Hate to Love

4

Julian

I was pissed now. She was my mate… I knew it of course since I was older but it still hurt to see her act like that even if I kind of expected it. My thoughts were going wild and I felt at a loss, which made my wolf restless. I needed to run but the only direction I wanted to run to was towards her. s**t. That was even harder to control now that she knew too, her scent was even stronger than before. This was bad.

"This is… Good." Jasper said. "I would have never thought that my two best wolves would be mated. I will need to find a new Gamma again…"

"This is no joke." I frowned at my friend. "That will never work."

"I think it’s time for you to be honest, Jul." He said, looking straight into my eyes.

"She’s not ready for the truth." I countered, shaking my head.

"She is." He declared. "The only one not ready is you."

I did not know what to say to that. Maybe he was right. I was hiding it for so long from her that I did not even know how to act around her anymore. She was my mate. I just needed to lean into it right? As if that would be enough for all that I did to her since she lost her brother. I was too f*****g scared that she would break again. I did not even know if she could take that much pain.

"Let’s go back to the party." I said.

"Yeah yeah…" Jasper sighed.

I walked outside to find most of our young pack members drinking and chatting about normal matters and especially whom Alice would be mated to. It was a normal topic when a wolf reached the age of 18. Sometimes wolves would leave the pack to search for their mates but she would not need to. She was mine. Damn it.

I grabbed something to drink and started drinking with Jasper who was already chatting with young girls. He was always a natural with girls while I preferred to stay away. They were too much trouble and I only needed my mate anyway. I glanced at Alice who was chatting with her best friend Veronica and I nervously put my hand through my hair. I should not be that affected but here I was. My wolf was restless, he wanted us to go to her. There was no way though. She would reject us again and she had the right to. That just annoyed me more.

The air was still hot outside even though the sun had set a while ago. The party was booming and some wolves were starting to get tipsy. One of the warriors, Peter, moved to Veronica and Alice and started yelling.

"Alice! Congrats again! You look gorgeous! Don’t worry, if you don’t find your mate, I’ll be more than happy to be your chosen." He said, wiggling his brows suggestively.

"That’s nice of you Peter but it’s not necessary." She said uncomfortable.

"Let me show you how much I can be a nice mate." He grinned.

I reacted without thinking. I put myself between Alice and Peter, scowling at him. He laughed upon seeing me there. He would stop in a second. I was his Beta after all and he was far from being dominant enough to take me in a fight, I would crush him.

"Beta Julian! What’s gotten into you?" He chuckled.

"You’re making her uncomfortable so let her be." I said without growling. That was nice, point for me.

"What does it matter to you?" He asked, sobbering up right away.

"Is that a challenge Peter?" I asked, looking him straight in his eyes.

Everyone stood still around us. They knew what I was capable of. Yes, I was not the Gamma so I did not train every day to fight but I did know how to fight and I was not bad at it. I trained with our Alpha after all.

Alice clicked her tongue behind me. I would not break eye contact with Peter to look at her though. I had to hold his gaze until he lowered his or that meant I recognised him as more dominant than me. No way in Hell. He finally lowered his gaze and I was about to go in his face when Alice sighed.

"Leave him be, Julian. He didn’t mean any harm." She said.

Her voice was getting to me and that made me even more furious. Peter chuckled and backed off nonetheless still looking down. I was radiating rage at this point but I turned around and plunged my eyes into her blue ones. She looked pissed as well but that was always the case when she was looking at me. I clenched my fists and braced myself for what she had to say.

I knew that she would not stay quiet, I knew her too well. She could say whatever she wanted but I was probably the one who knew her best in the pack. We spent too much time together as pups. I knew that I would not like one word she would utter but I would hear it. I bore with it since she lost her brother.

I deserved those words too. I knew that what I said to her then was horrible but we both needed to hear them. Since then, I've heard every insult, every critic but I never let her ignore me. That would have been too unbearable for my wolf. She was our mate. Ignorance was the worst that I could have let happen to us. I much preferred her open hatred.

I would take it for a little longer. I needed now to walk the path of redemption. Maybe Jasper was right. Maybe it started with me being honest about what happened. I hoped that she would be able to understand and forgive me. I just hoped that I did not break us permanently.