Tarzan (Rated R)

Chapter 20 - Reality

My feet tap under the table trying hard not to look at Philip whose eyes just can't seem to look away from me, what the hell. "So, what happened this morning babe you sound kind of muffled." Justine says setting down a plate of breakfast in front of Philip, I almost giggled at her failed attempt to hide her limping but didn't fail to catch another scene in the process, just as she said that sentence Philip's eyes got darker almost waiting for me to prove his theory.

"Oh, sorry uh just a nightmare" I hated lying to Justine, especially when the truth comes out, she will blow my head away.

"That was some nightmare," she giggles sitting down next to me on the table.

Laughing off the awkward "What do you mean?"

"Your glowing love, I can feel pleasure radiating off of you" she eyes me playfully.

I could help the giggle that emerged from me, turning away to not look at her in the eyes as she started laughing, I still felt Rowans ghost fingers inside me, the sensation still has my legs wobbling for dear life. Just as the thought of Rowan came so did curiosity, after kicking him out of the bath earlier when I saw him ready to get in the bath with me.

Yet, when I came out, he was gone, there was not a sign of him anywhere in my room, I only hoped he didn't travel too far, he is under my supervision, or was it the other way around. Right now, my biggest fear is him showing up while Justine or Philip Is around, emphasis on both, my eyes are constantly being diverted across the room discreetly.

Philip and Justine continued the conversation in the background while my eyes were silently looking at every corner of the house, how does he just disappear like this? I didn't even hear the door open or close, where could he have gone, upon looking around my eyes caught sight of the couch, shoot, the blood.

It completely escaped my mind; I was too busy getting fingered. Slowly turning my head back, I was met with Philips eyes once more, he looks at me and the couch before huffing a smirk. "By the way babe, I saw blood on your couch last night".

My breath shortened dangerously once the room got quiet, on instinct Justine's eyes quickly landed on me they trailed down from my breasts to my arms before getting up and headed towards me, "where were you hurt? Do we need to go back to the hospital? They probably missed something". Though in a state of panic her soft hands were trailing all over my body, If I wasn't hurt before I am now, Holy s**t.

Catching her wrists. "Justine I'm ok."

"But he said there was blood and-"

"On the couch babe, last night I'm surprised you didn't notice, it was a trail of blood." Philip says dark and assertively, Justine breaks free from my grip and charged right over to the couch, my heart sank once her eyes scanned all over the place finding the stain. My secret is blown I know Justine would never utter a word to anyone, but I cannot say the same about the man that sits across from me.

It's over, it only lasted a day.

"Where?" Justine's voice laced with an unknown question, and I looked up to see her looking right at Philip.

"Babe, look at the left side" I hear Philip annoyed on the other side, the both of us watch in confusion as Justine digs through the whole couch hair frizzled everywhere while lifting, pulling and stretching everything. "I don't see anything" she doesn't hide the irritation behind her voice. With a growl Philip stands abruptly heading over to the couch, pointing his finger "Right the-".

The room goes silent, Philips words have faltered, and I watch his finger slowly drop, Justine and I watch his brows furrowed with a confused expression searching with his eyes for the stain. What the f**k? Even from where I was sitting, I could already tell where the stain was, my head was on the source last night, a dark chuckle than rang through the silence, Philips dark eyes met mine, he stares at me so deeply I could almost see the real storm brewing within.

Finally blinking away to look at Justine his face softens, "I guess I was wrong, sorry."

Though he does not say to me directly, I can tell it was guided to the subject, for a moment I thought I was being punked, I have lived to see many unbelievable things, but never would I ever hear Philip utter the word apology especially towards me. I say nothing in response still shocked by the gesture but also not to respond to the scene hoping it'll die off.

"Oh yes, babe I forgot to tell you" Justine sultry voice rids of the silence as she strides towards me, "the publisher will need a sample of the book soon, I told her you're having a bit of personal issue at the moment so she will wait until the end of the year love, so you have plenty of time to heal from everything and get back to writing whenever."

"I love you" I say as she wraps her arms around my body when she made it in front of me, she repeats the gesture, soft strands of her midnight hair land on my face tickling my nose in the process allowing me to breath in her strong shampoo, it's not like I couldn't update my stories - Updating any chapters would make me open up a lot on what is going on with my personal life, and with the story still fresh and the media is on a frenzy they are looking for just about anything to make their own story.

Through a tiny gap of Justine's hair, I caught sight of Philips eyes still lingering on the couch in disbelief before shaking his head with a smirk, hands stuffed into his khaki pants, his eyes found mine and a sinister gleam took over, something in those eyes tell me I'd pay for the humiliation.

"Alright, babe we are heading off, please stay home if you are not up to it, you can open the shop when you are better." The sympathy she casts towards me is pure, yet I could not help but feel slightly offended, was this me hiding from the world? Away from Kevin? I survived a mountain lion for crise sakes - well technically Rowan saved me cause my ass was on the ground, but still my inner systems fought hard to function again, I may be living with balls loads of trauma and a new fear of cats but b***h, I can handle it.

"I am going to work today, I can't hide forever," I retort back with a half smiling and half mad expression.

"Everything literally happened 2 days ago, are you sure you want to face the world right now especially since Kevin is roaming the streets again."

"You act as if he doesn't know where I live, what good would it be to hide? I am going to work Justine, I love you, thank you for caring but I got this" her face was shocked at first and I than saw a smile slowly creeping in, eyes widening as if she is soaking in everything, I am saying ... and loving it.

"O-K w***e," like a girl telling her friends gossip, "I love this side of you, first you are glowing, now you are speaking your voice as it should be, who is he?" she whispers mischievously, Philips eyes grew darker as he deadpanned on me from the corner of the room.

Don't you have another person's life to destroy? Jeez.

"I uh - Just bought a new toy."

"Gross." I heard softly on the other end and finally he turned his head boringly.

Should have said that from the beginning.

"Hmmm," Justine makes it obvious she doesn't buy my answer and turns towards Philip and back before she comes to some sort of acknowledgment "Oh, alright babe I will see you tonight, have fun with your ... toy." She winks and in her hooters outfit she heads towards her boyfriend, her struts have gotten fiercer and firmer, and her butt grew, Philip really was doing his job, or she has an indoor gym in her room.

I watch the couple as they begin heading out to the door, "I love you" Justine says for the last time.

"I love y- "I didn't even get to finish my sentence before Philip slammed the door behind him.

I hear her lecture him on respecting me until the footsteps receded, blowing out a hard breath I once more looked around the home once more, nothing in sight, I peered through every room in house, no sign of Rowan. Simply where did he go?

Putting on my last pair of shoes I headed for the door, in a double take my eyes found the couch, It couldn't be ... could it? I thought the two were just playing around, the stain really is gone - from where my head lied to the edge of the seat until the trail, spotless. Did I imagine it? No Philip saw it to, could Rowan have ... in the middle of the night cleaned it? But with what? And was awake all night long.

The answers just didn't make sense in my mind but I'm grateful cause now I didn't have to explain myself, it bought me sometime. With another breath I made up my mind, I'm going to work.

Paranoia hits me at every corner of town, it feels as though everyone that passes me stare for way to long than they need to, I've always wanted this happen to me but damn in a good way. I'm welcomed by the smell of trees and nature upon stepping into my shop, it always put me in the best of mood being surrounded by all my flowers.

My ass should have stayed home, today was so slow I managed to clean at least three times and prep for next months salary, a few customers have come by but it feels as though they stare at me too I'm probably just imagining things. With the extra free time I've got let's go ahead and at least try updating my new story, I was taken back how well it was going, just about dozens of notifications of likes and votes, Holy s**t.

I wouldn't call it writers block but this was definitely me holding back, With what happened this morning between me and Rowan, who has completely gone a wall. My fingers tap away not even knowing what I'm writing any more and yet decided to publish it anyways. My mind plagued with Rowan, conjuring up all the awful things that spew within, I'm sure he can take care of himself but I would never forgive myself if anything were to happen, I'm sure his grandmother too.

With the evening approaching I lost all feeling, nothing happened today - I just lived like normal, could Kevin have let it go? Even I chuckled at that statement, I need to defend myself somehow or at least take boxing lessons for protection. Locking up my store I headed on home not bothering to look at anyone even though I can feel their stares and giggle.

A part of me prays Rowan is at the house, at least if I see him I'll be good again.

"I don't like it" Justine's sultry voice slaps me back to reality, when the hell did I make it home?

"Wh-what?" My voice raspy and low coming back from the mere shock.

"I don't like it" she repeated.

Slowly tracing my eyes to the left "what?"

"The chapter" she exclaimed grabbing my biceps to bring me on the couch, the thought of the blood stains make me uneasy. Hold up did she say my chapter?

Justine is a fan of all my work, her saying she doesn't like a chapter clearly means I wasn't in the right place of mind and most likely wrote some Bullshit, Oh boy.

"Wha-what do you mean, let me see?" My jaw drops to the floor, I actually did it, in words I spoke of the situation that happened between The main character and discharge Kevin, except his name is kelvin, as if that wasn't obvious enough, for f**k sakes could I just double check my work before letting people read this? I actually typed this up and pressed publish? Not only I went into detail of the event but I ended up writing about me and 'Roman' but no details like my readers like it, completely smut less.

Was this a novel or a diary?

Real question is ... has Justine figured it out?

"Wh-what d-don't you like about it?" Playing dumb has managed to get me out of situations, I could only help it managed to get me out of this one.

"I mean honey for starters, I'm not feeling the energy from this chapter at all, it like you wrote it because you had nothing better to do"

Was she watching me?

"I wanted to know how you felt having that Roman guy save you, and what happened after words"

He fingers the f**k out of me in the hospital

"He had was he hurt when he got stabbed"

Motherfucker I wrote that too?

"Let me feel this chapter babe and so far I felt nothing" with her hair braided down in two corn rows her face of assertion adds on so much more intensity, has she gotten more tan? Oh wait no focus.

"I- I"

"I know it has been tough for you these past couple of days but there is success waiting for you by the end of this and I want you to get there." Her words so sincere as she placed a hand gently on my wrist, I couldn't help but smile, even after all of this she was still my number one support system and she was one of the many I couldn't let down.

"Your right, I'm sorry today was just weird but it's -"

"New York" we say simultaneously roaring into laughter.

"Now go get changed babe and come back"

"Oh is it movie night?"

Justine sneered at me sinisterly before giggle "let's just say love, this will be worth the watch".