Soft as Spring

Chapter 3: A Place to Begin

The Conservatory's oldest water channel ran beneath the greenhouse, clogged with roots and years of fallen leaves. Elias found the access hatch behind a row of winter citrus trees.

I held a lantern while he lifted the iron cover.

"You're sure this is safe?" I asked.

"No."

"That wasn't reassuring."

"I thought you preferred honest answers."

I held the lantern lower. "I prefer answers that aren't going to get us trapped underground."

"Then don't come down."

I looked at the black opening. A narrow stone stair descended into the channel. I had avoided the Conservatory's old tunnels for years, though I had never admitted that to anyone.

"I'll come," I said.

Elias waited. He didn't offer a hand until I stepped onto the first stair. Then he held it out, palm up. I took it.

His fingers were warm. Mine were not.

The tunnel smelled of wet stone and leaves. We worked in silence for a while, pulling branches from the channel and setting them aside. Elias marked the blocked sections on a small map. I cleared debris from the grate.

When I found the first jammed sluice gate, I tried to turn the wheel. It wouldn't move.

"Let me," Elias said.

I stepped aside. He braced his boots against the wall and leaned into the handle. The wheel groaned but held.

"Together?" I asked.

He looked at me. "Together."

We pushed. The metal shrieked, then moved an inch. A thin ribbon of water ran through the channel.

I laughed before I could stop myself.

Elias glanced at me. "What?"

"Nothing. It worked."

"That's usually how that goes."

"I've spent a long time watching things not work."

"Maybe you're standing too far away."

I didn't know whether he meant the gate or the rest of my life. I decided not to ask.

When we emerged, Maura was waiting by the greenhouse door.

"How did it go?" she asked.

"We cleared one section," I said.

"Did you find the old spring valve?"

Elias wiped his hands on his coat. "Why would you ask about that?"

Maura's eyes moved to the folded map in his hand. "The Conservatory's records say the channel connects to the east garden. I assumed you might find the valve."

"It connects to more than the east garden."

Maura looked at me. "Did he show you?"

"He showed me the map."

"Bring it to the Registry," she said. "The board will want a copy."

Elias folded the map more tightly. "This is my work."

"No one is taking it from you," Maura said. "The Conservatory maintains the channel. We should know what we have."

"I'll decide what to share."

The air between them went still.

Maura's voice softened. "Of course."

She turned to me. "Be careful with him, Elowen. People who have lost everything can make desperate promises."

I watched her walk away.

Elias said nothing for a while. Then he asked, "Does she often warn you about people she brings to you?"

"No."

"Does she often bring you people?"

"No."

"Then perhaps she isn't worried about me."

I looked down at the mud on my shoes. "What do you think she's worried about?"

"That I found something she expected me to find."

He didn't explain. He didn't have to. The channel, the map, the east garden. Maura had known about the valve before we entered the tunnel.

That evening, I went to the Registry and requested the Conservatory's original maps. The clerk took my name and wrote it in the inquiry ledger.

"Have you asked Maura?" she said.

"I want the records."

"That is not the same as answering me."

"I know."

She gave me a receipt with the date and my request number. I tucked it into my notebook.

I had spent years wishing for the courage to ask someone to choose me.

It turned out I could begin with asking a clerk for a piece of paper.