Dear Attorney

Dear Attorney Part II

Few days after the fight, I was in my bed taking a nap after doing my last homework for the week when suddenly, my father came into my room. I didn't realize he was in with me until I felt him pressing down on me. 

"Hush", he said as he began fondling me. 

I can still remember the smell of alcohol from his breath when he started kissing me. I began to cry and whimper when he tried to remove my shorts and my underwear.

I recall attempting to break free from his grip, but I was too weak. He pressed my face into the bed pillow and r***d me.

He left after a while, and I remained silent, crying and thinking about what had happened. It was excruciatingly painful, and all I could do was cry under my blanket, terrified that he'd return. That night, I couldn't sleep well, wishing that everything was a nightmare. 

Even though I was in pain, I decided to go to the bathroom early in the morning after I woke up. I discovered blood on my nightgown and legs, which were already dry. I washed them off and put on some underwear, then changed my nightgown. I slowly crawled back into my bed and tried to sleep to regain my strength. 

My sleep was disrupted when I heard my mother knocking at my door. She smiled as I told her to come in. 

While gathering my courage to tell her what had happened, I gave her a weak smile. She sat on my bed and patted my head, wishing me a good morning. She was about to walk away when I grabbed her arm and pulled her back. While telling her what my father had done, I began to cry. I expected her to be furious, but she surprised me with what she did. She hugged me and smiled. I stopped crying as soon as she said something because those words shattered my entire being in an instant.

Her words were still vivid. "Shhh, sweetheart, it was nothing out of the ordinary", she said.

"Your body was made for men."

I feel terrible. It was as if I had been thrown into an infinite void with no one to help me. I was so terrified that I couldn't leave my room for the entire day, and my parents didn't seem to mind.

It was Sunday morning when I decided to go out. Feeling my empty stomach, I roamed my eyes searching for my parents as I headed towards the dining room. I saw them eating at the table. I gently sat at my usual spot and silently ate my breakfast. The silence was interrupted when my mother called me. 

"Visitors were on their way, so get ready," she said. 

After the meal, I went straight to my room and started getting ready. I started thinking about what had happened while I was in the bathroom. Should I call the authorities? But they were my parents. Where would I go if I were to leave? All I know is that my father made a mistake. 

"I'll forgive him. Maybe he was just drunk," I told myself, ignoring the tiny little voice in my head telling me that r**e isn't a simple mistake.

My father r***d me, and he had other men r**e and assault me several times in exchange for money. Yes, they were the visitors my parents were expecting. I was so terrified, my parents threatened to kill me if I didn't keep quiet. My parents' actions have left me with a lot of unanswered questions about how they allowed this to happen. 

My father is a pastor. How could he r**e his very own daughter? What happened to my mom, who is known for being a caring mother? When I saw the tiny packets of salt-like substance near their drawer while cleaning, my questions were finally answered.

I was a normal person at school, behaving as if nothing was wrong. I had to hide my bruises with a concealer at times so they wouldn't know what I'd been through. I was relieved that my best friend, Wakim, isn't as perceptive. I don't want him to get involved because I'm afraid my parents will hurt him.

I wanted to be free, and I had made numerous attempts to do so, but they would always find out and punish me. Every month, a couple of visitors, 2 or 3, would arrive, and the usual would occur. 

I got used to it, but I'll never get used to losing someone who hasn't even been born yet. I got pregnant twice, but they forced me to abort it when they found out. I felt dirty and depressed, and I had no idea what to do. 

My world seemed to have slowed down for me. I can feel myself drowning in the void of darkness. It's been eight months, and I'm still grieving the loss of my unborn child.