Just Good Friends?

Chapter 13 - Admitting feelings

Mike

Music class... why the hell do I need to take music class!? I can play the guitar and drums better than any rock band out there. But I get to hear Bex sing and play whichever instrument she feels like that day. She is amazing, just like she is at everything she tries.

"So Bex, Athletics is over now yes"? Mr Goss looks over at us, and hands over some papers.

"Yes sir, what's this?" She's looking down at the papers in her hand. They seem to be some kind of play script.

"Thats a play that the school is putting on. Interested? It's a modern day love story. Boy meets girl, they become friends, popular, fall in love, happily ever after" He's looking pointedly at the pair of us, and I can't help but stare dumbly at him. What the hell? Why the f**k would Bex want to do f*****g drama!? And why the hell is this dude looking at me too!?

"Sounds like it's written about Bex and Mike sir" Joe sauters in, he must have heard the teacher from outside.

"d**k" I shake my head and grab a guitar and start strumming.

"Uh, no. I'm not interested thanks" Bex looks mortified and I can't help but laugh.

"I was thinking of both of you Mike, you'd be great as the leads I think" Mr Goss is looking at me like he's given up.

"Nah, don't think so sir. Not really our thing you know" is this guy for real!? He shakes his head and goes back to the front of the class and sits behind his desk.

"What the hell was all that about" Joe is laughing as he grabs his drum sticks from the drawer and heads to the drum kit.

Bex grabs a bass and starts strumming along to Joe on drums, so I join in. She starts to sing in her gorgeous husky voice and I watch as she loses herself in the music.

When we finish, Joe coughs and I look over at him. He's looking at me with a smirk on his face. He's caught me staring at Bex. Again. s**t.

....

"Don't forget the assignment that is due Mike" my English teacher says as I leave the classroom. I don't answer her, just walk out of the door quickly. Bex wasn't in class today, she was helping out with some sport comp. I've been thinking of her all morning. Music was hell, just having her so close was torture. Someone flings an arm over my shoulder, and I'm ready to punch them. I'm not in the mood for taking any crap.

"When are you going to confess your undying love to my sister then dude"? Joe gets me in a head lock but I punch him in the stomach and he let's go, but he's smirking at me.

"f**k off Joe, I'm not in the mood for your s**t ok. And who the f**k says I'm in love with Bex anyway?" christ what is the matter with me.

"Dude, I guessed when we came out of the police station before you went to live with your dad. You were scared shitless that you could of ended up living without her, and I know that would of killed you. I knew right then, my sister is the one for you. You've got to tell her. You're moping around the place like a wet rag. People are starting to notice, and we have a rep to hold up... or rather I have a rep and you're making me look bad" he walks by the side of me giving his killer smile to all the girls practically wetting themselves as we walk past them.

"And what happens when she knocks me back Joe? We're heading to UoA, there's no escaping. I can't tell her"

"p***y, that's what you are. Dude, tell her. If you don't, I will. And what the hell are you going to look like then if you've got to get your mate to tell the girl your in love with, your feelings for her" he shakes his head and pushes through the canteen doors.

I look around and think about how strange school is. Everyone is in their groups. Cheerleaders and jocks on one table - bitches and d***s really. Then there's our table with the bad boys and chick's- that's what other people call us, even though we all excel in all kinds of school activities and subjects. Then there's the geeks, or brain boxes, and the quiet ones that don't get involved with anything. We get along with everyone. People like us. We don't take any s**t off anyone, people are scared of crossing us, but we're popular. I don't really know why. I head to the counter and grab some pasta. I look over to Bex to see what she has, and notice she just has a banana infront of her, so I double up on everything I put on my tray. She loves her food, but she does forget to eat sometimes, and she hates queuing so probably couldn't be bothered to wait in line for food. I pay the lady, who's looking at me like a piece of meat, then head over to the table.

"Here, eat" I put the food infront of Bex, and she looks up and smiles. Donovan, one of the guys on the team that is sitting next to her, moves over instinctively to let me sit next to Bex. I'm not sure why anyone does that, but everyone moves for us when we arrive anywhere, so that we always get to sit together. It's strange really but it's always happened, even when one of us is seeing someone else.

"You OK? Thanks for food, I couldn't face the queue" Bex turns her whole body towards me, and says quietly whilst smiling. God she could stop my heart with that smile.

"Yeah, guessed that. I'm fine, just a long morning. Teachers all want assignments out of me already" I start eating my pasta, and realise just how hungry I am. I look up to see Joe staring at me meaningfully. OK Joe, I'll do it... but not right now, I silently tell him. He understands what I'm hoping he will, gives one nod and turns to the guy next to him and starts talking football.

"Are you busy later?" I ask Bex without looking at her.

"No, you wanna do something?" She puts the empty carton to one side and makes a grab for the cookie I got her.

"Yeah, if you're free. I need to talk to you about something. Grab a burger?" Keep calm Mike, it will be fine.

"Last time somebody said they need to talk to me about something, they left me to go and live the opposite side of the world" she's grinning at me though, so I know she's alright with it all now.

"We'll, I'm not leaving you Bex, I could never be away from you again babygirl" I put my arm over her shoulder, and pull her in to me kissing the top of her head.

"Good, cos I can't lose you again Mike" she turns and looks up in to my eyes, and holds my gaze for a bit longer than normal.

"OK, knock it off you two. There's no room for a porno movie in the canteen" Harry shouts from opposite us. He's laughing though as he chucks a chip at me. He's become much closer to Joe and Nate now that Oscar has gone. It's good, he needed them to step up and take him under their wing.

"Shut it Harry, just cos you can't have a friend without f*****g them" I throw the chip back at him laughing.

"Hey, what's friends without benefits... s**t, that's what it is" he grins at us stupidly then gets up and walks to the bin emptying his tray. "Later fuckers!" He sticks his middle finger up behind his head as he walks away.

Joe is laughing as he jumps off the table and follows him out.

.....

Bex

I see Mike's escalade in the carpark, and head towards it. There's no sign of him yet, so I lean against it and get my phone out and start nosing on i********:. It's all rubbish, so I get my sketchbook out and flip to my exam piece and start shading. I'm lost in drawing when I feel somebody near. "Hey Bex, you wanna go out somewhere on the weekend" Carl is leering at me... again. Why won't this guy get the picture.

"Carl, I've told you a few times now. I'm not interested, I've really tried being nice, but it's not going to happen ok"

"Why? You know I'd show you a good time girl" he grabs my wrist, christ, he's such a letch! I'm just about to pull my wrist away, when a voice says from behind him..

"Get your f*****g hands off her Malone" Mike is standing there, and I've never seen him look so angry, it sends a shiver through me. He's staring at Carl with ice in his eyes.

"What you going to do Torres? She your girl or what?" Carl let's go, but turns to Mike sneering.

"She's my girl as far as you're concerned, now get the f**k away from her, and never even look at her in future" Mike takes a few steps towards Carl and is face to face with him. His hands are fisted by his side. Carl looks at him, looks down at his hands and backs off looking wary.

"OK man, sorry. I didn't realise you two had hooked up. If you don't try and all that eh. Enjoy her man, bet she's f*****g hot in bed" Mike lunges for him and hits him straight in the nose. Carl falls back and his nose splits open, there's blood everywhere.

"f**k man!" Carl shouts at Mike, but he turns and walks off.

I look up and see Mike standing infront of me.

"You OK?" He grabs me by my shoulders and looks in to my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm good. I could've handled him though, but thanks" there's a look on his face that I've never seen before. I'm not quite sure what it is.

"I know you could, but I just saw red when I saw his hands on you. I couldn't stop myself" he smiles at me now, and I relax. This is Mike, my best friend of 15 years. Best friend.

"It's fine, I was just lost in my drawing" I laughed as I start putting it away in my bag.

"Yeah I saw. I was enjoying watching you before that asshole disturbed you. Its really good, nearly finished?" He's so handsome, dark hair, almost black which flops over his face a bit. Tanned skin and muscles so defined they could of been drawn on to his body. They can be seen under his tight white t-shirt, and when he lifts his arm to rake his hand through his hair, I can see the v above his jeans, as they had slipped down slightly. What the hell am I thinking... shake yourself out of this Bex. I shake my head slightly, and Mike looks quizzically at me.

"I'm, yeah, nearly finished. Um, let's go, I'm starving" I grab my bag and walk around to the passenger side and climb in. I need a breather.

"OK, we'll grab a drive through and head to the park if that's ok"? Mike looks over at me for confirmation, and all I can do is nod my head and stare straight ahead.

.....

Mike

At the park, we find a bench and sit down. I pass Bex her burger and fries, and put her milkshake down next to her. It's really quiet here today which I'm glad of. If she walks away from me after I tell her what I need to, then there won't be many witnesses to my humiliation.

"OK, I'm going to come straight out with this Bex OK. Just please, don't throw our friendship away, please. That means more to me than anything, and I can't bare to lose it" I'm raking my hands through my hair, something I do when I'm nervous. It's probably all sticking up everywhere now.

"Go on, I'm listening. Our friendship is safe no matter what" she grabs my hand and holds it in both of hers.

"OK.... I love you Bex, I mean, I really love you, I'm IN love with you. I want you by my side for the rest of our lives as my girlfriend, then as my wife... obviously the wife part is years down the line, but, what I'm trying to say is, it's always been you Bex. You're in my heart forever. I see you in my dreams, I hear your voice when I do something I shouldn't, I think of you all day every day. I want you. You're the most gorgeous, sexy, Intelligent girl I've ever laid eyes on, and nobody will ever come close to you, my feelings for you are like nothing I've ever known in my life" I took a chance and looked up at her. She was looking at me with her mouth open slightly, and a total look of shock covering her face.

"Um, I, uh... I just had no idea Mike, what the, um how? When? I just don't understand" she's shaking her head and I think I've really f****d up.

"Bex please, look, just forget about everything I said ok. Let's just forget it and keep the friendship that we have. I..."

"Shut up Mike." I close my mouth and look at her. "I just wasn't expecting this ok. I need time to get my head around this. You've had,... what, how long?" She questions me.

"15 years... but I guess, properly, I realised my feelings were more than just friendship ones 4 years ago, not long before your mum" I look down at our hands again.

"Wow, 4 years... really? OK, so you've had 4 years to get your head around your feelings, and I've had what, 4 minutes? I'm not saying that I don't have feeling for you Mike, more than friends, I do, I think. There's been these, moments I guess, over the last few weeks, and I don't know how to explain them as I haven't given myself a chance to think about what they mean. I do know that I don't want to lose you again, ever, and even just thinking about being apart from you again, is enough to make me go cold inside. Let me get my head around what you've said, and give me a chance to think about what I'm feeling. Please?" I can't believe she's not knocking me back straight away.

"Of course babygirl. I'm sorry, I've just thrown this on you, when I've had all that time to get used to it. Come here" I pull my hand free, open my arms and she slots straight in to them, fitting perfectly "I'll always love you babygirl, but I want to keep your friendship if I can't have more. That's all I ask" I whisper in to her ear. An elderly couple walk past slowly, and smile over at us 'awww, young love Geoff, do you remember it'... 'of course I do Viv, that was us 60 years ago' we hear them say as they stroll hand in hand down the path. I smile, good god I wish that is me and Bex in 60 years too.

"We can't let the oldies down now can we babygirl" I joke as I pinch her side gently.

"i***t" she laughs and slaps my hand away.

"Come on, Joe will punch me if I keep you out any longer" I pull her to her feet and we make our way back to my car "I'm trying to keep on his good side at the moment, I seem to be pissing him off a lot since I got back" I laugh, Joe is just protecting his sister, I don't hold it against him at all.