Call Me Daddy

2

It was no surprise. I’d watched my mom die slowly over the months. I could barely cry. I cried every night beside her. Her pale skin meant little now. I’d watched as colour drained from her face day after day in that hospital room.

More than sorrow, I felt anger. Anger at my mom for being stubborn till the end. Anger at my father for not being there, for messing around with his baby mothers while she withered away. Even now, he still wasn’t here.

My parents had been apart for ten years. After my mother discovered he was cheating with his executive assistant, amongst other women, she left and took me with her.

Everything turned bleak when she was diagnosed with cancer six months ago. When she wouldn’t ask Dad for help, I called him myself and told him of her condition, desperate for help. Still, she wouldn’t take anything from him.

The preacher’s voice brought me back to reality. “Let’s welcome Miss Sussy.”

I rose and walked up the platform, unsure of what to say. I had written a little speech but now everything felt so distant, I wasn’t sure it mattered. I looked around, taking sight of everyone. Maya smiled at me and I exhaled.

“My mother was the best I could ask for,” I started. “She loved even when she felt unloved. She was patient even when her world was crumbling. She worked hard even when it all seemed pointless. She was…”

Murmurs ushered my father’s entrance. Attached to his right arm was his assistant and baby mama, Veronica.

Conspicuous stares and whispers always followed wherever he went. After all, he was the CEO of Monroar Motor Corporation, a billion dollar company.

They settled into seats in one of the last rows and I breathed.

“She was a light to me and everyone who knew her in a world…” I trailed off, catching sight of Dad scrolling

through his phone.

“In a world of darkness. My mother was honest and upright. She taught me contentment, even though we never had enough. She taught me all sorts of things, from mending my dresses to dressing my injuries to speaking up for myself.

I sniffled, my throat clogged with tears.

“She was my doctor even when she was weak; my teacher, even though she didn't know it all; my therapist, even when she was disturbed herself; my protector, even when she was scared; my lover, even though she was heartbroken. She was too good for the world she lived in and now that she's gone, I pray she finds rest because she had none here.”

When I returned to my seat, Maya put her hands over mine and squeezed tightly.

“You did good,” she whispered. “You did good”

For as long as I can remember, Maya and I had been friends. We first met in middle school, both awkward and out of place on the first day of school. We were like two poles of a magnet, each existing for the other. We became inseparable ever since, going on to the same high school and then college.

The rest of the service passed in a haze. Voices faded and faces blurred into a dull echo. I heard and felt nothing but Maya’s warmth around my hands.

Memories of days with mother replayed before my eyes— mornings she dropped me off at school, nights she tucked me in, our little fights and my little parties.

When the casket was lowered, I found tears escaping me. The dawning realisation of mother’s absence now hit in full force. I threw the first shovel of dirt amidst sobs, then stepped back. Maya threw the second. Shovel by shovel, the box and my mother within slowly disappeared.

People left in batches. Only a few hugged or comforted me before leaving. But only a few were present to begin with. Maya never left me all the while.

Then came the devil's spawn, my father.

“Sussay,” he called, his broad figure towering over me.

“Marcus,” I said slowly.

“It’s a shame what happened to your mother.

I was quiet and he continued. “You should come live with me while you figure things out. I’ll have a car come pick you whenever you’re ready.”

My jaw locked. “I’ve lived without your help for ten years. I don’t need it now.”

“You’re unemployed, you’re broke and you’ve lost your only support. Pride is what put your mother in that situation. Don’t repeat her mistake.”

“f**k you!” I yelled.

“Don’t argue with her, babe. She’s mentally unstable,” Veronica sneered.

Without warning, I lunged at her, determined to rip her hair out but Maya pulled me back.

Veronica composed herself, obviously shaken. “Like mother, like daughter,” she muttered.

“Go to the car,” Marcus ordered.

I watched her leave, striding in heels I had never even dreamed of.

“Whatever your reason might be, you can’t last long without help. Call me when you’re rational,” he said, before leaving.

Once he was out of sight, I broke down on Maya’s shoulders, crying harder than I ever did today. She said nothing, only rubbing my head.

Later, I rode in the back with Maya in her father’s car.

“Are you going to be okay,” she asked, worry written all over her face.

“I will.”

“I could stay over if you want,” she pressed. “You could even spend the night at mine.”

I smiled softly. “It’s fine, Maya. I’ll be fine.”

She sighed in defeat. “Alright, then.”

I got out of the car and waved her goodbye, then ascended the steps to my apartment. Inside was quiet, the weight of her death heavy in the air. I took out the photo book and smiled, reliving old times.

When I came to the end, I strolled to the wardrobe and buried my face in her clothing, breathing in her scent as tears welled up in my eyes.

I picked up her folded hospital gown and collapsed onto the bed, pressing it to my chest as if it were my mother itself.