every lovestory

THIS WOULD BE A BIT LONG STORY SINCE I REALLY PUT THE DETAILS AND WRITE IT WITH FULL OF HONESTY.

I came from a broken family. My father was a soldier. I was 3 when my dad cheats pero gabulag sila sa baye but still gibyaan gihapon mi nya ni mama. I lived with my mother ug mubisita ra si papa kada bulan sa akoa. Akong mama, wala jud ko niya gipanghakog sakong papa kay everytime mangutana kog details about sa akong father, always jud mga good sides ni papa iyang isulti sa akoa ug dili daw ko angay magtanom ug kalagot ni papa kay wala daw koy labot sa ilang problema, love daw ko ni papa. To be honest, when I was young, nangandoy ko nga ma okay ug balik among family.

I tried to ask my father to say sorry kay mama arun maokay na among fam but ang ingon ra ni papa is “if you got the highest rank in your class then I would do it” so I grew up with a competitive mindset in terms of academic, I always tried my best to get that highest rank but I always ended up being the top 2 only. Atong grade 5 ko,nafeel najud nako nga cold na kaayo akong amahan sa akoa, kanang ug dili ko muuna ug pangumusta kay wala lang pud sya so I just think nga basig busy lang jud sya kay syempre soldier. Talagsa ra jud kaayo ko niya kwaon sa balay para ilaag nga unta wala man sya sa field na assign, office raman unta sya so mao to,ingon akong mama nga pasagdaan lang daw kay busy rajud daw akong papa. Nahadlok ko sa akong thought nga basig maminyo nag lain si papa ug si mama ug sala nako kay wala jud nako nakuha ang highest rank maong wala nangitag way si papa nga ma okay among family.

Until I was grade 7 admin, I really focus on my studies kay gikuptan gihapon nako ang sulti ni papa nga ug ma top 1 ko kay magbalik na sila ni mama and yes na top 1 najud ko ato nga time,lipay kaayo ko that time so mao to gikuha nako akong phone para I message si papa nga nakuha na nakong highest rank. Wala ko kasabot sa akong nafeel ato that time admin, nakita nako ang tagged photo ni papa, gikasal sya ug naa syay kugos batang lalaki and they looked like a perfect family. As I saw that post, I cried. It hurts. Nangurog akong tuhod ato nga time ug galisod kog ginhawa tungod sa kahoot sa akong dughan,wala ko kabalo unsa akong angay buhaton. Ulahi na kaayo nako nakuha ang highest rank para I save among family. Feeling nako sala nako ang tanan. Mao sigurong dili nako pirmi duawon ni papa sa balay kay naana diay syay laing family.

Pag abot nako sa balay ato nga time,wala jud ko misulti ni mama sa akong nahibaw an. Pero feel nako that time,naka move on na si mama ug papa sa usag usa, ako nalang juy wala. Didto nagsugod ang tanan nga kada gabii nalang ko maghilak admin tungod kay gimahay nako akong kaugalingon nga wala nako nakuha ang highest rank sauna, unta na okay na unta among family. Wala pako kadawat sa akong nahibaw an sa kang papa nya naa napuy gipaila ila si mama sa akoa nga iyang uyab. They told me nga magminyo napud daw sila whether I like it or not so I was shattered into pieces. Wala nako kabalo aha ko molugar admin. Dili ko gusto mo stay sa balay nilang papa kay nasakitan kaayo ko sa iyang saad nga wala niya tumana ug feel sad nako gipamugos ra nako akong kaugaligon sa kinabuhi ni papa, ug dili pud ko gusto mooban ni mama kay dili ko ganahan sa batasan sa iyang mabana.

Wala nakoy choice admin, at the very young age gaworking student ko sa akong ayaan, wala na ga sustento si papa sa akoa, after nako nahibaw an nga gikasal na sya miundang nakog pangumusta sa iyaha ug wala napud sya ga communicate sa akoa,siguro gikalimtan najud ko niya(while writing this part, my tears races to flow,skl) so mao to murag gatanom nakog kasilag sa akong parents tungod sa kahiubos sa mga panghitabo. Wala pud gasustento akong mama sa akoa kay under kaayo sya sa iyang bana.

Wala ko miundang ug skwela bisan pa man sa akong mga naagian nga problema admin. Gipadayon nako ang pagka top 1 ug ako nay gaprovide sa akong kaugalingon highschool. Mura man noon ug gikalimtan nako nilang mama ug papa kay sukad nangaminyo sila wala najud koy nadawat nga kumusta gikan sa ilaha. I shut the world up admin, I protected myself, I build the walls, ug even friends wala ko ana. I treat every people as a stranger ug dapat dili ko ma attach. Ang akoa lang jung goal is to survive and make my parents regret nganong giabandon ko nila.

Ming graduate kog senior high nga valedictorian admin and the saddest part kay wala jud koy escort, akong ayaan nga gi workingan kay naa syay duty ato so gireach out nako akong mama ug papa bisan pa man ug naa koy kahiubos sa ilaha ug ga expect ko nga muadto sila arun mo escort nako and if muadto sila magdesisyon na unta ko nga walaon na nako tanan nakong kahiubos ug mag move on nako,I let go na nako tanan grudges kay bug at najud kaayo sa dughan pero wala juy mama ug papa nga miabot para mo escort nako admin. Pagtawag sa akong ngalan, mipaso ko nga gatulo ang luha, wala ko batiag kaulaw ato nga time, kasakit tanan nakong nabati kay nafeel jud nako nga dili ko importante. “Wala ko kabalo sa akong purpose sa kalibutan” mao ni nga word una migawas sa akong baba pag deliver nako sa akong valedictory message.

Nalooy ko sa akong kaugalingon admin kay tanan tawo nga galantaw nako, gikaloy an ko nga mura kog useless ug usa ka i**t*l, I really hate that feeling nga kaloy an ko. Nahuman nako ang valedictory message nga gahilak ang tanan teacher namo,dili nako intension nga pahilakon sila pero ang akong mga pulong that time,gikan tanan sa akong dughan ug gipagawas nako tanan kasakit. Thankful rapud kaayo ko sa among principal that time kay every recognition,sya gyuy mutaod nako ug medals ug ato nga graduation tanan teacher nako ang gataod sakong medals. That time, I started to make friends. Our principal hugged me so tight wishpering to my ears that “you are worth it, there is always a rainbow after the rain, you could see that rainbow very soon, I am so proud of you, don’t just exist, live your life” kani nga mga words kay first time nako ni nga nadungog from other people kay most of the time ako ray mag comfort ani nga mga words sa akong kaugalingon.

After I graduated admin, ming offer among principal nga syay mopaskwela nako and yes kinsa ragud ko para mobalibad. Mingpadayon kog skwela pagpamasin nga next graduation, ug magsoot nakog tuga nga itom,si mama ug papa nay akong kuyog. Before ko nag start sa college, gipasaylo na nako akong ginikanan bisag wala sila nangayog pasaylo sa akoa and most of all,gipasaylo na nako akong kaugalingon because I really owe an apology for myself.

Right now, 3rd year college nako, ug grade conscious gihapon. Lowkey na kaayo akong personality karun and I keep things went calm kay dili ko gusto ug bagyo sa akong kinabuhi. I could say nga hapit na nako makita ang rainbow nga giingon sa among principal kay after nako nahatag ang forgiveness nga need nako ihatag, na let go na nako ang mga grudges, and if ever mabasa ni ninyo mama ug papa, I just wanted you to know that I missed you. I missed you so much, and I am sorry that I become the monster of my own self. I am thankful for everything that happens because it taught me a lot of lessons. I hope you could introduce me to your family,don’t worry because I really don’t have intentions to ruin everything, all I want is to spend some time with you ma and pa. I badly want a hug from you pa, the tightest hug. I miss the way you pat my head ma, and your lullabies,I badly wanna hear it. I am patiently waiting for that to happen, maybe in the right time. I always prayed for the both of you.

A Reminder To All Peeps Grown Apart From Their Parents

You are strong. You are stronger than you think you are. Growing up without a parents is not one of the greatest things in life. Being a little girl/boy without a dad and mom to run to is hard. Truth to be told, it affects your life. Being parentless affects your perspective, your views, the way you see the world and especially, your standpoint on relationships. I don’t know for sure what your personal backstory was. You may have grew up witnessing your parents fight. You may have grew up seeing your mom does it all alone. You may have been abandoned by your own fathers. Your dad might have passed away. Or worse, your dad has done bad things to you. I don’t want to go into further details on the reasons coz I might spit fire into the ashes but one thing I’m sure of, you are not alone on this. I know that because I am one of those parentless girls.

There were times when you have to be your own armor. There were times when you have to defend your own self when you were little because no one was there to protect you – to hug you and tell you “It’s okay Princess, mom and dad is here.” You have become your own little princess and have put a crown on yourself because no one has done that for you. You have built your own shell – hard enough to not let anything crush you. It has been tough, I know. But let me encourage you today. You may have had a tough life, but that has made you strong.

Embrace the past no matter how painful it was, and believe me, it will help you grow. Love without limits, love yourself first, because we’ve been so good with that. You are not alone. Let me say that again – You are not alone. There are hundreds of us, or maybe thousands.

All have their fair share of pain. But we will always be here. Comforting each other; motivating each other. The flight was long and bumpy but you are worth it. Always remember this – you are worth it. Don’t you ever let anyone take that away from you. And lastly, YOU ARE LOVED. You are loved by more than you will ever know by someone who died to know you.