Forest Pack Community Book One

chapter 12

Lissa sat quietly for a minute and said, “Hmm. Have you learned how to let your wolf come forward to speak through you? Like giving her some control. Have they taught that yet?”

“Yeah, they did, but I don’t seem able to do it. If I can’t seem to do the simplest thing, how am I supposed to give over total control and shift into her?!”

“I can see how you would have trouble giving up control.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when your parents died. Did you have control over what happened then?”

“Well, no…” Felicia said quietly.

“Exactly. I have a question, now did the teacher ask everyone if they could bring their wolves forward the next day after the lesson?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you say?” Lissa asked, already knowing the answer.

“That I had done it at home even though I had trouble in class.”

“Thought so. You know who else had trouble bringing their wolf forward?” Felicia looked at her quizzically. “Uncle Ben. Do you mind if I call him in? There’s a secret door that only he can get through even if I got soundproof on, and he’d only come in if I called. I think he can help here.” Felicia looked at her fearfully, then nodded. She didn’t want to be the weird one.

While Lissa was calling Ben in, Azella spoke up, ‘Girl, you are not the weird one. As Luna said, even the Alpha had trouble! Plus, you could have come to me; we would have worked this out together. But I get it, and I’m not mad.’

‘Thanks, Azella, I love you.’

A minute later, Ben came through the secret door and saw the two ladies holding hands. So, he asked, “What’s going on? Something wrong?”

Lissa said, “Ben dear pull up a chair and have a seat.” So, he pulled up one of the chairs that matched the couch they were sitting on and waited. To lighten the mood a little Lissa joked, “He listens so well!” they all laughed. “Ok back to business.” She squeezed Felicia’s hands to give her courage. “Felicia’s done a very brave thing Ben. She’s admitted that she’s having some trouble, and she’s also told me a fear.”

“Oh yeah? Who do I have to beat up? Is it Mick? Cause that’ll be fun!” Ben joked. Lissa gave him a hard look. “Sorry. What’s going on. Sounds sensitive.”

“Yes that’s why the room is locked and soundproofed.” Ben’s eyes widened and he suddenly leaned in and got serious. “When they taught the class on bringing your wolf forward. Felicia hasn’t been able to do it. Secondly she and her friends were talking and her friends suggested it would be cool if the three of them shifted together. Felicia is afraid because she’s had less time with her wolf so she will shift later. Especially since she can’t seem to let go of control enough to even bring Azella forward, let her have full control to shift, and yes Azella is listening and knows what’s going on. Right Felicia?”

“Yes, she’s already told me she would have worked it out with me, but she’s not mad; I just don’t want to be the weird one,” Felicia said sadly.

“Now I see why you called me in,” Ben said to Lissa. “I too had trouble giving up control. Still do if you ask Lissa. But I can help. Lissa probably said this stems back to the crash, right?” Felicia nodded. Ben continued. “Do you remember that everything that happened that day was not your fault? Not a single moment. I know that’s hard to get through one’s head. But it’s true. Do you want to know what made me have a hard time giving up control? I also lost someone very close. I was very close to my grandmother. We were two peas in a pod. When she died, I felt lost and thought if I had done something sooner or maybe if there was something I could have done. Dear, I played the ‘if’ game for a long time. Finally, my dad looked at me and said something that helped me a lot. So, I hope it helps you. He said, Ben, what would your grandmother think if she were here and heard your thoughts? I looked at him like he had grown a third eye. Then he sat me in front of a mirror and helped me learn to give control over to my wolf, Odin. It wasn’t easy, and I didn’t get it right away. Lissa would say it’s because I’m a hard-headed man.” Lissa just grinned and shook her head in the affirmative. “But you, Felicia, aren’t hard-headed. You are soft-hearted and nervous. Lissa dear, do you have a mirror we can use?”

“Yes, I do. Let me go to my bathroom. I think I have a full-length one.” She said as she stood up and disappeared through a door.

“Are you sure I can do this, Uncle Ben? I didn’t want to go to my aunt's because, well, something told me not to go there. I was afraid to go to Azella.”

“Why were you afraid to go to Azella?” he asked while they waited.

“Well, I didn’t want to sound dumb. Cause I thought I should already know this stuff. Cause it was supposed to be simple.”

“I see, and it wasn’t so simple for you.” Felicia just shook her head. “That’s alright; not everything in life is going to be easy, and you, my dear, have been through more than most kids your age. So, it’s okay. You are a tough cookie. Plus, before Lissa gets back, I think you’re a badass!”

“BENJERMIN CONALL!” Lissa scolded as she came into the room. “Even if that is true, I heard you and I do not feel that is appropriate.”

“What?! She probably hears it at school anyway!” he said in defense.

“You’re probably right, but that does not mean the adults in her life need to use the same language.”

“Sorry, dear.” Felicia giggled at how the Alpha was getting scolded by the Luna. But it made her feel better to know how they thought of her, and it put her at ease and more relaxed. Which was probably the whole intent anyway, but it was still fun to watch.

Lissa noticed it was nearing dinner, so she mind-linked Joy, ‘Joy, it’s ok Felicia is with me. We will try to be at dinner. But if we’re not, don’t worry.’

‘Thanks, Lissa, for letting me know. FYI, her friends are concerned.’

‘Tell them it’s ok.’

‘I will.’

“Okay, I got the mirror. We’ll set it right here so all three of us can see into it.” As Ben had moved the table and his chair, he was facing the same way as Felicia.

“Are you ready? You can do this. Remember, and I’m still going to use this phrase because I think it’ll help you cause it’ll stick out in your mind. Sorry, Lissa dear. Felicia, look at me. You. Are. A. bad. Ass!” Lissa just rolled her eyes and smiled cause she knew he was right. “Now look in the mirror and say that to yourself a few times. Out loud, if you must.”

Felicia looked at Ben and Lissa, and they both nodded at her. Then she looked at herself and said, “Felicia, you are a badass.”

“Louder, Felicia,” Ben said. Lissa just let him have control cause he knew what he was doing.

“You Are A Bad Ass!”

“Louder! Yell it if you must,” Ben encouraged.

“It’s soundproofed, right?”

“Yes dear, no one can hear you no matter how loud you get. Trust me, Ben and I have had our share of spats right here in this room.”

This made Felicia smile. Then she squared her shoulders and yelled with all her might, as if she were trying to break through the sound barrier, “FELICIA, YOU ARE A BAD ASS! YOU HAD NO CONTROL THAT NIGHT. BUT YOU HAVE CONTROL NOW. YOU CAN TRUST YOUR WOLF DUMMY, AND YOU CAN GIVE HER CONTROL!!!”

Lissa and Ben cheered, and so did Azella. “Great job, Felicia. You said more than I expected, but that was perfect. I think you did it. Do you want to let Azella come through? Then we can talk about shifting.” Ben said gently.