Born Of Nothing

23

Fen’s masculine scent that I’d only previously caught in brief whiffs surrounded me wholly as we explored each other’s mouths. But like Cinderella’s clock chiming midnight, all too soon he wrenched himself back, and the magic of the moment was lost. Still electrified from the kiss, my body radiated heat. I was sure if I’d jumped in the river, it would have set the water to boil around me. Fen, on the other hand, looked as though he’d just stepped in cow dung. His eyes flitted about everywhere but at me, and he ran a hand harshly through his newly trimmed hair. “I’m sorry. I should not have done that,” he murmured distractedly. “What? Why?” Had I done something wrong? I may have been a virgin, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t kissed and fooled around. He seemed to be enjoying himself as much as I had been. I was so confused. He shook his head, eyes still not meeting mine. “It’s nothing. I think it is time to go back.” I nodded absently, and we made the entire trip to the hotel in awkward silence. OceanofPDF.com 11 I spent most of the following day wallowing at home. My half-hearted attempts to distract myself were a miserable failure as my mind strayed repeatedly to the explosive kiss I’d shared with Fen, followed by his heartwrenching withdrawal. Having no interest in company, the one thing I had managed to do was avoid my mom for the majority of the day. When I came out of my room for supper, I found her dusting the insides of the small china cabinet. “Hello, love. How was work yesterday?” she asked a little too cheerfully. I’d been so consumed with thoughts of Fen, it hadn’t occurred to me to worry about whether my mom had discovered I’d skipped work. Sweat began to drench my palms, and the hunger I’d felt just moments before evaporated. “Same as always. And you—how was your day?” My words came out clipped, but my mom was apparently too absorbed in whatever she had on her mind to notice. She picked up each cup and saucer, wiping them thoroughly before replacing them on the glass shelves. “I’ve got good news! I think we’ve found a place for you and Aileen to move into soon.” Oh! Well that was good news. The tension in my shoulders eased knowing my secret was still safe, but as I watched my mom continued to clean with abandon, the suspicion resurfaced. “Is that all that’s on your mind, Mom?” I asked hesitantly. She stalled her frenzied action and turned my way. “Yes, just getting the place tidy for tomorrow. I’ve got Sunday dinner plans for us, so make sure you’re home.” I knew my mom like I knew my own freckles, and there was something more she wasn’t saying. “What exactly are these plans?” I started to wonder if she actually had found out about my skipping work, but I was fairly certain she would have asked me directly about it rather than engage in her current mysterious behavior. “My friend Moira O’Keane, her husband, and their son are coming in from Downpatrick; I’ve invited them over. It’s important you’re here, that’s all.” She spouted the words quickly without glancing my way. “Is this a set up? Are you trying to set me up with her son?” I blurted, hands going to my hips. She put down the plate she’d been wiping and slowly faced me. Her features hardened with determination and it made the hackles raise on the back of my neck. “You’re getting older, Catronia. It’s time to find you someone, and it’s not like you can be with just anyone.” Her words were firm, and I could see her knuckles whiten as they gripped her dusting rag. “Of course I can be with just anyone. This isn’t the Middle Ages, you can’t tell me who I’m going to date,” I stuttered with indignation. My mom’s lips set firmly as she took a menacing step forward. “I can, and I will, if needed. There was a time when there were so few of us that marriage to outsiders was a necessity, but now we are a large enough faction that the knowledge must stay within our numbers.” She lifted her chin haughtily before continuing. “It has been decreed by the elders.” “What are you talking about? When?” It was as if I’d stepped into some alternate universe where everything was upside down, and I couldn’t find my way out. “Perhaps if you were responsible enough, I might have told you about our council meetings. As it is, your choice in … company has not proven you to be trustworthy. When Daeglan O’Connor’s father stepped down two months back, Daeglan took his seat as an elder. He’s been working to restore strength to our people, which includes marrying within our own ranks.” I couldn’t wrap my head around her words. I heard them, understood their meaning, but my brain continued to reject their veracity. “Are you saying I’m going to have to marry another druid?” “There’s plenty of fine young druid men to choose from; it’s not exactly a hardship.” Her words were firm with conviction, but her hands had begun to worry at the rag she held, twisting and squeezing at the terry cloth. My nose began to sting, and throat tightened with the threat of tears. “How could you even consider supporting a mandate like that? I’m your daughter,” I spat with disgust. “You’d have me married off to someone I didn’t love just to make sure the elders were happy?” Her features softened just a fraction as she took a small step forward. “Cat, I’m only doing what’s best for you.” “If that’s what you think, then you must not know me at all,” I said in a broken voice before running from the room as the first set of tears broke free and cascaded down my heated cheeks. I tore out the front door as she scurried after me. “You’re acting like a child. Catronia! Cat! You best be home by nightfall!” she hollered from the front steps, but I ignored her screeching voice. By some stroke of luck, I’d had on shoes, and the evening air wasn’t terribly cool, so I wandered the streets for hours. I had no interest in going home, nor did I want to share with my friends the back-water nature of my family. Instead, I let the hurt and despair swallow me whole as I walked aimlessly down nameless streets. Fen had been disgusted by me, and now my mom was selling me off like livestock—in twenty-four hours my world had become unrecognizable. Had my mom expected me to go along with her plan? There was no way I was going to marry some man simply because he was also born into the druid culture. What if I fell in love with someone else first? Was I expected to ignore my heart?