Mother's Obsession

No Tears Left to Cry

Colette Smith (P.O.V.)

I could never understand the concept behind getting upset at someone who is upset at you. Like what is the reason behind it? Why are you upset that this person is mad at you for the way that you have been treating them? Is that you are upset that they are not allowing you to manipulate them in unimaginable ways?

I am currently in bed, pondering on the thoughts I was currently having about Callum after I let it slip that I knew about his infidelities. I have been acting nonchalant about the whole ordeal, however, I guess the guilt was consuming him because Callum has taken it upon himself to give me the silent treatment. That night, when he went to shower, I laid in bed and continued to ponder on what could possibly happen next. I sort of expected that Callum would come right out and confess to me about what he has done, but he did nothing of the sort. I then gave him the benefit of the doubt…I told myself that cheater’s guilt would get the best of him and then maybe he would take it upon himself to spoil me as an attempt to persuade me that he cares so much about our relationship and what we have together. I had expected him to start trying harder to keep me, start doing things for me that he never did before as to keep my mind off the idea that he has been cheating on me.

But he did not do any of those things. Despite the fact that he has clearly proven to me that he no longer loves me or cares about our relationship, I know to myself that I am not going to let him leave me and our baby. I will not become a single parent. I grew up in a broken home and it messed me up big time, I will not let that happen to my child. I want for my child everything I was never given but needed as a child growing up in a broken home. The plus side to this is that, knowing Callum does not want to be with me, but might be forced to stay with me all because he got me pregnant intentionally and he cannot just leave me stranded with this kid.

I know what I have to do now.

I must get rid of Lisa Warden, but I need an excuse to get Callum out of the house for a couple of hours. I could not possibly tell him that he should go out for a breather because I know he would be going over to Lisa’s which cannot happen because I need her over here…with me…alone. I also need to do this strategically where she would not end up texting him that I called her over.

Hm…what if I went over to her place instead. When I get there, I would have to immediately take her phone away, because I just know that he would most likely text her to come over since I would not be at home.

It way about lunch time now on a Saturday. I had nothing better to do since I had gotten all of my assignments done last night because I could not sleep. I stayed up all night overthinking and figured that while I had enough energy to stay awake that I might as well had gotten some work done. With that mindset stuck onto me consistently, I ended up finishing all of my assignments for the this week and the following one to come, so generally speaking, I am practically free of all things academic for a couple of days.

I climbed out of bed and began getting myself ready to pay Lisa a visit. Callum was currently in the living room watching television without his phone, but I think he is under the assumption that I am really stupid. I know for a fact that he left his phone in the bedroom with me all alone so I would think that he got nothing to hide.

I shook my head at this.

I do not know why he is acting as though, muting chats is not possible, or simply blocking someone or telling them not to message you for a specific period of time has not already been thought of. As I have said before, Callum is not the brightest bulb in the box. He failed to consider the fact that I am a university student who is at the top of her class, majoring in health psychology with an emphasis on forensic science and a minor in behavior modification.

I know all of his tricks and games before he even tries them out on me. I am always one step ahead and I could never not know about something if he is hiding it because he always acts so suspicious and would usually start doing things he would not be doing if he did not have anything to hide. I would know this because at one point he never had anything to hide. I had the passwords to his phone and every social media account, I would check them religiously in the beginning and while doing this, Callum never had a problem with it, nor did he even care so much about his phone.

However, as we got more comfortable with each other and things got more serious, so did his need for privacy on his phone. This started one day when he went out to spend the day with his family; while he was out with them, he said that they were simply catching up on  life and talking about relationships. It is then, according to him, that he had an epiphany and he decided to make drastic decisions in our relationship…without informing me. This included changing the password on his phone and social media accounts and then deciding that if I wanted to see something on his phone, I would have to ask him first.

Mind you, I only found out about his, because one day while he was asleep, he a got a message from a girl, I specifically told him to stop talking to for a while just until I could sort out my mental health issues because the fact that he constantly had all of these girls surrounding him all of the time, always bothered me to the point where I could never be able to think straight for days. He agreed that he would take a pause on talking to her for a bit but then I saw her message him and the message sounded like a response to a previous message that he sent. Of course, when I saw this, I immediately thought that something was going on because Callum obviously could not stay away from this girl, so I typed in the passcode that I knew and tried to get into his phone.

But it did not work. It had been changed. I remember rushing over to the bed where he was asleep and waking him up to unlock his phone. I did not even ask him to, I demanded that he did. When he unlocked the phone, I went into the girl’s chat and I asked him why he was still talking to her. His dumb excuse was that he stopped for a couple of days because he thought that was all the time that I needed to figure things out in my head. Then he went on to explain why he changed his password and whatever.

As petty as I am, when I changed the password to my phone as well, I also locked my notifications so that one would need my password to even read my notifications. When he noticed this, he threw a fit but did not press any further because he has always been the type to just not care about who I talk to and if I cheat or not. He always said that he did not trust me but trusted that if I were to cheat, he would never find out, so he never stresses over it.

That kind of mentality always makes me feel like I am not valued or worth much to him but at the same time it is not something that I could control either. He also has the tendency now to go everywhere with his phone even though he is still in the same house as me and just a few feet away from it.

So now that it is with me, all alone in this room, I could only imagine how much precaution he took before he felt safe enough to leave me alone with his most prized possession.

I got dressed in a pair of black shorts and an oversized black t-shirt. This was my form of taking extra precaution to ensure that even if blood got onto my clothes, they would not be easily visible. Besides, it is such a plain outfit. Perfect for burning to get rid of the evidence. I put on a pair of black flats then went on to tie my hair into a really high bun. I did not need to get blood into my hair just mere hours after washing it. That is just unnecessary work for me.

I grabbed my bookbag from my bed where I usually kept all of my books and laptop for safekeeping as I did not have an actual workstation and I did most of my schoolwork on my bed. I used to sit at the table in the living room, but now that I am pregnant, I am always tired and doing work on my bed is easier since I could take short naps in-between my studies without having to continuously move around with my things.

I emptied the bag and packed a garbage bag, some butcher knives, and cleaning products. I grabbed my phone and snuck into the garage so that I could slip my big, heavy bookbag into the trunk without anyone seeing me and asking questions. I was not going to bother telling Callum that I was leaving the house but then I thought about the possibility of anyone asking him for my whereabouts. I need an alibi, so I walked into the living room to tell him I was going to the mall to watch a movie. I just know he would not have asked to tag along just cause he does not want anything to do with me and he would prefer to spend time with Lisa.

Speaking of Lisa, I did not bother to call her beforehand to let her know I was visiting because I knew that she would have texted Callum about my intentions and that would not be good.

“I am going to the mall to just relax, might watch a late movie. I am not sure, but if I do, I might be gone for a couple of hours.” I said to Callum who did not even bother to spare me a glance.

He was going to ignore me and continue sulking.

Okay then.

I shrugged and made my way to the garage. This is going to be so much fun.

When I got to Lisa’s place, I made my way over to the front door and knocked on it rapidly and loudly.

A frantic Lisa opens the door, and I began to sob. Loudly.

“Oh my! What happened? Are you okay?” She asked me, looking around to see if anyone was outside of their house witnessing this scene.

“I-I think that Callum is cheating on me.” I stuttered.

I watched as she pulled her robe tightly across her body and it is then I saw it. Her baby bump.

My heart sank. I immediately felt like throwing up. My throat got dry, and my mind grew blank. My breathing quickened and I felt faint for a second. I wanted to cry but that feeling felt so overwhelming that the tears did not appear in my eyes.

I was in shock.

Lisa pulled me into the house and took me over to the couch on the living room.

“Y-you are pregnant?” I asked her, as if I did not already put two and two together.

“Um, yeah. I wanted to keep it on a downlow because I did not want people gossiping and starting rumors. That would only just take away from the magical moments you experience when you are pregnant. You should know. Look at you! But I digress. I am sorry. Why do you think Callum is cheating on you? I am shocked, I just cannot picture him to ever do anything foul.” Lisa said feigning shock.

I ought to reach across the couch and smack her. Hard.

Just then her phone rang, he was place next to us on the table, so I was able to see who was calling her.

Callum…except his contact was saved as baby, but I caught a glimpse of the number before she grabbed her phone and rejected the call.

I chose to ignore it and act like I did not see anything. I explained to Lisa all of the signs I had been getting from Callum before I broke down in tears again.

“Can I get a glass of water and a tissue please?” I asked softly.

I watched as she slipped her phone into the pocket of her robe and got up to go to the kitchen to retrieve the water. As she turned her back toward me, I smacked her on the head with the same rock I use on Martha. Lisa immediately blacked out.

Ah, time to get to work.

Lisa Warden (P.O.V.)

I came to with a thudding headache, eyes closed against the dull pain. The back of my skull throbbed like a w***e's heart-my heart.

“Ah! What the f*ck?” I bit out a curse and moved my hand to the back of my head in order to inspect the damage – except that it did not move.

Something was restraining my arms. My legs, too, were immobilized. I made note of this as I tried to get up, but something was holding me back against my attempts to move. No matter how much I tried to get up there was a force holding me down and I could not do anything about it. I was lying prone as my chest was pressed against the ground and my back faced the ceiling. The violent hum of electricity streaking through the air assaulted my battered head, calling forth a grimace of agony. A steady dripping echoed all around me, but it seemed to come from a single source.

That could either be a runny tap, or a leaky roof. I pondered to myself, but I held my suspicions over the cliché atmosphere of my inevitable dead. This is not how I am going to die…is it? I could question the universe about its plans for me, but I know the universe would be against me for all the wrong that I have done. I could lay here and ponder on my past actions and beg for forgiveness, thus further bringing on a surge of regret and hatred toward myself for acts that I cannot undo; or I could simply just accept what is, form my own peace and know to myself that I was successful in all that I did. I worked hard like I wanted to and came out on top like I had plotted all along.

How long had I been out cold?

I smacked my lips together only to notice how dry my mouth felt. My lips were parched, and hunger growled in my stomach. I cracked open my eyes to better perceive how deep in sh*t I was taken and placed against my will.

Blackness continued to engulf me as there was no source of light anywhere around me or even next to me. A tremor of panic vibrated in my core or was it the fact that I currently laid on my baby bump which was being pressed against the hard cold concrete floor that internally unsettled the fetus within me. I was blind, sightless, motionless, restrained. I was as good as dead, a lamb awaiting slaughter. Poultry breathing its last lungful before the bloodied knife would steal it forever more. That slight tremor increased in intensity until I physically shook in time with it.

Maybe this is all a dream. A very vivid dream.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to convince myself of the knowing lie.

It is all a dream, all a dream. Only a nightmare. I will wake up any second now. Just a dream. Not real, not real.

It is not real!

I desperately tried to wrench my arms free and felt narrow straps dig into my flesh. I cried out in pain and kept battering at the straps with my forearms. The resistance sawed in deeper and drew blood from what I could have felt running down my arm, but I was too far gone to notice the pain that accompanied it. My every instinct forced me to fight this unseen enemy, to escape these bonds, to run free once again.

I snapped my head back, the sudden impact dizzying me for a moment, but I tried my best to keep a cool head on my shoulders. For the sake of the baby, I needed to reserve any ounce of sanity left in me as well as my strength to get through this alive for the life inside of me to continue living.

I hit the metallic table again and again with the back of my head, pounding away at my restraints.

“Hello?! Somebody? Anybody? Help me!! Please! Let me out of here!” I yelled out, a shout mingled with fury and panic.

The stuffy air invaded my mouth, causing me to gag. How had I not notice before? The metallic scent of blood mixed with the stench of excretion, like fingers of decay forcing their way down my throat and lodging into my heart. I wanted to beg for my freedom, I was more than prepared to do anything to get it back. Maybe I could convince my capturer to let me go in exchange for something. Money always talks and I have more than enough right now.

My strength was beginning to ebb; my poundings came at longer intervals; my feet beat the painstakingly slow rhythm of a burial march. I drew in ragged breath after another, inviting the foul fingers back into my throat again and again – a demented adult film of sickening proportions.

A squeak from rusty hinges; someone was coming in – or going out, I realized. They were leaving him there to die of hunger and thirst.

No! No, no, no, no!

Why?

What have I done? Well- a lot but everyone has a price. Everyone has something that they want.

Let me free, let me fly again!

I think that the panic is starting to get to my head…well…you know what I mean. I felt rather delusional. Is this what adrenaline feels like when you are placed in a situation such as this? Is this my brains way of trying to calm me down so I do not die from a self-inflicted heart attack?

Wait.

Is that a thing?

I tried to cry for help, but my throat was raw from shouting by now and my lips were long-deprived of liquid; a gasp bubbled from my lips instead. The distinct sound of swishing cloth reached my ears.

It was coming closer.

 Closer, closer, and then it passed me. The faint footsteps receding into the other direction.

“Come... ba-...” I croaked as loud as I could but the absence of moisture in my throat restricted my ability to speak as I wanted.

“No... Do not...”

I listened for an excruciatingly long and impatient moment. They were not coming back. They had left me to rot, to die in the darkness. They had left me hanging over the open maw of Satan, suspended from chains. My tortured throat let out a pathetic cry as I attacked my bonds with the remainder of my strength.

I will get free, I will. I will make sure of it. I will convince them not to kill me. It might be difficult seeing as they had gotten this far but I will escape. I will walk in the sun again. I will be able to see my future husband again.

Callum…

I thrust upwards with every muscle I had in me which was not much, but I had hoped it would do some sort of damage toward my restrains. I gritted my teeth when the straps tightened around my form, trying to overcome my captivity. I could feel the knots groan in strain, and this only made me push even harder.

Hope.

It existed. Even if it were a false sense of it, it was enough at this moment to keep me going.

Just a little more... A few inches. One of the knots popped out of its socket, cleanly as a twisted arm. He clenched his teeth harder. A few more and he'd be free.

“Hey Doc, it seems our patient is awake,” someone said above him, her voice brimming with excitement.

A set of dragging footsteps echoed into my struggles.

A doctor? They would set me free.

They will help me. Trust the doctors, doctors help. They do. Help. Help!

I allowed my aching body to collapse onto the metallic surface, breathing heavily.

The footsteps had stopped. I could hear soft breathing then something nudged my hip painfully- a questioning prod from the shadows; I immediately shirked away from the sadistic touch the best that I could.

“Hmm. It does seem so.” This was the same voice from earlier, but this time it was all warmth drained by lack of compassion. I was not sure if the speaker could even be human considering the fact that they were speaking to themselves they may as well be deranged as well.

“Well, let us gaze upon her visage.”

The implications of this request did not have the time to register in my mind before a hard fist wrenched the rough bag from my head, ripping out some of my hair in the process. I cried out as bright illumination wormed its way through my eyes and into my brain, eating away at my nerves, biting them raw. Blistering scabs were ripped open inside my head as the parasitic rays of light feasted upon my flesh, flaying me bloodily from the inside. Through the haze of agony, I could hear the two voices conferring from the same person above my prone form.

“I always thought you were prettier than me you know, that was at least until I learned about you stealing my boyfriend away from me then to top it all off, you got pregnant. The f*cking audacity. Now, I could go on all day about how much I trust you, and how much you hurt me but that would be a waste of time and electricity. I guess you were ugly from the inside which is far worse than anything the physical traits you choose to flaunt. So what if I have a flat chest? I did the impossible…something that you could never do. I got my man with my clothes on…what did you do to get him?”

Colette…

What the hell?

The inhumane voice answered to Colette.

 “Who are we to judge? They all look the same on the inside with all this useless covering gone. Take away all the decorations and we are all as ugly. We hide demons devoid of conscience inside ourselves; we keep them hidden in the secretive corners of our hearts, livers, lungs. It is our job to bring them into day light, to let them burn in the purge of the illumination. Which is exactly what she must be going through now.”

The cold voice grew an edge of lust.

“Her hidden demons are contorted in spasms of agony as we speak. They twist and writhe in time with the physical spasms of her body. See her squirm and groan! That is her darker side answering to the caress of light.”

All of a sudden there was a sudden stinging sensation throughout my body. Nausea from within grew overwhelmingly stronger making me gasp and groan, my eyes rolled back into my head unable to withstand the seemingly torturous sensation. Soon I felt numbness spread throughout my body but the nauseating feeling lingered. I tried to close my eyes, but someone was keeping them open. Froth danced on my lips, and my whole form shivered in faint spasms, all the fight I had in me earlier, was gone. I knew I had lost the fight that I stood no chance winning. Sweet oblivion slowly accepted me into its grim grasp. The last thing I felt before my body surrendered the poison in my system, was a knife, slicing my belly open through a hole in the table beneath me. Sweet innocence ripped away from me as my life bid me farewell in the distance.