Pink Flamingos

City Limits

Since moving to Nevada, I visited the candy store every two days or so. The sweetness in the shop and in Barbara’s smile drew me there every day. Besides Eddie, I didn’t really know anyone else. My mothers’ efforts of introducing themselves to the neighbors had backfired every time. They encouraged me to take their place and knock on doors with a gleaming smile and a kind introduction, but I really couldn’t be bothered. I also didn’t think I’d be very good at it.

Barbara made it easy though. She seemed genuine and kindhearted. There was something about her that made the whole world light and bright when you were with her. She had started giving me discounts on jersey caramels too.

“You making any more friends around these parts?” She asked with a friendly smile.

I shrugged. “Not exactly. People seem closeminded. The only person I’ve really talked to is Eddie, and not because I wanted to.”

“…Eddie?”

Carefully, I began to explain to her that Eddie was the “boy next door” who had been incessantly irritating since my arrival, and how we had almost, but not quite, bonded over a cherry pie. She cut me off.

“I know Eddie. Everyone knows Eddie.” She rolled her eyes.

“Oh?”

“He’s…. loud? Too self-assured. Annoying. Really. f*****g. Annoying.” She giggled.

“Trust me when I say that I’ve figured that out already.”

“He’s a good guy though. I mean, he doesn’t have bad intentions or anything. I just think that he doesn’t phrase things right, you know? He’s not mean. He actually mentioned you yesterday when he stopped by – said that he thinks you’re pretty.”

I sighed. “Well, I guess that’s his business. If he ever mentions me again, tell him I think he should learn some manners.”

“I’ll pass the message on,” she said with a laugh.

Truth be told, I wanted to know more about both Barbara and Eddie. They were the most interesting people I had met so far, not that I had really met many people at all. Barbara was sweeter than anything and I decided that breaking down Eddie’s faux arrogance would be a dream. I thanked Barbara with a smile and left.

I should have walked straight home, like I was meant to. Curiosity took me in the other direction, which unfortunately wasn’t unusual in my life. I popped a jersey caramel into my life and started walking in the opposite direction.

One half of town looked exactly like the other. No street gave me a sense of purpose or inspiration. I was pretty sure that all I was going to get from my “adventure” was a sunburn.

People laid on towels on their lawns or on deckchairs on their patios. No one acknowledged me as I strolled by. I wondered how they could have possibly spent their entire lives in a town where nothing happened.

I almost heard Mama Chelsea’s voice in my head – “We’ve been here less than a week, give it a chance honey!” But as I explored my little slice of Nevada, I was sure that things were only going to get worse. All my neighbors wanted to do was play music and sit in the sun. I loved that too but I just couldn’t stop at that – satisfaction was further from my grasp than ever.

I didn’t really know what I wanted to be, I only knew that I wanted to be something. My grand ambitions had led me nowhere. I wanted away from it all and there was no way to escape my own painful reality.

There was nothing to do except keep walking. It was hard to remember where I had come from; it felt like I was walking past the same house again and again. The only sign that I was moving at all was the rapidly approaching city limit.

So, I kept walking. I wished to walk into an exciting life, somewhere far, far away from everything I knew.

The sand rubbed against my legs as I stood at the edge of the town, surveying the miles that lay ahead. With sweat dripping down my forehead and soaking my shirt, I shielded my eyes and squinted to see Las Vegas standing proudly in the distance, a beacon of hopes and dreams and perversion.

“That,” I murmured to myself, “is where the interesting people go.”

I dreamt of flashing neon lights and showgirls, guys showing off their money and gambling it all away. The booze-fueled conversations, the spur-of-the-moment adventures, the freedom to do whatever the f**k you wanted. That was all I thought about as I stood there.

The only star that I could wish upon was the hot sun blazing above my head. I wished that I could close my eyes and sleep under it like everyone else. But every inch of my mind and body was more awake than ever – I couldn’t forget that I had a purpose. Even if it seemed like no one else did.

It didn’t take me as long as I expected to navigate through the town to find my way back to the trailer park. Or maybe I was just losing track of time – after all, the sun stayed up until at least nine in the evening. Nothing ever changed and the heat never faded away.

As I approached what I was supposed to be calling home, I got the usual nod of acknowledgement from Eddie. No one else did as much. I offered him a weak smile before sealing myself off from the real world inside my trailer for the night.