Hate to Love

17

Alice

I knew that we would not be able to keep this from Jasper any longer. Julian was leaving me the choice to say what I wanted about this and I would not lie to our friend but I appreciated that he was giving me the choice.

"We thought that it would be best for the both of us, if we found Charles. He's the reason why my life is a mess and why I can't have a normal relationship with my mate so, finding him will put an end to all this." I explained, locking gaze with my friend.

"Are you sure?" Jasper asked, arching a brow. "Won't that just make things worse? We were all heartbroken when Charles left but... It was his decision and it's nobody's fault. I'm glad that the two of you are working on a common goal, it might truly help your mate bond but, I'm afraid you're chasing shadows."

"You don't think that we can find him?" Julian frowned.

"I think that we would have found him already if he wanted to be found." Jasper said. "He's hiding and I believe in my friend. If he needed to go, then he had a good reason to do so. He'll come back when he's done."

"He might need help too." I said. "Maybe he can't contact us now that he's a rogue and maybe what he's doing is just too big. You know Charles, sometimes he just doesn't think everything through."

"Why don't you have faith in him?" Jasper asked. "If he needs anything, I'm sure that he'll reach out."

I wanted to yell at him for being so calm about all this. What was wrong with him? He knew how much his loss had hurt all of us. Julian stopped me though by standing up.

"What are you so afraid of Jasper?" He asked.

"If he's messing with the Royal Guards, I can't let my Betas get involved. It could be seen as treason to the crown. That's probably the reason why Charles went rogue, so it wouldn't hurt the Pack." Jasper answered.

I was shocked. He might be right. What if what Charles was trying to do could put us all in danger? That did sound like Charles to leave everything behind to do what he thought was necessary. I just wished he would have told me because I was so confused now, it hurt.

"You two need to sleep on it." Jasper sighed. "We all need to. After what I heard tonight, I'm sure that if Charles needs anything, he'll reach out. In the meantime, I know that you want to have him back, we all do, but you have to promise me to not get involved."

He was probably right and I knew that he did not mean to hurt me but, I was still sad that he would not support us. I always thought that he would be the first to go look for Charles but it seemed that the Pack came first. I agreed of course but my heart was torn.

"Come on, Alice." Julian said softly, pulling me out of my thoughts. "We definitely need some sleep."

I nodded because my throat was too tight to answer anything. Julian seemed to pick up on it because he wrapped an arm around my shoulders for comfort.

We walked back to Julian's house and I said that I would take a shower. He nodded and went to the kitchen while I continued to his bedroom. Was he as upset as I was that Jasper had forbidden us to continue looking for Charles? Probably, it seemed to make him happy to be able to look for my brother with me.

I stripped in the bathroom and entered the shower. The hot water helped to take some of the tension of the day away. Where did we go from now? What was the right thing to do? Should I give up on looking for Charles? I just had this gut feeling that he needed me. He needed to be found or was it just my wishful thinking? I did not know. Maybe sleeping truly would help.

I exited the shower, dried myself and put on my pajamas. When I exited the bathroom, Julian was not in the bedroom. Was he still in the kitchen?

I walked slowly back to the kitchen and I saw him, drinking beer while facing the counter. He looked as lost as I felt and that made me want to get closer. I wanted to comfort him. I did not know if it was my wolf pushing to her mate or if it was just me but, I could not stop.

I walked to him and embraced him from behind, leaning my forehead on his back. He seemed surprised at first but he soon leaned into my embrace.

"I'm sorry." He said his voice hoarse. "I feel like I failed you again."

I was surprised that he would say that because it was the opposite I felt. He had given me hope again, hope that my brother was alive somewhere, that he could be found.

"It's not your fault." I said softly. "Thanks to you, I know that he's alive and even where he might be. This is... A lot more than I ever imagined. I won't lie and say that I'm not disappointed, I wished that we could have found him together."

He turned around in my embrace and held me tight to him. My head was pressed directly on his chest and I could hear his heart beating frantically. That made me blush hard but I buried my face in his chest to hide it.

"Let's not stop here." He said. "We can still make sure that he's ok without disobeying Jasper."

I shot my head up to look into his blue eyes and he was serious. I did not know what to think but I felt myself break into a smile. I did not want to stop, not when we were so close and it seemed that Julian agreed with me.

"How?" I asked.

"I have an idea but, I'll tell you in the morning. We both need to rest." He said.

"You can't leave me hanging, I won't be able to sleep." I pouted.

"I promise that I'll tell you everything after a good night's sleep." He said amused.

His smile was so breath-taking right now that I could not help myself, I placated my body to his, went on tiptoes and kissed him.