Chapter 4: Daddy
1336 Words
The phone screen dimmed, then lit up again. I kept turning it on and off, like I had OCD.
The message was still there.
“Sorry.”
Just three words. No explanation. No excuses. No “I was drunk” or “I was lied to.” Just three words.
What should I reply? Not reply? Or just delete it? f**k, this is really pissing me off.
I threw the phone onto the nightstand, rolled over, and buried my face in the pillow. But as soon as I closed my eyes, my mind was full of that rainy night five years ago. He stood in the doorway of his study, his eyes cold as a winter river.
“Get rid of it.”
I sat up abruptly, my heart pounding like crazy.
Five years. I could still recite those words word for word. The tone of his voice, his expression, even the color of his tie back then — navy blue. I still remember it.
What a f*****g joke.
I got out of bed barefoot and pushed open the children’s room door. Moonlight slipped through the gap in the curtains and fell on the two little ones. Vivi hugged her little bunny doll, one finger still in her mouth. Jay sprawled out, one leg kicked out from under the blanket, his mouth slightly open.
I crouched down, tucked Jay’s leg back under the covers, and gently kissed Vivi’s forehead.
They didn’t know. They didn’t know their mother had once been thrown away like trash by a man. They didn’t know that same man was now kneeling in a hallway saying “I’m sorry.”
“Mommy?”
Vivi opened her eyes sleepily.
“Shh.” I stroked her hair. “It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”
She closed her eyes and soon fell asleep again.
I leaned against the doorframe of the kids’ room and looked at them for a long time.
What if… what if Kael really wants to see them? What should I do?
No. No way.
I pinched my palm. He doesn’t deserve it. At least not yet.
But another voice in my head asked: Then when will he deserve it? Until the day the children stop asking “what does Daddy look like”?
I didn’t know. I really didn’t know.
---
The next morning, I took the kids to kindergarten.
Vivi bounced toward the school gate. Jay followed behind, then suddenly stopped and looked up at me.
“Mommy, was that ‘sorry’ yesterday from Daddy?”
My heart sank.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I peeked at your phone.” Jay lowered his head, his voice small. “…I’m sorry.”
I crouched down and looked into his eyes. Those eyes — amber — so much like his father’s.
“It’s okay,” I said softly. “But it wasn’t from Daddy. Just… someone I know.”
“Liar.” Jay raised his head, his eyes a bit red. “You’re lying, Mommy.”
I was stunned.
“I know it’s Daddy. Aunt Lin showed me his picture. He is our daddy, isn’t he? Then why doesn’t he want us?”
My heart clenched painfully. I opened my mouth, but didn’t know what to say.
Aunt Lin — our babysitter. She showed the kids the photo. But why would she do that?
I took a deep breath and pulled Jay into my arms.
“He… doesn’t not want you.” I forced the words out with difficulty. “It’s just… there are some things he hasn’t sorted out yet.”
“Then when will he sort them out?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
Jay didn’t ask again. He took Vivi’s hand and ran off. I watched their backs, my nose stinging painfully.
---
After dropping off the kids, I didn’t go home. Instead, I went to the law firm.
The office was piled with case files. I sat down, turned on my computer, and stared blankly at the screen.
My assistant pushed the door open and set down a cup of coffee.
“Luna, you look pale today. Didn’t you sleep well?”
“I’m fine.” I took a sip of the coffee — bitter, and frowned.
“Um… Kael Blackwood’s lawyer called again. He said…”
“Said what?”
“He said Kael wants to talk to you. About the children.”
My fingers tightened until my knuckles went white.
“Tell him there’s nothing to talk about.”
“Luna…” My assistant hesitated. “Actually, I think you might consider it. After all, he is the children’s father…”
“I said, there’s nothing to talk about.” I looked up into her eyes. “I don’t want to say that a third time.”
She nodded and left.
I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling.
Yes, he was the children’s father. But he was also the man who made me kneel alone in a rainstorm, nearly dying in childbirth.
Who could give me back those five years?
---
Meanwhile, in another part of the city, in a different office building.
Kael stood at the floor-to-ceiling window, gripping his phone in his hand.
On the screen was the message he’d sent last night — “I‘m sorry.” Status: read. No reply.
He smiled bitterly.
Of course she wouldn’t reply. What made him think she would?
“Kael.”
Seraphina’s voice came from behind him. He didn’t turn around.
“What are you doing here?”
“Just checking on you.” She walked closer, her high heels almost silent on the carpet. “Heard you didn’t sleep last night?”
“None of your business.”
“Kael, I know you’ve been digging into what happened back then.” Seraphina stood beside him, looking out at the city. “I know you hate me. But some things… aren’t what you think.”
“Then what are they?” Kael finally turned. His amber eyes were bloodshot. “You bribed the driver. You bribed the nurse. You forged my signature. Tell me — what else is there?”
Seraphina fell silent.
“She carried my child, alone for five years.” Kael’s voice dropped low. “And my children — called some other man ‘daddy’ for five years?”
“She hasn’t married anyone,” Seraphina said.
“That’s not the point.” Kael clenched his fists. “The point is you destroyed the five years they should have had.”
Seraphina lowered her head, her shoulders trembling slightly.
“I destroyed myself too,” she said softly. “Do you know how those five years were for me? Every day felt like being roasted over a fire.”
“You deserved it.”
“Yes.” She raised her head, tears finally falling. “I deserved it. But Kael, have you ever thought — why didn’t you ask her a single question back then? Why didn’t you find out for yourself? With one sentence you condemned her. It wasn’t me who ruined you — it was yourself.”
Kael’s face went pale instantly.
Seraphina wiped away her tears and turned to leave.
At the door, she stopped but didn’t look back.
“Kael, if you really want to make things right, stop sending ‘I’m sorry.’ Do something real.”
The door closed.
Kael stood at the window for a very, very long time. So long that he seemed like a statue without a soul.
---
Night.
I sat on the balcony, holding a cup of tea that had long gone cold.
My phone buzzed.
Not Kael. A photo from Vivi’s kindergarten teacher.
In the photo, Vivi and Jay were drawing. Vivi drew a flower. Jay drew a man, and beside him he scribbled in crooked letters: DADDY.
Finally, my tears fell. I asked myself over and over: Is my choice right?
I didn‘t know!
---
- Writer
