The First Time
1598 Words
Sophia spent the entire next day pretending the phone call never happened.
Which was difficult considering Adrian kept texting her like a man completely unaffected by emotional devastation.
Eat breakfast.
Hydrate.
Stop staring at spreadsheets aggressively.
Sophia hated him slightly.
Mostly because every message made warmth spread quietly through her chest.
Disaster.
Because now there was no more pretending.
No more hiding behind ambiguity or denial.
She wanted him.
And worse—
he knew.
⸻
By evening, Jakarta’s rain had softened into a steady drizzle coating the city in blurred reflections and gold light.
Sophia stood in front of her apartment mirror for an embarrassingly long time before finally giving up.
This was ridiculous.
It was dinner.
Not marriage.
Yet somehow her heartbeat refused to behave normally.
Her phone buzzed.
I’m downstairs.
Dangerous man.
Sophia grabbed her bag immediately before she could overthink herself into cancellation.
⸻
Adrian looked up the moment she stepped out of the apartment lobby.
And for a second—
he simply stared.
Sophia became painfully aware of herself immediately.
Black dress.
Loose hair.
Minimal makeup.
Nothing dramatic.
Still, the expression on Adrian’s face made warmth rise slowly up her neck.
“You’re looking at me strangely,” she muttered.
“I’m trying to recover emotionally.”
Sophia rolled her eyes automatically.
But the tension in her chest softened slightly.
Adrian opened the passenger door for her before walking around the car.
Gentleman.
Annoying.
The drive through Jakarta felt quieter tonight.
Not awkward.
Just heavier somehow.
Because both of them knew something had changed after the phone call.
No more pretending this was friendship.
The realization lingered between them softly while rain slid across the windshield.
⸻
Dinner should have helped.
Instead it made everything worse.
Because Adrian kept looking at her differently now.
Not subtle.
Not distant.
Intentional.
And Sophia became aware of every small thing:
his hand brushing hers while reaching for glasses,
the softness in his voice,
how naturally his attention stayed fixed on her even in crowded spaces.
Dangerous.
By the time they left the restaurant, Sophia’s emotional stability was hanging by a thread.
Rain greeted them immediately outside.
Adrian opened an umbrella above them automatically while guiding her closer beneath it.
Too close.
Sophia could smell cedar and rain again.
Always cedar and rain.
“You’re quiet tonight,” Adrian said softly.
Sophia looked ahead toward the glowing Jakarta streets.
“I’m thinking.”
“That’s usually dangerous.”
“It’s your fault.”
A quiet laugh escaped him.
Then softer:
“Still running?”
The question settled carefully between them.
Sophia looked up slowly.
“No.”
The honesty surprised both of them.
Adrian’s expression changed slightly.
Warmer.
More careful.
Rain continued falling around them while the city blurred softly beyond the sidewalk lights.
Then Adrian lifted one hand gently toward her face again.
Slow.
Patient.
Giving her every chance to pull away.
Sophia stayed still this time.
His fingers brushed softly against her cheek, tucking damp hair behind her ear.
Tiny touch.
Still enough to send heat rushing through her chest.
Sophia’s breathing became uneven immediately.
Adrian noticed.
Of course he did.
“Sophia.”
The way he said her name felt unfair.
Too gentle.
Too intimate.
Sophia looked up at him beneath the rain and city lights.
Then quietly:
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to make bad decisions.”
A soft smile appeared at the corner of Adrian’s mouth.
“Maybe I want you to.”
Dangerous man.
The tension between them snapped quietly after that.
Not dramatic.
Not rushed.
Just inevitable.
Adrian kissed her carefully at first.
Like he was still giving her time to change her mind.
Sophia’s heart nearly stopped.
Because no one had ever kissed her like this before.
Not demanding.
Not careless.
Just gentle.
Patient.
Wanting.
And somehow that terrified her more than roughness ever could.
Sophia’s hand instinctively tightened against his shirt as the kiss deepened slightly.
Warmth spread through her chest so intensely it almost hurt.
Because this—
this felt real.
Rain tapped softly against the umbrella above them while Jakarta glowed around them in blurred gold and silver light.
Sophia forgot everything for a moment.
Her fear.
Her walls.
Her rules.
All she could feel was Adrian’s hand carefully against her face and the dangerous softness of someone kissing her like she mattered.
When they finally pulled apart, neither spoke immediately.
Sophia’s heartbeat felt catastrophically loud.
Adrian rested his forehead lightly against hers.
Still gentle.
Always gentle.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
The concern in his voice nearly destroyed her emotionally.
Sophia laughed softly under her breath.
“That was a terrible first kiss.”
Adrian blinked once.
“…Excuse me?”
Sophia looked entirely serious.
“It was raining. My hair is wet. This is very inconvenient cinematography.”
For one second Adrian simply stared at her.
Then laughed.
Really laughed.
The sound warmed her immediately.
And suddenly Sophia realized something dangerous:
She wanted to kiss him again.
The realization frightened her more than the first kiss itself.
Because it wasn’t impulsive anymore.
It was want.
Real.
Intentional.
Terrifying.
Sophia stepped back slightly beneath the umbrella, suddenly too aware of her own heartbeat.
Adrian noticed the shift immediately.
“You’re thinking too loudly again.”
“I always do that.”
“I know.”
The softness in his voice made panic rise quietly inside her chest again.
Because Adrian looked entirely calm.
Meanwhile Sophia felt like her emotional stability had just been hit by a truck.
“Say something,” she muttered.
Adrian’s mouth curved slightly.
“You kissed me back.”
Sophia closed her eyes briefly.
“Horrifying development.”
“I liked it personally.”
“That’s because you have poor judgment.”
Adrian laughed again softly.
And somehow that made things worse.
Because Sophia was beginning to associate his laughter with comfort.
Dangerous.
Dangerous man.
The rain grew heavier around them.
Adrian glanced toward the street before looking back at her.
“Come on. I’ll drive you home.”
Sophia nodded quietly.
Neither of them mentioned how naturally his hand settled briefly against her lower back while guiding her toward the car.
But Sophia noticed it anyway.
Of course she did.
And unfortunately—
she liked that too.
⸻
The drive back to her apartment felt different from every other night they spent together.
Quieter.
Not because of awkwardness.
Because now every silence felt intimate.
Sophia stared out the window while rain blurred Jakarta into gold and silver streaks beyond the glass.
Meanwhile she could still feel the memory of Adrian’s mouth against hers.
Disaster.
“You’re smiling again,” Adrian said suddenly.
Sophia immediately frowned.
“No, I’m not.”
“Liar.”
“I’m reconsidering the kiss.”
“You already admitted you wanted another one.”
Sophia turned toward him sharply.
“I absolutely never said that.”
“You looked it.”
Unbearable man.
By the time they arrived beneath her apartment building, Sophia’s emotions felt dangerously unmanageable.
Neither moved immediately after the engine stopped.
Rain continued tapping softly against the windshield.
The atmosphere inside the car shifted again.
Heavier now.
More intimate.
Sophia suddenly became aware of how close they were sitting.
How easy it would be to lean across the center console.
How much she wanted to.
Terrifying.
“You’re doing the panic thing again,” Adrian murmured softly.
Sophia sighed tiredly.
“This is emotionally exhausting.”
A quiet laugh escaped him.
Then softer:
“Sophia.”
Her chest tightened immediately.
“Come upstairs.”
The invitation slipped out before she could stop it.
Both of them froze briefly.
Not because it was shocking.
Because this time it meant something different.
No more ambiguity.
No more pretending.
Adrian studied her carefully.
“You sure?”
No pressure.
Always giving her room to choose.
Sophia swallowed slowly.
Then nodded once.
“Yes.”
⸻
An hour later, Sophia sat curled against one end of her couch while rain continued pouring outside the apartment windows.
Adrian sat beside her, close enough that warmth lingered naturally between them.
Not touching.
Yet somehow the tension felt even worse now.
Better.
Worse.
Same thing.
Sophia stared down at the untouched tea in her hands.
“I don’t know what happens now.”
The honesty came quieter than expected.
Adrian leaned back slightly beside her.
“Nothing has to change tonight.”
Sophia looked at him carefully.
“You say things like that very casually.”
“What things?”
“Emotionally stabilizing things.”
A soft smile appeared on his face.
“You make that sound criminal.”
“It probably should be.”
Adrian laughed quietly.
Then after a moment:
“We go slowly.”
Sophia’s chest tightened unexpectedly.
Slowly.
No pressure.
No demands.
No expectation that one kiss suddenly changed everything.
Just slowly.
The realization made something ache softly inside her chest.
Because Adrian never made love feel like surrender.
He made it feel safe enough to approach carefully.
Dangerous man.
At some point during the conversation, Sophia stopped realizing how close they’d moved together on the couch.
Until Adrian’s arm brushed lightly against hers.
Warm.
Steady.
Sophia looked up automatically.
And suddenly the room felt quieter again.
Rain outside.
City lights.
Breathing.
Adrian lifted one hand carefully toward her face.
Still patient.
Still giving her time.
Sophia leaned into his touch before thinking.
The movement shocked both of them slightly.
But Adrian’s expression softened immediately afterward.
And for the first time in years—
Sophia let herself stay there.
- Writer
