1 Week Home,0 Hours Sleep
640 Words
Day 7 at home.
I hadn’t slept longer than 40 minutes. Neither had Damian.
Ava Rose screamed at 1am. Gas.
Elias Hope screamed at 2am. Hungry.
Both screamed at 3am. Just because.
Damian was on the floor between the cribs. Hair wild. Eyes red. Holding a diaper like it was a bomb.
“Okay,” he whispered to himself. “Step 1: Open. Step 2: Slide. Step 3: Tape. How did the nurse make this look easy?”
He tried. Got poop on his hoodie. From Chapter 24. The hoodie he swore he’d never wash because it smelled like newborn.
“Ava,” he whispered, desperate. “Ava, help.”
I was half-asleep on the mattress. 1 week post C-section. Still healing. “You got this, CEO. Contingency Plan, remember?”
“Contingency Plan didn’t cover this,” he hissed. “This is biological warfare.”
Elias Hope let out a wail that could shatter glass. Ava Rose joined in. Duet of destruction.
Damian looked at both cribs. Then at me. Then at the diaper. Then gave up.
He picked up Elias Hope first. Pressed him to his bare chest. Skin-to-skin. Hoodie was ruined anyway.
“Hey, little man,” he said, voice wrecked. “Daddy’s bad at diapers. Daddy’s good at love. Can we trade? You stop screaming, I stop panicking?”
Elias hiccuped. Paused. Then threw up on Damian’s shoulder.
Damian didn’t even flinch. Just kissed his head. “Trade accepted. That’s okay. Daddy’s washable.”
He switched to Ava Rose. She was purple from crying. Tiny fists swinging.
Damian started humming. Off-key. The nursery rhyme from Chapter 26.
“Twinkle twinkle little star... how I wonder what you are...”
She quieted. Not stopped. But quieted. Looked up at him with my eyes.
“Yeah,” Damian whispered. “You’re my star. Both of you. Even when you’re loud. Even when you’re messy. Especially then.”
4am. Both babies finally crashed. Milk-drunk on his chest. One on each side.
Damian stayed on the floor. Too scared to move. Too scared to breathe too loud.
I crawled over. Slow. Sore. Laid down next to him.
“You’re doing it,” I said. Touched his face. Stubble, sweat, baby spit. “You’re being their dad.”
“I’m failing,” he said. Stared at the ceiling. “I ran a company with 2000 employees. I can’t handle two 3lb humans.”
“You’re not failing,” I said. Pointed at the mess. Diapers on floor. Formula everywhere. Poop on hoodie. “Failure is not trying. You’re trying at 4am with a vomit hoodie. That’s winning, Damian.”
He looked down at both babies. At his chest rising with their tiny breaths.
“In Chapter 1 I fired people for missing KPIs,” he whispered. “In Chapter 33 my KPI is ‘did they breathe for 24 hours’. And they did. Because of you. Because of us.”
Ava Rose grabbed his finger in her sleep. Elias Hope burrowed closer.
Damian closed his eyes. “Can we add a new line to the vow?”
“What?”
“I vow to learn diapers. I vow to function on 0 sleep. I vow to be gross, and tired, and overwhelmed… but never gone.”
I smiled. Exhausted. “Deal. And I vow to love you even when you smell like baby puke.”
He laughed. Quiet. Choked. “Chapter 1 I was worth billions. Chapter 33 I’m worth two baby burp cloths and you. I think Chapter 33 wins.”
Dawn broke. Light hit the mobile. Star, briefcase, ring spinning.
Damian finally fell asleep on the floor. Babies on his chest. Me next to him.
No bed. No penthouse. No sleep.
But for the first time, he looked peaceful.
Because chaos with us was better than quiet without us.
- Writer
