The Sight of Tomorrow

Chapter 2

Although the fact hadn’t given much thoughts and affections to her, Audrey Calhoun still couldn’t believe how she’d had managed to let Ian transfer in her house. Even there were speculations circling inside her head now, she’s happy that she’d been able to be hospitable again. It’d been years since she had given her life a new beginning, and to give in in the fact, it was hard, really, especially when she’d ended up here four years ago. She was in cold, sunk through the rainy day, and she had nothing to hold on to. And as she could see Ian’s disposition now, she couldn’t get the fact out of her mind that she’d been as same as his position once. It was the day that she had arrived here. And in confusion, she didn’t have the chance to raise herself up. She had no shelter, no food to eat, and the weather . . . all of those had given her the same manner once, plus the fact that her past was bothering her as well.

With those days, she had realized that in every action, there’s always the same, but in addition, was a cruel reaction. And the lesson she had taken, everyone should be ready by those consequences. But my case was different! she fought with her thoughts. I was in pain by those days, and my world had fallen apart, she insisted.

Of course, by chance—no! By reality—in every action that each and every people do, there’s always a reason. But the matter was, her case was too much personal. And to be honest, when she’d thought about men, she could not think properly. She was traumatized by the incident, and the fact that she’d been through trying times, since the past four years, it always had given her excuses not to trust again. Especially when she caught one person sneaking cheats on her. And badly, and as cruel as it could be, it had affected and manipulated her, not only her mind but her heart as well. That’s why even bunch of men tried to have date with her, all of those didn’t worked on her. It always had been cruel, and intimidating at the same time. And there were always complex thoughts that entered her mind. The thing that happened to her was so much complicated, but if the truth to be told, it more to the cynical part of life, and in addition to the fact that it wouldn’t had happened to her without her cause in the first place. And in that reason, she had asked herself the reason why she’s here . . . in this place. Reasons that given her the way to search for another way of living.

She lived here for almost four years in count, and she works at a fine restaurant a few kilometers away from her house. However, in addition to the fact, it was also four years ago, before she had her way in this place, way back on August 2002, she caught his boyfriend—the man he loved to all her heart and soul—in action of cheating. She was kissing another girl in town, and when she asked him why, he denied it. Therefore, she decided to break up with him, and in the same manner, the guy agreed. He said that she was a lousy woman, and no one would love her as the same she did. And with that part, she had reasons not to trust no one but herself. Although, she wasn’t a man hater after all, she’s just being careful and but still conjugated with manner for stake. She could just see how everything would fall into pieces, the outcome that would’ve happen if she didn’t act normal, and the fact that Ian was a man and she was woman. Plus, what had happened last night was indeed. She and him . . . off the skin of each other? My god! Every time that matter entered her mind, she’s being crazy. But she had nothing to do, it’s her choice in the first place. To letting Ian stay in her house, it’s too late to regret, and she’s just scared to how everything would fall in the end.

“Hey!” She was in total shock when her friend, Emily, tapped her in the midst of her internalization. Emily used to be her one and only friend since she’d moved here, she’d always been the one who supports her, and to the fact that she might have not forgotten her past without her as well. However, what she’d had done was nothing but an indeed action of cynic behavior. And it’s all annoying. She turned her head toward her. She held her chest tight, and sighed in relief.

“You’re going to kill me.” She hit Emily with small pressure in her hands. Honestly, she would’ve killed her by shock. Audrey wasn’t into it, after all. Emily’s sudden appearance in her critical thinking wasn’t a good thing to do. And in addition to the fact that in the middle of that situation . . . she just appeared by nowhere? It’s annoying in the first place.

“I’m sorry,” Emily laughed. She was leaning on the counter, behind the cash register, while Audrey was leaning against to one of the empty table in the restaurant. They were wearing their casual uniforms, which was a striped brown and red dress, with a hair bond on their heads. “I’m just wondering why you’ve been acting weird.”

“It’s nothing.” Audrey ignored her and scratched her head in confusion.

“Sure, you do,” Emily smirked. “Just for your information, you have been sitting there for almost an hour,” she said as she moved her head along with her index finger.

“Will you please stop,” Audrey mumbled. “You’re not helping at all.” She sounded irritated, however, she wasn’t really that irritated after all. She was just perplexed by what had happened to her this past week. By Monday, she had cooked a pancake under the sun because her stove tank was empty; on Thursday, she lost the necklace that her mother gave her which she had cried a lot; by the weekends, she was experiencing mild colds; and in addition to those, Ian came to the scene as well. It’s Monday today, and all of those were getting even more complicated.

She didn’t know what to do now, and she knew even if she told everything to Emily, she will never understand what it felt like. Although she told him about the fact and the reason why she had moved here in the North, her reason as a woman was quite ridiculous this time, and she knew that. Just because she had a broken heart, she couldn’t find a way to trust a man again? And she believed that if she told Emily everything, from since she’d met Ian up to the moment she realized that it was her that giving stains to the situation, Emily would’ve said the same thing as well.

“Hey, you can tell me everything. We’re friends right?”

“I know, but it’s nothing serious.”

Because of what Audrey had said, Emily’s eyebrow raised in doubt. “Oh, really?” she said sounding like Queen Susan in one of her line in the first movie of The Chronicles of Narnia. “How serious is that, tell me?” She criticized Audrey with a depriving look. Audrey wasn’t a good liar after all. Emily could laugh in her mind, but if she did, she would be killed by Audrey, obviously.

“Get over it,” Audrey grimaced.

“Pretty please . . .” Emily’s eyes twinkled while her lips lower down as she pleased Audrey to say the reason. Although her position looked weird, however, she still looked beautiful with her own simple ways. She’s tall as same as Audrey, but with the darker twist on her skin. She also had shorter hair, up to her neck, and she had an admirable curve on her body. That’s why most of the time, the costumers who entered the restaurant always gaze at her like a starlight in the sky—however, with a literal shadow casted.

“How long will you annoy me?” Audrey stood from her position and faced Emily on the counter. Their faces were a few centimeters away and both of them could see the imaginary bolt forming through their eyes.

“Not until you tell me the reasons why you have been acting weird,” Emily said looking at Audrey confidently with understatements through her gaze.

“Okay,” Audrey sighed. She raised both of her hands and sat on the chair again. “I’m gonna tell you, but don’t judge me, okay?” she said. “Fair warning, if you did, I won’t tell you the rest.”

“Fine,” Emily sighed, however, the enthusiasm could be seen from her face, a gossip woman who used to know anything. “Go on.”

Then Audrey began to tell the story, she told from how she’d seen him fall from the deck, and how she’d tried to revive him that she’d thought he wouldn’t. And to all of those explanations, Emily enjoyed listening to the story. For the very least, she promised that she wouldn’t judge her, however when the story reached the point when Audrey had slipped her foot and a naked Ian helped her, Emily stood from her sit and screamed in excitement. She blushed at midst of envious. For her it’s amazing and at the same time she could visualize everything in her head. Especially when Audrey described Ian’s muscular body, Emily nearly lost her breath in thrill . . . and chills. An edge of a seat story, that Emily wished that she’d had experienced.

Although Emily wanted to tell Audrey that she shouldn’t have reacted like that, however, she promised to her. And if she’d told her, she might be dead by now. “My God, that was great!” She raised her hands and pressed her head in mixed emotions. “I’d love to meet that man.” After that, and for the very least, they get back to work once the costumers started to arrive.

❧

Ian—the name that he’s now using as his own, and the name that he would admire until his memories are back. It was a good name after all, and every time he hears that name, Audrey’s face had always appeared in his head, her beautiful face that had caught his attention at once. Although he couldn’t say that it was attraction, however all this day, he had nothing to think about but her. So, how do you think about that?

Audrey left her two unexpected letters, letters that had truly woken his mind and soul. It was left over his slippers, and once he got off from bed, he saw her handwriting on pieces of paper left to him.

Dear Ian,

I’ve left early. I have work on a restaurant downtown.

Your meal is ready, and you don’t have to get out of the house to find some. I will be there off soon, just wait, and not try to sneak on my things.

Audrey.

Dear Ian,

You can go to beach yourself. Just don’t go nearby the water. Sometimes you couldn’t say if it was strong or not.

By the way, I will be there by six.

Audrey.

He smiled. Perhaps he has to go around. The sun had come up, and the warmth was beginning to cover up the whole place. He left the room and wandered around. How about the beach? he asked himself. He looked at the window nearby the back porch, and he could see the beach from a distant. There’s no one who wander off around, and now he’s sure that the idea was great. And the fact that his body was beginning to heat up itself, so then he decided.

He spent hours there, soaked by the water, and he couldn’t understand the feeling of enthusiasm that wandered around his body. Although he couldn’t say that it’s all because of the sea, however, once his feet step off, he felt the overwhelming sensation through his veins. He’s mused. Or somehow, he could say that it’s how life works. Sometimes, it’s all ups and downs, however, in the end there’s nothing sure to happen. It’d always been the sight of everyone that led the world. Decisions that were made were all adopted from beliefs. Just like him, he’s confused by his thoughts. Sometimes, it was good, or sometimes, not. But for the very least, he enjoyed it. He guessed that it’s not going to be the first and last time the he would spend a precious time with this place.

A moment later, he went back to the house. He decided that he got enough time spent in here, and in it was a fact that it’s not the only place that he should be at home as well. And in that case, the house entered his mind. He hadn’t wandered off in this place, except on Audrey’s room. So, to the intriguing part, it’s the time now since he’s the only one left. No one’s going to peek on him in the first place.

He’d walked the path that he’d taken to the beach inversely. It was on the back porch, to the small forest he called, particularly. Once in, he was dumbfounded by what he had seen. There were pictures hanging on the walls with some old stuff on the long deck on side. He hadn’t noticed it last night—or even earlier this day. He wasn’t sure, maybe it’s because of tiredness, and however, the pictures were beautiful. It was all vintage as same as the house, and it’s like it had been hanging there for years in count.

In the pictures there were always two people that made up the art. From left to right, it was the same model, however, through ages it’s getting older as it counts. And as he assumed, maybe it’s the pictures of Audrey’s grandparents. And by the fact that she’d mentioned in their conversation last night that this house belongs to her grandparents, which she only inherited one they’d died and with the coincidence that she moved here four years ago.

As he looked through the pictures, he could see the happiness through their faces . . . especially through their eyes. With one look, he could see the deepest sincerity of their love story. Although he didn’t know anything from them much, however, Audrey gave him some history about their tale. And personally, he did kind of liked it more than anyone could ever have. For the reason that to how they surpassed and overcome through trying times, it’s palpably unbelievable. But to them, with all soul and sincerity through their relationship, it had always been enough.

How about my past? Do I have things like this? he asked himself. Every time he’d seen something interesting, he couldn’t help but to be envious, not only the reason that it’s the thing that deserves enviousness, but it’s always giving him deprival reasons in the first place. He’s being sick, and he always asked if when will his memories are going back, which, of course, he couldn’t answer because of some obvious reasons. For hours that he’d spent here, aside from being amused by his discoveries, he’d also being stressed by hours of thinking of who he was. Who he should be? And in the first time around, he wished that he also have this kind of things that will remind him on who he should be. However, it was impossible. And the thing was, he had no belongings like this after all. And in that case, he had nothing to do but to endure all of those by one blink of eyes. And in the end, he still believed that all of these will end soon. And just like these people, he would surpass this difficulty, and the pain will all vanish at once. Because in his belief—and the premise that he’d always believed, pain and being relieved from pain is the first and final sign of moving forward.

❧

“You gotta be kidding me!” Emily yelled in disbelief. “That’s sure? Ha, ha, that’s awkward.” She then took a bite on the chicken leg and chewed much.

She was sitting under a small dining table together with Audrey and Ian. And for the very obvious topic that would build up their conversation, it would always be about the thing that happened to both of them. Although she heard all about it since both of her and Audrey was on Casa Montero, however, she still tried to be enthusiastic and realistic for some reason. Obviously, the slip thing was hilarious, Audrey must’ve said something to Ian by that moment. And Audrey just said . . . thanks. She wanted to scream with all her heart and soul, but she couldn’t just rely on that fact. Although she wanted them to be more comfortable to each other, but let’s be honest here, she’s the only one who’s being killed by their awkward romance.

“Will you please stop it . . .” Audrey smiled to Emily, giving her an unusual glare; her eyes narrowed. Her smile was plastic; she wanted to send Emily the message on her look: You got to be ready on my vengeance. You’re too cheerful for this situation. A great friend . . . really, really. If she did just know a little bit sooner that Emily would act like this, she must’ve not considered her request to meet Ian. She said that she’d be quite, but what she’s doing was not. And to be honest, Emily got to her nerves already. Enough of it already!

But on Ian’s point of view, it didn’t make any sense after all. It should’ve not given any malicious thoughts, although he had no idea to what they’re thinking, however, it’s way too obvious to how they’d spoke.

“No, that’s all right,” Ian said then afterward smiled. “It’s like we can do anything.” He looked at Audrey, and she seemed disgusted for seconds. The bitter aura in her face . . . it’s no joke.

❧

The moment that Audrey and Ian spent together with Emily didn’t took much time. She had to go home early, given the fact that she lived two towns ahead from this. And it’s indeed that although Audrey had her way disgusted to what Emily was saying earlier, they had fun. And to be honest, in Ian’s opinion, he’d never seen a kind of jolly person like Emily. Given the fact that he has amnesia, but he’s sure that it would be déjà vu . . . or somehow glimpse of his memory will appear all at once. He hadn’t given up on searching that truth behind himself, and knowing that there’s person like Emily and Audrey would support him on his way to that dream.

“Do you want to take a walk?” Ian’s head turned to the side when he heard Audrey’s voice from the back door. He was cleaning the table when Audrey appeared all of a sudden. “To the beach, maybe?”

“Sure. That would be fun.” He smiled and left the table unclean. I’ll just have to do it later, he thought. He walked toward the door where Audrey was standing behind the reels. Once he reached her, he gave her a small smile again and as return she smiled as well.

“So far, did you enjoy your stay here?” Audrey opened a question as they reach for the beach. “Don’t you have any complaint? After all, you’ve been doing some of the stuff that I must do,” she said.

“No. Not at all.” That statement made him scratch his head a bit. “I think it’s just normal that I’d been helping you since I’m living up with you. Right?”

Planning to deliver the words that she had to say, she took a deep breath, breath that has always been the firm wall to everyone like her. She bit her lip and afterward looked at his eyes. He’s too nice, she thought. Compare to anyone, all the guys that she’d met, she’d never seen a man like him. Indeed, and somehow practically unbelievable. Is it because he has amnesia? she asked herself.

“But, you know, Ian . . . to be honest, it’s not really my thing to letting anyone, stranger, I mean, stays in my house. Especially men. Because I have experienced a lot about things, and it always seem bad. So, I’m not saying this because I want you to feel anything uncommon and leave my house right away, but I’m saying this because I want you to be aware of who I am. I hope these words won’t have given you way to hate me. Trust me, I’m a good person, and I would never let you feel bad about me.” She smiled, and she didn’t know why it seemed different this way. It’s like, she felt relieved. The baggage of burdens was released out of her body. And now she could say that this case was different from her past.

They continued to walk until she felt the sandy texture of the ground; it was late when she realized that they’re on the beach already. The sea breeze was overwhelming; and in that instant, she could feel the humble opinion of the waves. It wasn’t crowded at this point of time, sometimes, it’s in the mornings, obviously. Since it was a public beach, families and kids prefer to go there with sunlight. But in contrary to their opinion, Audrey would never love to go with sunlight . . . she didn’t know, maybe because she’d never love to have sunburns? She’s never sure . . . but one thing stayed in her mind, she and sunburns would never get along.

She stopped on her position and looked at the sky. She could see the bright moon; and the horizon from afar . . . she could always say that she’d never regret that she chose to live here.

“T-that’s a-all right,” Ian stammered.

She turned her head to him, wondering to what Ian had said. He’d never felt bad at least a little? she asked herself. He’s really unique, she added.

But in Ian’s point of view, he never thought that Audrey felt that way. If he did just know that a little bit sooner, he might have not insisted and tolerated her offer to live in her house. But just like she had mentioned earlier, she wanted him not to feel bad and just trust her. And in that part, he could breathe normal again. He thought he would’ve lost his breath once she speak, but as she explained it deeper and clearer, he knew that she’s just being carefree to what was life giving her. With that matter, he could understand why. But he still wondered why her voice seemed to sound different when she spoke about that. Why? he asked himself. But he assured himself: It’s not the right time to know.

“Sure?” Audrey prompted.

“Yep,” he answered. “I mean, I don’t have the right to complain. I’m the one in need, and I don’t have to be picky to what was God giving me. I should just be thankful. In the first place, it was just as normal as it could be; to how a woman would thought about man. But no hard feelings . . . I’m just saying what I think is right.”

Audrey paused for a moment of silent and spoke again. “Then we’re clear now. No awkward feels or something . . . let’s just be friends.” She lent her hands toward her, wishing for a handshake. For this matter, there’s no such thing that would overcome hospitality. And for her, in this way they could only find their true selves.

Ian smiled and reached for her hand. “Friends.”

It was an electric shock once their hands met. Their eyes met in the midst air, and it was no doubt that their comfortable to each other now. Instead of looking away, they gave smiles and laughs afterward.

“By the way,” she called him out, “as promise, I will help you find your family . . .”—she bit her lip—“so we’re going to the police station tomorrow to report your situation.” She looked at him and she could see the mix of emotions through his eyes; the happiness, excitement . . . and all the wonders that run through his body, it all could be seen with one sight.

“Oh! Thank you!” In enthusiasm, excitement had overcome; he took a step forward and hugged her tight without hesitations. Both of them could feel the warmth, the heat of their bodies overflow through their skins . . . and as every inch brush through each other’s, neither of them could tell how they felt with that moment. Both of their minds were blank, and in that point of time . . . all they could say was, Oh!