should everyone be allowed to continuously have enough reason to get away with hurting me?

"Tessa, I never..."

"Why did you do it?"

My questions cut him off and his eyes burn with emotion. He looks away from me.

"It was the coat. Well, at least that was what started it."

My eyes widen with shock. Why on earth would such a small thing cause him to do this to me?

"I was cold and you weren't there, Brett."

He nods with strain.

"I know, but having Damon's scent all over you at a social event just ticked me and my wolf off and I lost control of my emotions. That was the first outside event I have been to in three years for the pack and I think seeing you in his coat in front of a pack where we are supposed to be a pair just made me lose control. I am sorry, Tessa. I really am."

I look away from his stare now. I mean, sure, I get it that he was angry about having me in another guy's coat, but really?

"Do you like him, Tessa? Is there something going on between you and my brother?"

The question comes out strained and my eyes snap back to Brett. For the first time in ever, he looks more small as he awaits my answer.

"NO!"

I all but shout it out, a little too quickly and loudly and my hands cover my mouth. This reaction seems to make Vrett relax.

"But why would you care when you can have any girl you want? Why can't I like another guy then, hmm?"

I see his eyes flash darker for a second.

"Tessa, I do not like anybody else in this pack and I have no intention of being with anybody o..."

"Other than Julia, right? Yes, I already know that. Thank you. You have made it pretty obvious to me that I will never be her."

I get up quickly and storm to where the window is.

"I was going to say with anybody, but you, Tessa. I wouldn't be with anybody other than you."

My grip on the window ledge tightens and I feel my eyes closing for a second. My body wants to cave into what he has said. My knees want to wobble and shake with the need for his love and attention, but my mind...

"I don't trust you, Brett. At the first turn you get, you run off and cheat on me. Just the other day you were telling me that you cannot love me either and now you want me to believe you can? Why such a change of heart?"

"Look, Tessa, I know what I have done is f****d up and I know I don't deserve you. I don't even know why the Goddess bothered with me."

He cusses under his breath and I turn to look at him over my shoulder. He looks distraught.

"I have been blaming love for everything I lost all those years ago, pushing away happiness and being a coward of a friend and now a mate. I was blinded by my grief and I saw love as a weakness. So many days I woke up and cried and begged the Moon Goddess to reverse the wheel of time and take me instead. Anything to take away the fact that I was not there to protect my loved ones and so many other people in the pack. I have been living with so much guilt in my heart. Over a dozen were killed while I was out having a fun time with friends. How do I begin to face my pack again?"

I blink at him now as his face fills with tears. He has been blaming himself this whole time for what happened.

"It wasn't your fault, Brett. Nobody blames you."

He nods.

"I know. I know, Tessa, but I blamed myself all this time and I took everyone's hurt and I just kept it with me. It has been like I have been living in a vortex where time stood still on that day, but everyone else moved on."

My eyes water at how sad he looks. Such a strong man stripped down to all this because of rogues. Brett wipes his eyes now and his brown gaze is more penetrating than ever.

"It is a s**t excuse, but it is why I have been such an asshole to you. Do you think you could still have me after all of this?"

I frown at him now and really feel his words sinking into my core.

"I don't, I don't know..."

I quickly look away from him. I can feel him moving closer to me until the heat of his body is right behind mine.

"Tessa, I know I have been a fool and I know I have no right to want a chance from you."

His arms start to snake around me now and I almost let a moan slip out at the sensation of the tingles prickling against my arms. Goddess, his finger tips are so...

"Let me make it up to you. Let us no longer resist the bond anymore. I have been unfair to you."

"I..."

My body betrays me by leaning back into his strong chest. His hands are hardly touching me, yet it feels like they are burning my skin with temptation.

"You can surely feel this too?"

His breath fans against my neck and it's like a live wire of ecstasy inside of me as I flutter my eyes closed. I do feel it and I have only ever wanted a mate who wants me back, but the problem with closed eyes is it always shows me reality and my reality is that Brett has been an ass.

"Friends."

Is all I say and his body stiffens. He clears his throat now as I turn around to face him. His cheeks are red and I am sure mine are too. I know it is s**t, but Brett needs to get to know me and do this at my pace now if he really wants a chance from me. I can sense the worry and sadness coming off of him and I would be lying if I said I didn't have my own gut stirring in discomfort at my own words.

"Friends?"

He asks and I bite my bottom lip and nod. He takes a small step now and thinks. I can feel the confusion whirling around as he tries to understand me. His chocolate orbs melt down my body and then come back up to meet mine with a little smirk.

"Fine, Tessa. We can be friends, for now."

There is something hidden in the last two words and a delicious shiver runs down my spine. We stare at each other a little and I try to gather what he means, but Brett is a mystery and I am only at the very tip of finding out how deep his river runs. He offers me a smile, which I return and then he takes my hand and plants a very gentle kiss on it. I raise my eyebrow at him.

"That didn't last very long."

He chuckles and it's the first time I have ever heard something so rich and melodious from him. Goddess, help me. I bite my lip again.

"You are still MY mate. Friend or not."

The way he said "my" was pocessive and hot. My breathing increases and he smirks again. Does he know what he is doing to me? A few moments go by and he rolls his shoulders and looks ready to leave.

"I need to get going now. I am leaving the packlands for a few days. To be honest, I am not sure when I will be back, but Ray and Lili and my mother will be here with you."

Now it is my turn to look confused. He chuckles again.

"Where are you going?"

Gosh, I know I said we could be friends for now, but it feels like I finally have him at a place where we can talk things out, work through our heavy pasts and move forward and now he is leaving for who knows how long? Brett's demeanor turns more serious.

"I am leading a group of warriors. I am finally going to take down the Rogue Alpha. I have been putting it off for a long time, but it's time now."

And just like that, my heated blood from before turns to an icy cold.