Reclaim my Soul

Hidden Intentions

*Five years later*

As Jessie stared into nothing, she wished she would disappear and become nothing.

She thumbed the inside of her thigh, her fingers cold and almost numb from the low temperature in her bedroom. She always left the air conditioning on full blast, hoping the cold would numb all her pain.

She knew Janet would come in and scold her for leaving the air so cold, then she'd turn up the temperature and help her change her dirty sheets. Janet was a Mexican woman and she knew very little English.

Fabian made sure she was watched and cared for every time.

Everyday that passed since the very first day he took her to his bed had been worse than the last. She was breaking further and further into tiny ugly pieces and she couldn't do anything about it.

He had claimed her like an item. Not giving her a say, and always reminding her that she had nothing else but him. She still hadn't heard anything of her father, it had been twelve long years. And with her many failed attempts to escape this world, it was harder each second to watch herself lose bits and pieces of herself.

She thumbed his semen that oozed out of her and unto her thighs. His semen had no effect on her yet because he still thought she wasn't fit to bear his child, not until he decided it was time. So he put her on birth control shots.

He told her he loved her and that he had never loved anyone more. "You were sent to calm the turmoil that is my world." He had said to her.

But she had decided she didn't want to be his anymore. She was going to leave the estate, one way or another, and she would do it soon.

As she watched and waited for the perfect moment, she feared it may never come. The estate had always been heavily guarded. She knew this not just by the number of guards she saw regularly in the building, but also the ones around the grounds inside and within distance of the huge compound.

She could count on one hand the number of times he had let her leave the compound, and they were all for reasons like; date night with him in a fancy restaurant in some unrecognisable area of town, or occasional shopping for things she never made use of. Or the one time she begged to go grocery shopping with Janet and the rest of the kitchen maids. There were always some of his men around with them.

He let her take walks around the compound when she complained of boredom. And she had taken advantage of that opportunity the past few months.

She had studied the grounds like her life depended on it, watched each guard and every shift change. She studied every part of the guarded areas.

She also wondered why a person would need so much guards in one place.

It was worse in one area of the building, just behind the house, that was the part of the entire compound that was very hidden and very heavily guarded. She never cared to know what was going on there, but she knew it was where he did his dirtiest of businesses.

That part was ruled out of the areas that would be a pathway for her escape.

He was having a big meeting with a handful of his men. Today, there was intensity in the air, he had left the bed in a haste after receiving a call, and as she went to stare out the window, she saw the men in the compound running up to the building with an urgency that made her feel uneasy.

It was getting to midday and Janet hadn't come up to her room to clean up. Jessie didn't leave her window as she watched every movement going on just outside. That was when she heard it.

The gunshots.

Living in Texas and under the roof of Fabian, yes she had heard gunshots before. Hell, she had even watched a man get killed by Fabian right in front of her, but what she hadn't heard or witnessed before was a complete shootout.

As a kid, her father was always home during the holidays, but as usual, he never paid attention to her. While he was drunk or high with one of his new girlfriends, she would sneak out through the doggie door in the back. She never once understood why they had a doggie door when they never owned a pet. She would sneak out and run up to watch the celebrations happening on every Fourth of July, or new year's.

She could remember watching the fireworks up close. The sound and the beautiful colors. That was what she tried to compare this particular moment with.

The shootout. Many gunshots were fired at a time.

And then the rumble. A rumble so powerful it shook the ground. She felt the pane of her window shake like rattling teeth.

It was an explosion and the impact must have shattered some windows in the building.

Before she could think or stop herself, she took off, out of her bedroom and down the empty hallway.

She could hear screaming as the explosions began to die down and the gunshots silenced.

She ran through the hallway, avoiding the down part of the building as it would have been packed with people.

She ran to the west wing of the building that faced the long dirt road, she made her way into one of the toilets that no one ever made use of and opened the lower cabinet, she reached inside, hoping to find the bin bag she had left there a few weeks prior, hoping to God that no one removed it.

She whispered a "thank God" as she found the bag. She opened it and took out the tied up sheets and towels and inspected the knots that she made herself. It was a makeshift rope that she collected bit by bit from the laundry room, she planned on using it to climb out the window.

Her heart pumped too fast, she felt her limbs moving of their own volition. She peered out the window, making sure there was no movement. She had studied this part of the building and compound more than anywhere else. It was the most abandoned part in the entire estate. Only one man guarded the entire perimeter. And he was nowhere in sight at the moment, which meant he was caught up somewhere with the ruckus going on downstairs.

She tied one end of her makeshift rope to one of the poles of the shower curtain attached to the wall, double checking its firmness.

When she was sure she was in the clear, she threw out the other end of the rope, hoping that it'd go almost all the way down, just enough for her to reach a certain height that the fall wouldn't injure her.

There was no time to think, she needed to make good use of every free second she had. She may never get them again.

She took a deep breath and climbed out of the window. She held on to the rope as she dangled from the side of the building. Her heart thumping loudly in her chest.

At that moment, she didn't fear death. What she feared was the man on the other side of the building. She feared him more than anything in the world.

That was her motivation as she began to go down. As her weight pulled the rope, she heard a squeaking sound from the other end of the rope that was still inside the bathroom, and as she dangled lower, the rope started to give in, like the knots weren't tight enough.

She didn't bother checking again, she loosened herself and slid down the rope, her eyes shut, till she reached the end of the rope.

She finally opened her eyes and saw how close she was to the ground, so she took the leap.