Tarzan (Rated R)

Chapter 12 - Anti

Two in the morning, so peaceful how the AC hits the top of my bed, cool air freshener my body, the foam bed I lay in with the purple duvet pairs well with the ocean soundtrack I have playing on my speakers, oh so warm I am, with the comfortable darkness that blankets my room and window, the occasional luminescence of the orange light that seeps through the corners my burgundy curtains.

I can almost hear Justine dreaming next door with the amount of silence that is bestowed upon New York, I could sleep in it for hours.

If I could only catch any.

Once more I groan turning my body to the left and right annoyingly trying to find a spot that can be comfy enough to cease my thoughts. After all this time my heartbeat is still drumming, both upper and lower, I mean that's a good thing, I am not dead, but dang. I don't even need to ask myself where this rush and adrenaline was birthed cause than even, I wouldn't blame the universe if it showed me the hard way.

Streams of questionable debates that run through my mind wondering why it bothers me so much, words that I can never seem to form out of my lips, so much has happened in my life, so much I want to spew into words, I than hear a creak in the room next to me and giggle, Justine must be sleeping good right about now, at the thought of Justine brought back the memory of what happened with Philip in my shop, God what an evil person he is, till this day I wonder what Justine saw in him, I mean he was probably a sweetheart to her and monster to me, I can't blame her for never noticing, he conceals himself well.

Something I have to accept, some people are just born to be spiteful, especially if your spoiled and rich, I can't believe he thought I faked getting attacked by a lion, what I do draw these marks on my skin? Ignorance is bliss.

Man, my life is like a story.

Wait a minute, Story?

I face the white pop corned ceiling with a realization, could this be the drama that publisher wants? A thought than suddenly hit me, and I Sit up to process every detail, from the beginning of the adventure till now, would it be Worthy of a read? A very tiny blinking light caught my attention on top of my vanity, my laptop. With the idea fresh in my mind, I Slowly descend from the bed, here it comes.

The light of the laptop nearly burned my retinas, Jesus it's like staring at the sun, I'd probably scare clowns away from the way I felt my face cringe. All throughout my movements I was still skeptical of writing this, not only for exposing myself, but Justine, surely, she would catch on. But for now, what would I even call this book? With my brows furrowed I scanned above my ceiling finding the first sentence to grab the attention of readers. The thought of Rowan came to me than and I felt myself blushing; face burning my cheeks from the thought of him, I would be writing my own Erotic Novel, a part of that actually had me excited.

With a sigh I stand arching my back forwards, four chapters down, and I still want to write more, wow. Reading back into the paragraphs, I mentally sigh, Justine is definitely going to figure it out. Just as I was reading through what I have so far, a fire ball forms in the bottom of my stomach, oh my, I have no filter, that's how described my p***y?

'Hungry cunt'

The way I described the s*x between me and him, made my jaw drop, although Rowan's name is different in the book some clues would still be obvious. There are so many more chapters that needs to be written, but could Rowan be like the w******d characters? He already has the physic and look and an un normal personality.

With a yawn I was ready to head back to bed until I saw a dim light outside, I hadn't noticed the butt crack of dawn was creeping in, s**t, I had no sleep whatsoever, but I need to head to the shop.

The steaming hot falling water of the shower head brushes my n*****s while I stayed still with my hands against the tile, droplets landing on my skin tickling the nerves, oh my, so hot and steamy it was, something about this shower brought me to a mood, tingling my skin to the point of a thousand goosebumps rising on my arms, chills run down my spine feeling my n*****s erecting painfully, with the current events of course my mind wonders back to a certain individual, thick Veined hands assaulted every nook and cranny of my body that day, lips and tongue in places they shouldn't be, the unmerciful pounding I took from behind that day, how he stretched my arm backwards while he holds me by the elbow, I can still hear the thundering claps of my ass, all of that in the awakening of day.

I mean so far, I achieved one of my w******d fantasy bucket lists unknowingly, and it was with a hunk to so that's a bonus.

I wished to stay here for longer, but a large part of me is excited to get back, just to see him again, I have lacked in my femininity just throwing on anything random with matching shoes, -as long as the shoes matched, that was all I needed.

In this weather wearing a spaghetti strap dress would get me thrown in a mental asylum or videotaped as the weirdest girl ever, a huge fear of mine is ending up on social media doing something crazy or weird without my knowledge, can't have that. Staring at myself in the mirror I could almost make love to myself, oh wait I have, I mean it was because I was thinking of him, but this one would be for just self-appreciation; navy blue jeans to my ankles that cupped my large bum widening my hips, long sleeved white shirt that helped my large nearly sagging breasts paired with a black coat, tight curls released and combed out to the natural fro, gloss, mascara and- hold up I'm doing way too much.

Black converse should be fine, does anyone still wear them anymore? Oh well.

Oh my, the snow got worse, nearly up to my knees, why am I-, oh yup that's right, him.

I nearly busted my ass bone when I almost slipped on the bricked pavement from the ice, I might just close up early today, with the way of this snow and temperature I don't think anyone would show up for flowers. But this was my agenda just to see him, I want to see him again, I want to see those eyes, the ones that looked up at me menacingly, holding down my legs while he licked, flicked and sucked my folds and holes.

Even with the cold my body was hot, I need to move, I need to keep myself busy, upon arrival of my store a part of me squealed inside -- fangirling -- I can't believe he was here, he was so beautiful, enough start moving before the ache becomes too unbearable. Cleaning and watering the plants I mentally prep myself for how I'm going to act when I see him.

Maybe I'll just say hello and keep it moving.

No, too bitchy, the man saved my life.

Maybe I'll just smile and nod.

No, I can't look at him too long without melting.

Maybe I'll just try to start a conversation with him, maybe than it would be easier to be around him.

No, w***e his presence makes you melt, and does he even speak English?

I want to face palm myself, all the options sucked, damn him for making my body submit, how the hell was I going to survive this dinner?

Just as I was in the back, the sound of whistling wind fills the silence and I scream inside, Heartbeat beats at 1,000 kilometers and I can feel myself pooling to ground already.

Showtime.

Nearly flying to the front, "He .... llo" my smile fades, What the hell is he doing here?

"What do you need Cameron?" rolling my eyes to the top of my head walking over to the counter.

Long grey sweatshirt and khakis with a hat on, is this like an old money style or these rich boys have a uniform policy during the winter, I haven't forgotten his jokes on my misery that day, assholes like him never acknowledge the privilege and wrongs, of course he never apologized.

"I came to apologize for that day," he looked at me remorsefully.

I stand corrected, taken back by the apology my stance loosened up, I haven't even realized I crossed my arms.

Lifting a brow in question "Oh, really?"

"Yes" he breathed.

"You can apologize?"

"You act as if my lips can't form the word" I can hear the offended tone.

"I just never thought it was part of your vocabulary." Shrugging my shoulders.

"I deserve that, but yes, it is, and I want you to be the first to hear it."

What's going on here? Why the apology?

"What's going on here? Why the apology?" I say what I was thinking out loud.

"The way I treated you that day wasn't fair, I wasn't aware that it was a trigger to you."

"I mean almost getting murdered by predator cat would be triggering for just about anyone wouldn't it?" How come the universe never punishes other people with stupid questions, what did I do wrong?

"Why are you here" I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did, but after that episode with Philip, I just have to keep my guard up.

Stuffing his hands into his pocket I watch his eyes trace from my face to the rest of my body, keeping them mostly on my breasts. "You came there for me, let me have a re-do ... please".

"What?"

smirking he slowly walks up close to me in front of the counter, cologne burning my nostril hairs "I said, I would like to take you out, since our first one was a bust."

"That was a date?"

"More like a Trial and clearly I am the one that messed up," his eyes trace down to my lips, licking his own, eye contact fierce, it was freaking me out. Arms crossed with elbows on the counter, I can see his big boy muscles, he is beautiful up close, but only Rowan makes my heartbeat.

"Uh-um," I look around the room swallowing thickly "I mean, I don't mind hanging out."

With his orbs on mine he half smirks triumphantly, almost menacingly sexy, what is he up to? " Just so you know this is just food, nothing else, and I prefer it around a crowd of people."

Cocking his head slightly to the right with the smirk plastered on his face "Why don't you want to be alone with me?"

"W-well I-I"

"I mean if we are going to hang out, I think some quality time is better, don't you think? Just me and you all alone, no one to interrupt us." His voice gets a little lower, I can't help how my body seems to be frozen under his stare, almost hypnotizing me.

"I just prefer it that way." snapping out of it, crossing my arms.

Moments of silence go by and he huffs out a smile, "very well, we can meet up at the same place last time, I'll make sure to make it special and worth it this time." Sliding himself off the counter he hits it softly with his palm "Its set than, I will see you tonight."

'Tonight?" I gasped.

"Of course, I will be out on business with my father soon and I would really like to have you tonight."

"Have me" I make my repulsion obvious.

"You are so dirty minded, I meant with dinner tonight, silly" his voice deep and raspy.

Silently acknowledging the statement, I slightly nod.

"Good girl" he breathed; I'll see you tonight at 8." With that he turns, looking back at me while he pushed the door open with his back smirking until he walks out the door.

I remain the same until I hear the door click close, exhaling a deep breath I didn't know I was holding, that was scary. Did I just agree to go on a date with him? that's the longest I have ever held with anyone other than the ones in my inner circle. s**t, my introvert self should start practicing saying no for sport, glaring at the clock and outside I realized than the person I wanted wasn't going to show, maybe it was time to head out.

I can't get the moment out of my mind, so creepy, 80 percent of my body screams not to go, but the other part of me -- the curiosity does not want to be left in the dark, mostly because would I be betraying Rowan? No, how ridiculous to say the least Rowan needs to step up or else I won't wait any longer.

"I love it!"

I squealed taking a step back, gosh this girl and her ambushes, "Justine one of these days you will send me to cardiac arrest, what are you talking about."

"Your new book, it is perfect and sexy." she says grabbing my arm to pull me to the couch.

Oh, that's right!

"Oh, that's right," I say in realization, allowing myself to be pulled onto the couch.

"It is perfect; comedy, humor, relatable and sexy."

"You think so?"

"Yes, I can't wait to read More about the Roman character, to learn more character development from him, he sounds hot, I love the s*x descriptions, I felt bad for the main characters v****a, though." she says though fully looking into space behind me.

just as she says that my p***y reacted, the ghost of Rowan inside me that day rearranging my womb filled my head, I wait until she looks away before fixing myself to clench my thighs.

"Cameron came by the shop today." I say clearing the air.

she turns to me slowly "Did he harass you, I told Philip that if he ever came near you again Id-"

"No, He actually came and apologized for that day and told me to go out with him tonight."

widening her eyes "really, oh gosh, he actually listened to me."

Furrowing my brows, "what do you mean?"

"I told Philip the only way I would forgive him is if you had an apology and I guess he listened to me." I watch how her eyes started dazing with a little smile, she really does love the guy, as much as I don't, I won't take away her happiness, "Yes he did, he came by and apologized and was sincere about it, I very much appreciate it, Thank you Justine."

"You deserve the best Jane, and I mean that."

"You go call your man," I say standing up with her arm hooked around mine.

"Not before we get you ready for tonight". Justine and I are the same height yet, our strength nearly shows just how much the other spends time at the gym, my breath was stolen from the force of being tugged into my room.