Hate to Love

11

Alice

Julian was kissing me. I was so stunned that I could not move. He was actually a good kisser, the best. He was holding me so gently and yet so strongly to him. I had never felt so much love in my entire life. I almost wanted to give in to the feeling but I could not help the flashback that came with this feeling.

It was a week or two after Charles' disappearance. We had been looking for him everywhere, I was but a zombie that only stood up to look for my brother. I could see that everyone around me was pitying me and I just felt numb. It had been like a part of me had been ripped off me and there was nothing I could do about it.

Julian had taken my hand when I had grazed it on every branches in the forest. It was bleeding so he brought me back to my house to treat the wound. I could see that he was furious but he had been like that since we told him about my brother so I was not surprised.

He mended my wound and lifted his blue eyes on mine. There was nothing but rage in them until it slowly morphed to loathing. That did not even bother me at the time because nothing seemed to affect me.

"How dare you..." He said his voice low. "How dare you act like you care when you're the one responsible."

I managed through the haze of my grief to find meaning in his words. Was he accusing me of anything? I was shocked. I always loved Julian, deeply. I loved him so much that I hoped to find out that he was my mate because there was no one else for me. He was my one and I was sure of it.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Charles left because of you." He spat. "Look at you. You're useless, a dead weight. No one would love someone like you. He left because he couldn't bear to have a sister such as you."

The tears started to run down my face once again. I saw something waver in Julian's eyes but it was soon gone that I even wondered if it had been there in the first place. He stood up and left me in the bathroom.

I cried the entire day and when I was done, I decided that I would never let another man see me cry. I was done with this and I would prove them all wrong. I would show them what I was made of. They could all go to Hell. That was when the rage first settled inside of me and that my relationship with Julian went downhill.

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as he was kissing me now. He stopped immediately and pulled me into his chest. He seemed to be confused about what to do now, so was I to be honest. I loved being kissed by him but we just had too much history for me to be forgiving him so soon. Two days would never erase the two years of suffering.

"I'm sorry..." I said my voice unsteady because of the tears.

"Take your time." He said his voice soothing as if he was talking to a child.

That was so rare that it made the tears stop. Julian was rarely nice to anyone and I was touched that he really tried with me. I could not deny that he really wanted to show me that he would be here for me. I wanted to believe him truly.

"I'll find him." He said finally.

I gasped before I lifted my eyes to look into his. I could see his determination and nothing could stop him once he got in that mood. I did not need to ask whom he was talking about because I knew already. Julian was ready to do anything to ease the hole in my heart.

"But... I don't think that he wants to be found." I said.

"It doesn't matter." Julian said, shaking his head. "You want proof that I'm ready to do anything for you, well, I'll find Charles for you. When I do, I'm going to punch him hard in the face."

I could not help a chuckle. That was so much like Julian to say something like that. He was stubborn enough to do it.

"I'll take the second swing then. He had no right to leave without saying a word." I said, smiling at him.

"If he can still stand up after mine." He smirked. "If that's what it takes for you to forgive me, then I promise you that I'll find him."

I felt a bit of shame to hear him say that. I truly wanted to move on and not think about my brother anymore. All my problems came from him. Julian would have never pushed me away and said those words if Charles never left. Would I be able one day to put this all behind me? Julian seemed to be ready. I needed to do the same.

"I believe you." I said.

He looked surprised for a second then he nodded. It had been a while since he heard those words from me. I did not even remember the last time I showed him how much I trusted him. All the bad memories had just washed away the good ones.

Had it been hard for him to always be mean to me? He told me that he wanted me as his mate and that he did it all for me, so I would have a reason to keep going. I realised now that it was true. Could I trust him entirely though?

I did not really trust him when Veronica talked to me. I should have known better. After all, she was my best friend and I knew well what she was capable of. I had seen her do worse than lie. I felt ashamed that I believed her over him so I hugged him tight. I would trust him more from now on.

It was so easy in the past so I could just allow myself to reverse to these days. That would also help us get closer. We both needed to make efforts and meet halfway if we wanted it to work, easier said than done.