Hate to Love

6

Julian

I had done it now but I seriously saw no other way out. I needed to let off some steam now so I went home, stripped and turned into my tawny wolf. I ran and ran but I was still pissed as hell. I was running without thinking and I ended up near her house again. I could see her talk to Jasper and she was pissed as well.

"You two are just too stubborn." He said as they exited her house. "Just talk to him for Goddess’ sake."

"I have nothing to say to him and he knows it. He said it all two years ago. I don’t even understand why he’s not rejecting me." She said.

"I think he still has things to say, Alice." He countered.

"As if. I'll kick his ass tomorrow, that is long due now." She growled.

Jasper sighed but I could not help a chuckle. That was so much like her. She was probably right in saying that she could kick my ass. She was the fighter after all and her wolf was strong.

I returned home and I felt less pissed about it all. I had things to say for sure and they were complicated. I did not know if I would be able to say it all but being somewhere where she felt comfortable would help.

I woke up sighing, thinking about us fighting. Even if I did not like the idea, I knew it was unavoidable.

I put on some gym clothes and went straight from the house to the arena. She was already there, stretching on the mat. Damn, she was gorgeous. It was even harder to not notice it now. She turned her blue eyes to me and I could only see hatred, as usual.

I stretched as well and faced her on the mat. Of course, she lurched herself at me but she did it smartly. She stayed flat so I would have almost no way to grab her and kicked my legs. She knew how to fight and I ended up on the floor. She pinned me to the floor and lifted her fist, ready to strike.

"Why don’t you reject me? After you said, I was so unlovable that my brother left, that he left because of me." She snapped.

"Alice…" I growled.

"Do you enjoy seeing me hurt?" She asked, her voice breaking.

I flipped her around and pinned her to the ground. She was still glaring at me but she was not fighting anymore.

"Of course not, never." I frowned. "Let me talk. I said those words it’s true, because I wanted you to have a reason to live. You were a ghost when your brother left. I knew that rage was the answer because it worked for me and it did the same for you. I hoped that by you hating me, you would pick yourself up, find a reason to live."

I never thought that I would be able to say those words but she seemed even more shocked than I was. I felt a weight lift over my heart, the truth truly relieved me.

"But… Why?" She asked confused.

"You were in love with Jasper so I couldn’t let him take that away from you as well, it was better if it was me. Jasper didn’t agree at first but then he saw you get better and never questioned it again." I explained. "I lost my best friend that day. I was heartbroken but I knew you had it worst. I wanted to help you that’s all."

She was shocked, I could see it and I even understood. I was wrecking her entire world again. That was so selfish of me but Jasper was right, we were mates. I would regret it my whole life if I never told her the truth.

She started crying, heavily. It was painful to hear, even more so because I knew that she was my mate so I lifted her and held her against me. I let her cry all she needed. I could barely hold my own tears because it hurt like hell to see her in pain, to know that I was the cause of it once again.

"You knew. All along, you knew..." She said between sobs.

"You know that males notice these things quicker than females." I said, trying to keep my voice even.

"That’s because you’re older than me." She said.

I laughed dryly. She was right. I was old enough to know already that she was my mate. I had known for a while.

"I was barely at that age when your brother left. I did it because you were his sister and I felt like I had to look out for you." I said.

"That was stupid." She snorted. "Look at us now. I can’t trust you or even look at you without feeling this… Burning rage. Now that I know it was all misplaced, I can’t help but be heartbroken. Stupid mate bond... If we weren’t mates, you would have never said anything?"

"Probably." I nodded. "I want to be honest with you now and I won’t do anything like this again."

"You better not." She said, shaking her head. "You should have just let me cope with it."

"You were a mess, Alice." I countered.

"I know but it would have passed and now I have to start all over." She sighed.

"Come live with me." I said before I was able to catch the words.

"What?" She asked confused.

"Come live with me." I repeated. "We are mates and I want you to see that you can trust me."

She sighed and seemed even more confused. I could understand, that was so sudden but I knew that if she could find it in herself to really try, she would see that I did it all for her.

"Fine." She said finally. "But don't think that I will forgive you easily."

"I wouldn't expect you to either." I said relieved. "Come on. Let's go home so you can take a shower then we’ll move your things."

She nodded and we both left the arena together. Once we were home, I showed her to the bathroom and handed her a towel as well as clothes to dress up after.

I left her alone, thinking that it was nice to have her here, even after all the drama. I heard the bell ring so I went to open the door frowning. I truly did not want to be bothered right now. I opened the door to find Veronica behind it. Figures.

"What?" I asked.

"I came to see you, Gamma Julian." She said with a small smile.

I waited for her to elaborate. What did she want? I had an idea but I wanted her to say it aloud. She was Alice's best friend after all.

"Reject Alice please." She said.

I knew it would be about that. She was trying to protect her friend.

"We sorted things out so you don’t need to say that. She will be living with me so we can try to move on." I said.

"No." She said, shaking her head. "I meant that I love you Gamma and I want to be your mate."

That was unexpected. What? She had some guts to do that to her own friend. I should have never left her side.

"But Alice is and I won’t reject her." I frowned.

"She loves Jasper anyway." She said, rolling her eyes. "So I don't see the harm."

"I know that." I said through gritted teeth. I did not like it but I knew even if she used to love me when we were kids. "But she's my mate and we're going to make it work. As I said, she agreed to move in with me."

"But… I love you." She repeated confused.

"Listen to me." I growled, pissed now. "I love Alice and she is my mate. What you are doing right now, is going to hurt her so don’t ever say anything like this again and never show your face to my house or I'll make you regret it."

She swallowed hard and I saw tears in her eyes but I felt nothing. She turned on her heels and ran away. I sighed before ruffling my hair with my hand nervously. I hated that. I heard the shower turn off and I braced myself. I would need to tell Alice what just happened since I decided to be honest with her. Why was her life so damn complicated?