SHADOWS (Dark Waters #1)

Chapter 2

Location: Cartel House, Rosarito, Mexico

Coordinates: Unknown

Eric

Warm light peeked through the sheer curtains, and a beam of sun brushed over her bare legs. Her dark hair was tousled across the pillow, and her skin nearly glowed as I gawked at her flawless body.

I ran my finger down the artwork along her spine and noted the color from the fallen feathers became faded as I stopped at her tailbone. The intricate bird on her shoulder tilted as it flew away toward the evening sun.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what it means?” she mumbled from the pillow.

“No.” I retracted my fingers and pulled my phone cord from the charger. She chuckled as she rolled over and let the sheet fall away to expose her bare breasts. Her pink lips parted, and when she caught me looking, her gorgeous brown eyes blinked behind long dark lashes. The thin chain she wore held a cross close to her throat, and it caught the light when she swallowed. The contrast of her skin against the crisp white sheets was beautiful, and I fought the need to reach out and touch her again. But I didn’t and wouldn’t.

“I wish you’d tell me about this.” She reached over to run her finger up my stomach to my chest, but I snagged her fingers, giving them a kiss before I let her go.

“Hungry?” Her voice was all breathy.

“No.”

“Of course not.” She sighed and swept an arm to clear away her long hair. “The night’s over. It’s my cue to leave.” I simply shrugged, and her head shot back. “Will my payment be left on the nightstand, or will you pay me over an app?” she spat, and I knew her hackles were up. I hated what she said. I didn’t want her to degrade herself like that. I knew she had two degrees and worked hard in her family’s business.

“Stop,” I warned.

“Why?” she challenged.

“Because I said to.”

“I see.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, if you say so.” I sent her a look, and she returned it. “The dangerous Eric Noah doesn’t show feelings, huh?”

“They’re pointless.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Then we differ.”

“But you have no problem showing me how you feel at night?” She tried to make sense of a senseless situation.

“It’s sex.”

“Right.” I could tell that hurt. “You call me Escaper, instead of my real name. Why is that?” I ignored her question as I thumbed through my emails. “Is it because I’m your escape from the world?”

“No.”

Yes.

“Eric,” she got up on her knees and crawled over my lap, “we’ve been sleeping together for over two years. You come get me, we have s*x, I spend the night, then in the morning you can barely look at me. God forbid you should answer a question.”

“And?” I knew how I sounded, but it had to be this way. It would always be this way.

“And I’m tired of it.” She held her head high, and I could tell she was more than upset this time. “I want more.”

“I can’t give you more.”

“Why?” Hurt raced across her face. When I still said nothing, her eyes glossed over. “You don’t just have s*x with me, Eric, you make love to me like I’m the only one for you. But the moment the sun comes up, I’m just one of the women out there, just a nightly hook up to…what?” Her eyes blazed. “To blur the pain of your lifestyle?” Her words cut hard, but I remained impassive, unreadable. “You don’t use my name, never want to know anything about me, and I’m supposed to be okay with it?” Her soft hands pushed against my chest, and I fought the urge to flip her over and have my way with her again.

“I don’t,” I pulled her hands up and away from me, “expect anything from you. Just like you shouldn’t expect anything from me.”

“Wow.” She ripped her hands from my hold, dried her tears, and got up. She began to gather her clothes and tripped over her bra in her hurry to get away from me.

Everything inside me wanted to pull her back to bed, but the truth was I wouldn’t.

I’d known this day would come. I’d allowed myself to get comfortable with her, and now I needed to hurt her because of who we were. Both of us were wrapped deep in the Cartel. I worked for her cousin, and she worked for her father. Though we were of the same world, we were miles apart. If I publicly dated her, I’d have to answer to more than just her family. I’d have to answer to mine…and that just wasn’t an option.

“Don’t call me, Eric, because this won’t happen again.” She tugged her dress on and shimmied into her shoes.

Just as she reached the door, I flew off the bed and whirled her around by her arm to look at me. Her expression carried so much hurt, but there was hope there too, and I knew it was time. I knew she was the one person who could take me down. I’d hurt many women in the past, some worse than others, but the one who stood in front of me now needed to go. I was angry at myself. I’d known better, but I’d been selfish and lazy. I’d grown comfortable with her and didn’t want to look for another.

Everything was on the tip of my tongue. How I did know her real name, and I only allowed myself to use it when she was asleep. Or how I was the one who sent her those white roses on her birthday. It was me who sent the bottle of wine and candies a month after Valentine’s Day, because I hated that day. I enjoyed the idea of her reaction that some unknown person thought to send her gifts. She deserved the world, but I sure as hell wasn’t the one who could give her that.

“I—” I snapped my mouth shut.

Don’t.

“Yeah,” she sniffed, “I thought so.”

I love you, Talya.

She leaned up and kissed my cheek. “I want more, Eric.” Her lips brushed over my skin again.

“And I don’t,” I lied.

“Then this is goodbye.” She ducked under my arm and slipped outside the door, leaving me to fall apart in silence.

My phone lit up on top of the white blanket, and I ran a hand through my hair as I retrieved it.

Castillo: Pick up and transport the next payment. 1:30 p.m.

I swiped the message away and zeroed in on the time. I had just under an hour before I had to make the pickup. Beer bottles clinked outside the door, and I closed my eyes and tried not to lose my s**t. I hated people in my house, but parties were a must in my world, and I planned to make my way up in it.

“Where’re you off to?” someone called out, and I heard a woman laugh as a man called back.

Fuck this. I grabbed my gun, ripped open the door, and fired a couple rounds in the air.

“Get the f**k out!” I yelled and heard the ruckus as everyone scrambled to their feet.

“Alejandro,” I spotted my right-hand man, “we leave in forty.” I slammed the door shut and headed for the shower.

The spray from the shower beat my face, and no matter how much I pushed away the pain and tried to close the door on Talya, it was impossible. She was the only one I’d ever let inside my tightly closed heart. She’d managed to break down my walls, but only in bed. When we were alone in the dark, I would let my guard down, never with words, just with action. But the moment the sun came up and broke though that protective dark shield, I immediately pulled back and reminded her she was good for one thing. s*x. The lies I told her repeatedly burned at my soul.

I never thought we’d last this long, but s**t, it hurt. I knew I couldn’t allow matters of the heart to intrude on the careful life I’d built here. I pressed my hands against the shower wall and hung my head back and let the water flow into my nose and mouth until my lungs begged me to move. I gasped in a breath and felt the pain flood through me again. This had to stop; it was a maddening loop. I turned the water off and stepped out. I glanced in the mirror and slicked back my hair to try to get a good look at my face.

I swiped the fog from the mirror with the back of my hand and took in my expression. The tormented face that looked back at me gave me a reason to reach for the jar of pain killers in the cabinet. I swallowed them back with some tequila I kept next to the sink. I saw it was nearly empty as I swallowed and tried not to cough at the burn in my throat. The burn went straight down to my stomach. I tossed the bottle in the trash and headed for the closet.

“You look like s**t, boss.” Alejandro cringed when I finally emerged from my room. I buttoned up my shirt, rolled my sleeves, and caught the eye of one of my guys. I jabbed my thumb toward my room to let him know to get my place cleaned up. “I told you not to mix the tequila and those pills Filippo brought. That s**t messes with your head.” His eyes went wide. “I saw dragons last time I done that.”

“Yeah.” I tuned him out as we headed outside. The heat hit us both like a slap to the face. I never touched any of the product these guys pumped through my party. If I didn’t keep a straight head in this business, I was as good as dead.

“Where we goin’ today, boss?” He fiddled with the climate control and lowered the blast of cool air that was aimed at him.

“Pick up, drop off.” I headed down the driveway and out onto the main road. “Then church.”