Ruin Me Gently

Chapter Three

Scarlet POV

I'm ready. I've put on the lingerie and the dress, and I'm ready. I'm also not. Everyone is laughing and having fun. Jacob is here talking to some guys and me. I'm sitting here nervous as hell.

"Are you ready?" Zain plonks himself down next to me.

I’m not at all. Maybe this isn’t right, I feel like I shouldn’t do this. The laughter and music swirling around us feel a hundred miles away from the knot tightening in my stomach. I force myself to look at him, hoping maybe if I just say it aloud, it’ll make sense somehow.

“I don’t know,” I admit, my voice low so no one else hears. “I just... it feels wrong. I thought I was ready, but now, I don’t know. Maybe tonight isn’t the night.”

Zain watches me, his expression softening from playful to serious. He shifts closer, nudging my shoulder gently with his own.

“You’ve been with Jacob for months,” he says, keeping his voice easy and steady. “This isn’t some one-night-stand, Scar. You’ve built something with him. You’ve waited, thought about it, and you picked him for a reason.”

I drop my gaze, staring at the floor as my fingers toy with the hem of my dress. The fabric feels like it’s burning under my fingertips, a constant reminder of the plan I’m suddenly unsure about.

“I know,” I mumble. “But what if I’m just pushing myself into it because I said I would?”

Zain leans in a little closer, lowering his voice even more.

“Scar, you’re not pushing yourself. You’ve thought about this for weeks. You told me yourself you wanted it to be someone you trusted. Someone you cared about. Jacob’s safe. He’s yours. You don’t owe anybody anything tonight, not even yourself, but you also don’t have to run just because you’re scared.”

I breathe out slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. Zain has always been the one person who sees through the mess in my head and knows how to talk me down from the ledge.

He smiles, soft and encouraging. “You deserve to have this your way. No shame. No pressure. If you want to do it, do it because you choose to, not because you’re scared of backing out.”

I nod slowly, my heart still pounding, but the panic easing just enough for me to lift my head.

“Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll do it.”

Zain beams at me, giving my hand a quick squeeze before pushing himself off the couch.

“That’s my girl. Now sit tight. I’m going to find Liam before he eats every cupcake in the house and blames me.”

He ruffles my hair playfully before disappearing into the crowd, weaving between clusters of people with his usual chaotic energy. I watch him find Liam near the drinks table, the two of them slipping naturally into their own little world of jokes and laughter, like they’ve forgotten about everything else.

I sit alone, the buzz of conversation swirling around me, and suddenly the weight crashes back down onto my chest. The nerves I thought I’d conquered rise up again, worse than before. My palms grow clammy, my throat tight. I tug at the hem of my dress again, feeling suffocated in the clothes that only an hour ago made me feel powerful.

What am I doing?

It doesn’t feel right. It didn’t feel right earlier, and it sure as hell doesn’t feel right now. Every instinct in me is screaming to slow down, to wait, to not rush into something just because everyone expects me to.

I can’t do this.

Not tonight. Not like this. I push myself off the couch, barely registering the music or the people brushing past me. My heart is hammering so loud it drowns out the rest of the world. I don’t know where Jacob is, but maybe if I find him, maybe if I just see him, it’ll help. Maybe he’ll ground me the way I’m supposed to feel grounded.

I slip out of the crowded main room, into the quieter hallway beyond. The walls are lined with framed photos and little side tables stacked with old magazines. It feels calmer here, distant from the noise and the heat of the party. I head toward the back of the apartment, the soft padding of my heels the only sound I hear.

I search for him, hoping that maybe one look at Jacob will be enough to push down the voice screaming inside my head that tonight isn’t supposed to happen.

Maybe I just need to see him, and that will fix this.

I move further down the hallway, my heart thudding against my ribs, the faint sounds of the party growing dimmer behind me. The apartment feels too big suddenly, the shadows stretching out longer than they should.

A door is half open near the end of the hall, soft light spilling through the crack. I hesitate for a second, then walk toward it, telling myself this is stupid, that Jacob probably just stepped away to get a drink, or maybe he’s on a call. Something harmless. Something innocent.

When I reach the doorway and push it open wider, my whole body locks up.

Jacob is there but he's not alone. A woman, someone I don’t even recognize, is pressed up against him, her hands tangled in his hair, his arms low on her waist. Their faces are too close, his mouth grazing her neck, his body angled into hers like he’s done it a thousand times before.

For a second, I can’t move and I can’t breathe. The shock burns away, replaced by a fury so sudden and wild I feel it all the way to my fingertips.

“What the hell?!” The words tear out of me, sharp and ragged.

They jump apart like they’ve been caught by a spotlight, Jacob’s head snapping up, his eyes wide, his mouth dropping open like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

I stumble back, a harsh, broken sound ripping from my throat. I don’t wait for explanations. I don’t wait for lies. I spin on my heel and bolt down the hall, shoving past the confusion, the betrayal, the way my vision blurs with the force of it.

“Scarlet!” Jacob’s voice crashes into the hallway after me. “Scarlet, wait! It’s not what you think!”

I don’t slow down. My hands fumble with the doorknob to my bedroom, adrenaline making me clumsy. I wrench it open, heart slamming against my chest.

“Scarlet!” he shouts again, closer now, his footsteps pounding after me.

“Stay away from me!” I scream, the words raw and ripping from deep inside me.

I slam the door with every ounce of strength I have, the sound echoing through the apartment like a gunshot. I throw the lock before he can try the handle, pressing my back to the door, chest heaving.

On the other side, I hear him curse under his breath, hear the soft thud of his hand against the wood.

“Scarlet,” he says again, quieter this time, pleading.

I squeeze my eyes shut, shaking my head even though he can’t see it. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want his excuses. His apologies. His lies.

Not tonight. Not ever again.

I slide down the door until I’m sitting on the floor, pulling my knees tight to my chest. The satin of my dress bunches awkwardly under me, the lingerie beneath feeling suddenly stupid, useless, a costume for a night that will never happen.

Everything feels like it’s unraveling. Everything I thought I was ready for is gone in an instant.

For the first time all night, one thing feels completely, painfully clear. I’m done. I can't do this, I was so close to giving in to him, and I find him like that?